The power of selfless love…

I read this recently and truly felt my heart warm, I thought ‘wow’.

Imagine if more people could begin to understand the power that is self less love, of giving without expecting but being rewarded in ways that you could never dream of?

‘True love is selfless. It is prepared to sacrifice.’ Sadhu Vaswani

 

 

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“My wife got sick.  She was constantly nervous because of problems at work, personal life, her failures and problems with children. 

She has lost 30 pounds and weighed about 90 pounds in her 35 years. She got very skinny, and was constantly crying. She was not a happy woman. She had suffered from continuing headaches, heart pain and jammed nerves in her back and ribs.

She did not sleep well, falling asleep only in the morning and got tired very quickly during the day. Our relationship was on the verge of break up. 

Her beauty was leaving her somewhere, she had bags under her eyes, she was poking her head, and stopped taking care of herself. She refused to shoot the films and rejected any role. 

I lost hope and thought that we’ll get divorced soon…But then I decided to act on it. 
After all I’ve got the most beautiful woman on the earth. 

She is the idol of more than half of men and women on earth, and I was the one allowed to fall asleep next to her and to hug her shoulders.

I began to pamper her with flowers, kisses and compliments. I surprised her and pleased her every minute. I gave her lots of gifts and lived just for her. I spoke in public only about her. I incorporated all themes in her direction. I praised her in front of her own and our mutual friends.

You won’t believe it, but she blossomed. She became even better than before. She gained weight, was no longer nervous and she loved me even more than ever. I had no clue that she CAN love that much. And then I realized one thing: The woman is the reflection of her man. If you love her to the point of madness, she will become it.“           

– Brad Pitt

 

A lesson for us all, appreciate what you have right now, be grateful and spend time developing, loving and nourishing it {career, love, family and friends}

Love & light, Charlie x.

‘Only those who have learned the power of sincere and selfless contribution experience life’s deepest joy: true fulfillment.’ Tony Robbins

 

Its here! Live a life you Love… {my book}

Live a life you love {PRESALE}

I could not be more excited, in fact Ive been struggling to contain my excitement for the past week!

Today; Live a life you love, a guide to living your life well is released on PRESALE.

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Live a life you Love is a book {195 pages} filled with information designed to help you live a better life. To introduce you to healthy habits that you can incorporate into your lifestyle daily.

NO MORE dieting.

The book is broken into sections; Mind, Body & Soul to effectively enhance these areas in your life.

Live a life you Love can be used as a 21 day program or as daily motivation {pick a page each day and make it your focus} or as  a dose of love and inspiration whenever you are feeling you need it.

{Includes over 40 healthy recipes}

Presale
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Because I believe in giving back, 10% of every sale will be donated to the RSPCA. Its about time we made a change, imagine if we each made a difference. By purchasing Live a life you Love, you will be giving back to the community, sending some love to the animals, who have never done anything but given us love.

I would like to express my heartfelt thanks to everyone who has made my dream my reality.

Love & light, Charlie x.

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‘Be in love with your life, every minute of it’. Jed Keroure

{delivery is approx 2 weeks/DONT miss out}

Time for a change…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

No doubt your feeling like you have over indulged {slightly or a lot}, just like myself.

To continue practising the gift of giving, I am promoting Be Well; the Project for $75 until January 6th.

 

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‘Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship.’ Buddha

Email me for more information.

Love & light, Charlie x.

{Gift vouchers are also available}

The best is yet to come.

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My Gratitude.

Today, on my 30th birthday, I want to share my gratitude to every person I have had the pleasure of meeting for a moment or a lifetime.

‘I have found that if you love life, life will love you back.’ Arthur Rubinstein

I am grateful beyond words for all the support, love and opportunities you have all given me.

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I wouldn’t be where I am today without meeting any of you, through the good and the bad it has all made me who I am today…and (not egotistically) I am really Beginning to love the person I am becoming, every day.

‘In the end, it’s not going to matter how many breaths you took, but how many moments took your breath away.’ Shing Xiong

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There was a time in my life that I lived in darkness, I rarely felt happy or believed in the greater good; there was a time I didn’t think that life was worth living. Now, I can say it is the opposite, there are still moments that test the strength that I have found, but I’m finding the love in my life diffuses them; love can conquer all.

‘When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile.’ Unknown

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My life goal is to share this love that I have found, the inspiration and motivation to become more. We all have it in us to be great.

In fact; ‘Our greatest fear is not that we are inadequate, it is that we are great beyond measure’ Coach Carter

‘Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, worn or consumed. Happiness is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace, and gratitude.’ Denis Waitley

 

So today, with every beat of my heart, and the light in my soul. Thank you.

I am loving the life I am living and it’s because of you.

I can’t remember the last time I had Botox, filler or even my hair done {although it is due, the greys are starting to show 😉 } and I have never been happier. Not just today because its my birthday and I’m feeling blessed beyond words, but every day this happiness stays with me, I do feel like I am living my dream reality. This is my proof that looks do not make a person.

I’m not here trying to pretend to be perfect, I’m just here, living my life, doing what I can every day to be the best version of myself.

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Thank you.

‘The essence of all beautiful art, all great art, is gratitude.’ Fredrich Nietzsche

Love & light, Charlie x. {30, flirty & fabulous}

I have made up my mind to define my own destiny.

Yes, this is my ‘Healthy/ish’ homemade Nutella cheesecake birthday cake :).

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A girl or a woman.

As  I am changing my life I truly feel like I am becoming a woman.

What is the difference between a woman and a girl? A cultivated sense of self. As you get older, you become wiser. Very true age old saying.

 

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‘I like being a woman, even in a man’s world. After all, men can’t wear dresses, but we can wear the pants.’ Whitney Houston

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being either. I just wanted to express my thoughts about my feelings, and experiences of what I believe is entering womanhood.

You learn not to sweat the small stuff, you learn about true relationships and people. You become aware of who you are. The things you like, the things you dislike. Youve made enough mistakes to learn from (perhaps are still learning). After years of hard work, growing and learning some woman find it objectionable to be labelled or called a girl. It’s as though being a ‘woman’ rather than a girl demands respect. Weve done the hard work, lived through the highs and lows of life and have chosen the lives we currently live. We have been tested with lifes tribulations and proved that we are worthy of a beautiful life.

‘It takes people a long time to learn the difference between talent and genius, especially ambitious young men and women.’ Louisa May Alcott

I recently read in an article; I go to work with woman, I go shopping with the ‘girls’ (obviously woman but meaning a sense of freedom). Is there pressure as a woman to always be composed? Perhaps so. Woman have a demeanour, a sense of knowing, you may even call it ‘pressure’ placed on them. Especially to ‘make it’ in this face paced world.

As a woman you create a confidence. A confidence that comes from a trust of yourself.

‘People think at the end of the day that a man is the only answer [to fulfillment]. Actually a job is better for me.’ Princess Diana

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We can develop these senses through more self-love work, more positive affirmations, more healthy habits. Every day you are creating change in your life, every small step today is towards your future self. My gosh, even the food you eat today, is what you become…your skin cells turnover every 28 days (approx, this does slow down as we age), the food you eat creates the cells within your body. Are you making the right choices? You really are what you eat.

“A girl wants attention, a woman wants respect. A girl wants to be adored by many. A woman wants to be adored by one.” -anonymous

Do men prefer woman or girls, well I guess that is up to the individual man. Some of my male friends prefer ‘yes’ girls, the type that aren’t pre committed to their own career instead want to commit to their own beck and call.

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‘Smart women love smart men more than smart men love smart women.’ Natalie Portman

Girls have a tendency to believe that the world revolves around image; woman know its whats on the inside that counts.

Girls may believe a man will be their financial saviour; woman know they can be their own financial success.

Girls play games; woman don’t.

Girls look for someone to look after them; woman look for others to look after.

Girls change themselves depending on their man or situation; woman have a firm set of beliefs and sense of self regardless of the situation or man.

Girls speak without integrity; Woman offer integrity in everything they do.

Girls have not yet learnt the value of their body and will use it for attention, flaunting & disrespectfully; woman have learnt the body is priceless to be treasured and shared with someone special.

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“After spending time with a girl, you feel exhausted because she takes more than she gives. After spending time with a woman, you feel invigorated, because she empowers you with possibility, and a passion for life.”  N. Mah

{Please note this is not an ALL girls or ALL woman are like the above post}

After all,we are all beautiful creations. But believe me if I could give my 20yr old self some of the wisdom I know now, I would have changed a few of my ways 😉 But then I wouldnt be where I am today, which is so perfect & Im so grateful.

Love & light, Charlie x.

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Thirty, flirty & fabulous…

So they say…In only a few days time I will turn the big three zero.

I cannot even begin to understand the emotions Im feeling, overwhelming excitement, nervous anxiety, anticipation and I must admit, slightly concerned.

‘Being happy doesn’t mean that everything is perfect. it means that you’ve decided to look beyond the imperfections.” Unknown

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I know for a fact that I am not the only person to give themsevles the ’30 yr’ deadline; it goes somehting like this…Marriage, house & kids.

Hmm.

As I reevaluate my life (and not to much will change in the next few days) I will be 100% (just for emphasis) single, renting and with no dependants (however I do refer to my book as my baby/coming SO soon).

Now, please do not mistake me, I am more than 100% in love with my life (even the challenges that are arising), I just wanted to express my confusion about the mixed feelings I am experiencing and explore why we put so much pressure on ourselves to obtain certain things and even worse on a deadline.

‘Happiness cannot be traveled to, owned, earned, or worn. It is the spiritual experience of living every minute with love, grace & gratitude.” Denis Waitley

When we are little we envision our lives to be something out of a fairy tale (yes, I blame disney for my high standards and hopeless romantic status). We expect to get the career we want, to move swiftly through promotions, to meet the man (or woman) we dream of, complete with the fairytale wedding and then move into our dream house and have gorgeous children.

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We give ourselves a timeling of 30.

By 30 all of these wonderful things should have happened to us. But what if they havent yet? What our truly gorgeous younger selves forget to realise is that in between all of those goals/fantasies…life happens.

Also, as we become more driven to succeed, 30 is the year of fabulous, you know just enough to know what you want, have developed a sense of self, and most likely are living or beginning your dream career. Times have changed.

‘Accept responsibility for your life. Know that it is you who will get you where you want to go, no one else.’ Les Brown

 

Life, something we can take for granted; we rush through it waiting to achieve the next goal or attain the next social status or level of achievement. Life is beautiful, in this very moment, all the good and the bad. Does it really matter if you dont drive the latest range Rover? Wear the latest Lululemon? Or have a thigh gap? No, these things are only material and do not last the test that is time. People will remember  how you make them feel, how they enjoy or dislike your company.

‘A beautiful woman with a good heart can never be ugly’.

So as Im finalising my book release (I can honestly say this has caused some nerves, anxiety and sleepless nights), Im trying to keep focused on everything wonderful that I have created in my life. I am reflecting about what I have been, what I have done but only from a place of re-evaluation. At 30, its time for me to put some goals together for the next few years, for a goal is a dream with a deadline.

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I actually believe with every essence of my being that 30 will be one of my best years yet. 28 was good, 29 has been pretty amazing. I will believe and I will create an even better year (with some more wisdom). Today, I am planting the seeds for my tomorrows, for the beautiful life that is my dream to develop & grow, to flourish. Every day I am prepared to do the work (even when I dont feel like it); the positive affirmations; healthy eating; yoga practice; to stop the negative self talk. These healthy habits are like water for the positive seeds in my life.

‘He who is of calm and happy nature will hardly feel the pressure of age, but to him who is of an opposite disposition youth and age are equally a burden.’ Plato

So whilst Im far from married etc, I am commited to my business goal, to inspire and motivate others, to become the very best version of myself. I cannot begin to express my sincere gratitude to everyone who has helped me get to where I am today.

As always with my writing, I am not here to say my thoughts are the right or wrong way, they are simply expressions of my thoughts, of the world I live in. My life is not perfect, but I am dedicated to achieving my dreams and I know that even in this very moment, with every opportunity that is presented and with my current problems that require solving…I am exactly where I should be. Every challenge is an opportunity for me to prove just how much I want it (my dream, to share love & inspire).

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‘Everything negative – pressure, challenges – is all an opportunity for me to rise.’Kobe Bryant

I couldnt ask to be in a better place in my life right now. I am so thankful for everything that has occurred (many good and many not so good things) to lead me here; this place that I can honestly say is happiness.

Relax on the pressure and just enjoy life.

Love & light, Charlie x.

Addicted to success {I determine success as loving what you do, being happy with life and being at peace with yourself}

{Only a few more days until Live a life you Love; a guide to living your life well is released!!!}

 

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Self love Sunday…Practice patience

You are a beautiful masterpiece & just like all the great masterpieces of history, you will take time.

‘Have patience with all things, But, first of all with yourself.’ Saint Francis de Sales

 

You are a work in progress.

 

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So often we create goals or deadlines and push ourselves to extreme limits to achieve them. We race from moment to moment trying to ‘get there’ {wherever that may be} without appreciating the moment we are in. The present.

Today is a gift, thats why they call it the present. Look around you and appreciate your life and the people in it. You created everything that you see.

‘Happiness is not something you postpone for the future; it is something you design for the present.’ Jim Rohn

IMG_0106Why do we give ourselves this pressure? We think that when we achieve that goal or ‘make it’, ‘get there’, that then we will feel peace. Unfitunately this is not true, yes you may feel a sense of achievement but contentment no. You will create another goal, another deadline to rush towards, racing to achieve it.

‘We could never learn to be brave and patient, if there were only joy in the world.’ Helen Keller

IMG_1516Whatever it is in your life you are working towards; being healthier, being happier or just living a better life, take some time to appreciate the hard work youve done.

You are a {gorgeous} work in progress. Sunday self love, practice some patience with yourself. Appreciate everything you have done to get to where you are right now. Because it is perfect for you. This moment in your life is exactly where you should be.

‘Be patient and understanding. Life is too short to be vengeful or malicious.’ Phillips Brooks

Take some time to breath. Be still. Say ‘thank you’.

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If things arent quite going the way you were hoping, take some time to accept this. Appreciate mistakes as an oppourtunity to learn. Without them how would you develop and grow? If things are a little down, this is the perfect time to stop, re evaluate what the situation is and look for a solution. Be a solution finder not a problem maker.

‘Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word happy would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness. It is far better take things as they come along with patience and equanimity.’ Carl Jung

Every day I wake up with a grateful heart and think to myself…I wonder how life will surprise me today’.

Good or bad, I can deal with it. I can accept problems as a challenge to test my strength, my self trust, my faith and passion. For thats all challenges really are, a way to prove your strength, an opportunity to prove your faith.

Love & light, Charlie x.

Taking a moment to reflect on the {amazing} life I am creating through hard work, dedication and perseverance

 

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Wanting what we cant have.

The forbidden fruit syndrome. I’m sure you’ve experienced this at some stage of you life; from aesthetically wanting to be taller, thinner, prettier; to relationships, wanting who you can’t have, or know someone who has.

When it comes to health; when we restrict ourselves on diets, we automatically want and desire the foods we ‘arent allowed’.

‘You change your life by changing your heart’. 

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I’ve been heard saying (many times) ‘why do I always seem to fall for the ones I can’t have’? (I’ve also heard this more times than I can count from girlfriends and guy friends alike). We want what we can’t have.

Studies show that when you are told NO, it increases your desire, your want and need. The mind becomes fixated on getting a YES. We really are complicated  creatures with an intricate thinking process.

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In terms of dating what is it that attracts us to those that are emotionally, mentally or physically unavailable to us? Is it the thrill of the chase? Is it a desire for self-justification, or proving self-worth when and of they finally say yes? What happens when you dont get that justification?

You may have chased someone, frustrated with their lack of interest, for them to turn around and be interested and you actually decide your actually not interested (a common occurrence).

‘If a person wants to be a part of your life, they will make an obvious effort to do so.  Think twice before reserving a space in your heart for people who do not make an effort to stay.’

We hear of it repeatedly with marriage affairs; a woman or man is happy to be the ‘mistress or man on the side’ but when the married party talks about divorce it’s as though your pouring ice cold water over a burning hot flame, the side party is no longer interested.

If someone is unattainable, either they are already committed or unable to commit, it does not mean you are not good enough, or that you are not worthy of love. remember everyone has their own beautiful life journey, we are all at different times and stages of it. When it is right, you will both be in the right situation, the right time.

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We associate love and pleasure in our brains releasing Dopamine. This can make it difficult to break away from situations where the romance is unsuitable and clearly not beneficial of your time. Dopamine makes us feel good, when we remove the situation that creates this feeling our body, the mind will crave it, its a natural response to want to feel good. Sometimes its the drama we are addicted to; the highs, the lows, the circle of unpredictability. How healthy is this? This circle is destructive to any bonds of intimacy you hope to create and it wont be long before you feel depleted, alone and confused. My advice, find other ways to create pleasure, spend some time with people who are available; loved ones who care and respect you.

‘Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.’ Audrey Hepburn

unfortunately there is no consolidation (from the song)  being “with the one you’re with” when it’s not the “one you want.” But the good news is that time does heal everything and you deserve better than being on the side or someones part time. If you are with someone who is not the one you want, my opinion is that you should spend some time being on your own, not mis treating someone who is giving you their priceless time and affection, rather wait patiently for something that is right to come along, rather than just being with anyone.

Some people are unattainable; people who are married, in a relationship, I even believe seeing someone continuously (building something). Dont be the person to break apart these commitments.

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Find someone that is available and you can become unavailable together.

‘If anyone can have it, I dont want it’.

In the terms of diet, stop restrictive thinking. You can have anything you want, just remember; Junk foods create junk moods. Choose to honour your body, and if you need that 3 pm chocolate, choose dark chocolate full of Cacao/antioxidants. Balance.

Love & light, Charlie x.

Remember karma, what goes around comes around.

As always these are simply my thoughts about the complex world that is dating and the amazing gorgeous thing called LIFE.

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Orthorexia…do you have it?

I have been one of ‘these’ people at many reoccurring instances.

The person who can’t eat this, can’t eat that, wont touch processed foods, only eats ‘clean’.

‘A risk-free life is far from being a healthy life.’ Deepak Chopra

 

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Orthorexia Nervousa; is a proposed eating disorder or mental disorder characterized by an extreme or excessive preoccupation with avoiding foods perceived to be unhealthful.

Perhaps you are one of these people or know of someone who suffers this. I have found this to be a rapidly increasing trend as we become more aware of the damage harmful chemicals and additives in food can cost our bodies, our minds, our lives. Also as aprt of the latest ‘lean’ fitspo image trend. People are choosing to eat ‘pure’ (good for them), organic, or healthy labelled foods. The food companies have noticed. Believe me when I say what you think is healthy can be just as bad if not worse than a chocolate bar, especially my personal bad habit; fruit and nut bars.

Sufferers have different levels of this disorder. It can be simply eating clean, to removing full food sources such as whole grains, or anything that has been processed in any way. Unfortunately like any eating disorder or addiction, there can be mental issues that become associated; anxieties, social discomfort, and obsessive compulsive disorder.

When does making healthy choices turn into Orthorexia, for each person it would be different, but if you notice rapid weight loss or dont choose the right nutrition to fuel your body, you may suffer from malnutrition.

When you begin to spend less time with loved ones, family and friends for fear of not being able to eat healthy, if you decline social environments (I am really guilty of this) because there wont be a healthy menu, these may be signs its time to relax a little on your ‘clean’ eating regime.

‘I really believe the only way to stay healthy is to eat properly, get your rest and exercise. If you don’t exercise and do the other two, I still don’t think it’s going to help you that much.’ Mike Ditka

 

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Believe me I promote healthy, clean eating with every essence of my being, fresh is always best. Unfortunately we live in a chemical world so at some stage you will be exposed to chemicals, toxins and xenoestrogens. If you are a 100% clean eater, perhaps you follow no gluten, no diary. When you are exposed by choice or by accident you can create sensitivities as your body now treats these objects as an allergen.

I have found that we can create addictions, good or bad to hide from our reality or from issues we dont want to deal with. We throw ourselves into distractions to change our focus and procrastinate dealing with the real issues.

‘Follow your dreams, work hard, practice and preserve. Make sure you eat a variety of foods, get plenty of exercise and maintain a healthy lifestyle.’ Sasha Cohen

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Live a life in moderation. If you need a chocolate hit, have it, a small block of dark chocolate. If you need the destress wine, have it; a red wine full of reservatrol (antioxidant).

 

‘A healthy outside starts from the inside.’ Robert Urich 

 

After years of diet mentally, of being told I cant have this or that, then resulting in a binge eating addiction, I now believe in everything in balance. Take away the ‘diet’ mentality. Of the yes I can have that or no I cant.

 

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What I have found to be true: eating right makes you feel right. Junk foods create junk moods.

I am now following the IIFYM (If it fits your macros) lifestyle…it is not a diet, more a scientific approach to your bodies requirements (I will dedicate a post to this soon).

Live a life you love (in balance).

Love & light, Charlie x.

 

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The Backup Plan

Perhaps you have seen the movie, Jennifer Lopez plays a single woman that takes her situation into her own hands and opts for the service of a sperm bank, it is then she meets the man of her dreams.

‘Ever since happiness heard your name, its been running through the streets trying to find you.’ Hafiz

 

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My back up plan is a little different, it’s as simple as a friend and I decided that by the time I turned 30, if there were no prospects, we would be together, get married, have a house with a white picket fence (well actually a farm with acres of rolling green grass).

As I’m approaching 30, I’m experiencing mixed emotions about it; positive and negative, but I was reminded about my back up plan.

Back up plans, are they good? It is quite comical really. My backup plan was made with a man who I had thought was the most amazing (ever and yes I do tend to wear my heart on my sleeve and fall head first into the men I actually like a lot) man who was perfect for me, a few years ago. At the time we dated, we were young, both only beginning to completely know ourselves. We weren’t ready to settle. Throughout the years of our friendship there have been numerous fun times and moments; family gatherings (my family still harass me about him today), so we decided to create our own back up plan. At a time we thought we would be ready (30, when your younger you expect to have your whole life planned by the time you are), if we were both free, we would choose to be together and create a life.

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I realise now that we created this back up plan as a way to ease our insecurity and offer both of us some form of protection, no matter what happened we would have each other. We offered each other a sense of security.

‘The dreams that you hold for your future are what you dream about at night. Theyre always at the back of your mind. Theyre what your heart desires. They keep you going. Accept reality and have a backup plan, but always follow your dreams no matter what.’

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To be someones ‘back up’ plan, could be seen as putting yourself as someones option, or even as a second choice in a derogatory manner. However, from my experience (only the 1), we built our back up plan on a friendship, with mutual trust, respect and love (I do consider myself extremely lucky). The plan was all made in fun, Im not sure we were serious, but the sense of security and of true friendship I gained was priceless, for that I will always be grateful to him.

“The most valuable gift you can receive is an honest friend.” Stephen Richards

To be lonely and alone is one of the greatest fears of many in this world. Especially as we begin to see failed marriages, divorces, and bad relationships surrounding us. I mean, I could count on one hand the number of truly, madly, deeply, head over heals, unconditional love, types of relationships I know (and the people who are in them are just amazing).

‘Loneliness is my least favorite thing about life. The thing that I’m most worried about is just being alone without anybody to care for or someone who will care for me.’ Anne Hathaway

When it’s not acceptable to be a ‘backup’; if he/she keeps you waiting, playing with your emotions and treats you disrespectfully.

This is not a backup plan, he/she is keeping you as an option in case anything better comes along, but you’ll do in the mean time. Do not allow yourself to be someones option, second choice or time filler. You are an amazing, gorgeous creation and you deserve the very best, set yourself some standards.

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Now as the big 3 0 is approaching, rapidly, I may need to ask for an extension on our plan …whilst I am free, my passion, time and energy needs to be directed to creating my dream reality. Lets hope he agrees or I’ll be looking for a new one 😉

“Freedom is not the absence of commitments, but the ability to choose — and commit myself to — what is best for me.” ―Paulo Coelho

Hopefully I can continue my search for truly madly, passionate all-consuming love that as the hopeless romantic that I am, do believe is out there for me.

Love & light, Charlie x.

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Do you have a back up plan?

I would love to hear about it! Comment or email me charlie@charliedehaas.com.au