I will tell you.
Depression is:
Being encompassed by a darkness that allows you to see no light, no matter how much beauty is in your life.
Depression is emotionless.
Depression is a feeling of hopelessness.
Depression is feeling alone. Disconnected in a world of connection.
Depression numbs your senses, robs you of joy, of happiness, of motivation and instead of being grateful for the life that you live (which does always have its beauty) you can barely understand the point of life, or comprehend the purpose of living.
Depression kicks you down even when you want to get up {and its a strong f&*ker, believe me I know}.
Depression is when you feel like youve lost hope, you contemplate why are you are doing all the things you are doing and getting nowhere, when you start to question the very essence of the being that you are.
Tears flow for no reason at all, and often (sometimes you can actually just make a small smile having a giggle at your self being all emotional for no reason, because its OK to cry).
Depression; it feels like the weight of the world is on your shoulders and there is no one to help you.
Life is not all sunshine & rainbows (thanks Rocky).
Im one of the first to admit that I suffer depression and it freaking sucks.
‘Depression begins with disappointment. When disappointment festers in our soul, it leads to discouragements.’ Joyce Meyer
Sometimes there can be no trigger, sometimes there can be many.
For me, as I build my life around love, my brand about helping other people, when I am let down or disappointed by people I start to lose a little faith in humanity. One of my business beliefs is first help other people get what they want, and then you will get what you want (Zig Ziglar quote) & #sharelove; give more love everyday. Yet, when I get hurt I often feel that I have no love left to give…this is the start of a depression cycle for me. Contemplating when & if ever I will receive love (when Im not depressed I know Im blessed), and have people in my life that truly care (not just in the social media world).
The thing with depression, is that you cannot control it.
But you can create self love tools to minimise the time spent in the darkness.
What I have found helps me, and Im no expert, simply sharing techniques that help me minimise my own stormy weather;
*Know that it will pass. The darkness will let you appreciate the light, and with every sunset there is always a sunrise.
*Be patient. Just do what needs to be done in your daily life, just get it done. Sometimes thats all you can do. You can be a world & game changer tomorrow when you feel better.
*Take some time out. Im not saying wallow in yourself, but if you feel like it’s all getting too much, have a half hr rest, maybe don’t go to the gym and go to bed early, get ten hrs sleep. Go and sit, and just be somewhere, still. We live in a world of ‘busy’, we work so hard until we actually fall apart or have a complete meltdown. Try get 8hrs sleep EVERY night.
If your laying in bed, wrapped up in terrible thoughts; go to sleep. AND GET OFF SOCIAL MEDIA.
*Fill your body with nutrients. Speaking from experience, Ive often used my down times to reach for junk food, binge eating until I feel 100% worse than what I already was feeling, using my emotions as an excuse. Learn this lesson. Instead, know that your body is needing some extra love, get a green smoothie, a rainbow salad, green juices.
‘If you dont think your anxiety, depression, sadness and stress impact your physical health, think again. All of these emotions trigger chemical reactions in your body, which can lead to inflammation and a weakened immune system. Learn how to cope, sweet friend. there will always be dark days.’ Kris Carr
*Minimise caffeine (note to self). Caffeine will only provoke the anxiety that your already feeling, instead try switch to chamomile tea or at least green tea (minimal caffeine).
*Write. Get it out of your mind. I know when I’m depressed, being the control freak that I am I try to figure out whats going on, what I need to do, over-analyse (everything, yes even texts and social media likes), and try to organise myself, free from the clutter that all seems a blur in my mind. This can do my own head in MORE. Writing helps get it out.
If it hurts to keep everything inside, get it out. What I have found with my depression is I generally extract myself further from anyone close to me, another few bricks go on my already well-built wall and I don’t feel comfortable letting someone close enough to speak to; fear of judgement, sure. Writing is my answer. Speaking to someone might be yours. THERE IS STRENGTH IN WEAKNESS.
‘The deepest fear we have, ‘the fear beneath all fears,’ is the fear of not measuring up, the fear of judgement. Its this fear that creates the stress and depression of everyday life.’ Tillian Tchividjian
I feel: write your own (disappointed)
What situation occurred to make me feel this way: write your own (I didn’t get what I wanted)
What I’m really feeling/thinking: write your own (my dream will never become reality, why am I even trying? Ill never be good enough)
Thought change: write your own (This is my life, my dream and I can make it happen. Where there is a will there is a way. I can process these emotions and then move forward, value the lesson learnt and look for new opportunities).
And with that let it go. If you can. Or just go to bed and rest. AND TRUST THAT YOU ARE BLESSED: THE UNIVERSE HAS YOUR BACK.
*Dont focus on the thoughts. When we are depressed we tend to think things that are not even true; I’m not lovable, I will never make it, Im hopeless, Im a failure, Ill never be good enough etc. These are not true statements at all, yet depression leads us to believe them, and with the thoughts follows emotions, sadness, loneliness…etc.
Just say ok. Im feeling (insert your word here) anger, hurt, frustrated. And then let it go. It will pass.
*STOP with the negative action. If your re reading someones messages, replaying someones words, actions, and it causes you to hurt. STOP. Just delete (yes the delete button is ok to use). If you are over eating that causes you to hurt/feel worse, STOP. If you turn to self-destructive alcohol or drugs, STOP. After all of these self sabotage practices we ALWAYS feel worse, so try give yourself a break (and yes, I am well aware as I write this Im speaking to myself).
*Earth. Have you heard about this? Earthing is when you walk barefoot with nature. Take some time to just BE.
‘Basically, the theory is that our bodies are meant to come into contact with the Earth (a “grounding” force) on a regular basis. Positive electrons in the form of free radicals (ever heard of those guys?) can build up in our bodies and direct contact with the ground balances this out as it is a negative grounding charge.’
Our bodies and cells have electrical energy, and especially with the high prevalence of Electromagnetic waves, Wi-Fi and mobile phone waves, many of us have a high amount of positive electrons built up in our bodies.’ Excerpt Wellnessmama.com
Interested? Read this: Earthing: The Most Important Health Discovery Ever
*Breathe. As funny as it sounds, we all to often we forget to really breathe. Notice your breathing right now, in this moment, shallow, just filling the top of your chest, fast, small, rapid. Breathing is the best way to calm your central nervous system so just take a moment and practice a breathing technique I use often from Deepak Chopra. For the count of 1, 2, 3, 4 breathe in, retain your breathe at the top of your inhalation. Then for the count of 1, 2 , 3, 4 exhale and retain at the base. Repeat x10. Youll soon feel a sense of calm.
“Maybe you have to know the darkness before you can appreciate the light.” Madeleine L’Engle
My words to you, and to myself, is that when you are feeling this way, just know that its ok. Dont beat yourself up about not being 110% motivated, chasing after your dream or having the best day ever. Just do what needs to be done, be gentle, kind and loving with yourself. Rest. Push the PAUSE button. Retract from anyone that makes you feel bad…perhaps (and I am trying to do this) minimise your time spent on social media and just read, write, listen to music, be still.
Love & light, Charlie x.
Know that because you have a bad day does not make it a bad life.
