What is a sexpert?
Well just this week I spent an evening with one, Juliet Allen as part of the Daily Guru, Self love Series.
The topic of the night; Reconnecting with yourself – The Feminine & the Sexy.
What can I say, I was excited. I was unsure of course what type of things we would be discussing especially as Juliet started her talk with ‘sometimes Im told Im to raunchy/explicit, and sometimes Im told IM not enough’.
I presume everyones assumption of ‘raunchy’ is different, and I believe that is the key core message that Juliet got across.
So to reconnect with your feminine and be the sexy sensual goddess you are, it takes 7 steps.
‘She is a woman who radiates light. She is magnetic’
#1 Take care of yourself.
Put yourself first.
Self care & self love. When you feel good about yourself you create an essence of confidence (without ego).
Take time out for you, reconnect, do the girly things, get a manicure, a massage, a facial.
Take care of your body. Confidence starts on the inside. Are you treating yourself like the gorgeous sexy hot woman you know you are? Eating nourishing foods? Training your mind? Creating good situations to be in? Or are you not? Perhaps choosing not so nutritious foods that can leave you feeling bloated and blah, chatting to yourself ceaselessly negatively (how can anyone feel good with those negative words on repeat?), or being in situtaions that just dont make you feel good.
#2 Embrace your sexuality.
Your desires. Yours wants. Be into sex if you want. Be sexy. Have great sex. Get more. Or less. Know what you want and get it. This is non negotiable. You are the only one who knows what you want, so go out there and get it. Be strong, be sexual, be you.
#3 Work in your own stuff.
Let go of the past. Drop the emotional baggage off.
Orgasm is in the mind. Intimacy is in the mind. Pleasure is in the mind.
Let go of yesterday, things that might have happened and accept who you are, and embrace it.
#4 Stop Judging.
Embrace the lifestyle & choices of others. Stop judging others. We are all unique. Respect the choices people make. Respect their decisions. Respect who they are. Its not for you to decide or comment about what should or shouldnt make a person happy. Let them be them, and you jsut be you. Focus on getting more of your own big O’s before your quick to judge other people.
#5 Be open to new experiences.
Try everything once. Create new experiences. Be bold. Read books, blogs, videos…explore. Be open with your partner. Communicate. Say yes or say no. Tell him/her what you want. Sexuality is designed to be explored. Like something, say so. Dont like it, say it.
‘Being tied up is so in right now, thanks to Mr Gray’ Juliet.
#6 Allow yourself to be vulnerable.
Vulnerability = intimacy.
‘Sex is by nature a vulnerable act on so many levels. To open ones body bare, to share deep feeling, to allow yourself to be penetrated or seen naked, to expose tender parts of yourself like desire, fantasy and insecurity, to allow yourself to want and desire and to be fulfilled. These things are vulnerable.’ Amy Jo goddard.
Risk getting hurt. Open yourself up. We hide behind our fears of ‘what will he/she think’, scared of being judged. Again, be who you are, and jut own it. Find someone with the same thoughts as you, sexual freedom to explore.
#7 Step into your power.
You can chose to be sexy.
Make it a priority. Stop blaming others or making excuses. You have the power to create change. Your lack of, or great sex life is all up to you. Do you want more sexual freedom…get it. Do you want better sex… Ask for it. Want to try something new…whatever it may be, ask for it.
If you want a FWB… find one. If your happy for a one night stand, have one.
*Obviously always practice safe sex. (Did you know that wearing a condom is becoming increasingly rare?)
Interesting evening with a few q & a’s at the end.
Raunchy? I thought it could be more. But it was a great experience to be in a room full of woman, and a few men, and openly discuss what was once a taboo subject.
Yet the stats say:
Only 25% of women are completely satisfied with their sex life.
Only 12% of men say they are satisfied with their sex life.
39% of women wish they slept naked with their partner more often.
23% of men say they have no sex life.
I personally think that just like we train our bodies and our minds, our sexuality, chemistry and body experiences could be an area we could learn a bit more.
Or perhaps, this just goes back to self love…knowing who you are and what you want.
Love, Charlie x.
P.s have you checked out my new funding campaign… I would love you to buy some #balls…