Your life, your responsibility.

Many people know what they want yet have no idea to get there. Many aren’t prepared to take action towards their goals. Whilst others aren’t sure what their goals are.

‘The greatest day in your life and mine is when we take total responsibility for our attitudes. That’s the day we truly grow up.’ John c. Maxwell

 

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What is it that you really want from life? If you could change anything in the life that you are living now, what would it be?

If you want something, do everything you possibly can to make it happen. Take action. Daily. Consciously. Make a change today.

You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today.’ Abraham Lincoln

Find your goal and make a plan. Other people can’t achieve your goal for you it’s yours. Make decisions about achieving your goal then give it your all, your mind, body & soul. Dedicate your heart to your passion and achieving it. You can create your dream reality, if you focus. Energy goes where intention flows.

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Stop playing the victim and giving other people the power to change your life. And stop waiting for other people to make your life better, or make your dreams come true. You are the only one who can change your life.

You can choose to be happy, just as you can choose to be unhappy.

‘One reason so few of us achieve what we truly want is that we never direct our focus; we never concentrate our power. Most people dabble their way through life, never deciding to master anything in particular.’ Tony Robbins

Whatever happens, if it works, if it doesn’t, if you make mistakes… IT DOESNT MATTER. Mistakes are proof that you are trying. If you truly want to make a change realise that you can, believe in the beauty of your capabilities and make it happen. It wont be easy but it will be worth it.  Be prepared to learn, to grow and develop in your life. Be flexible, allow your direction to change as your life does.

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‘It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light. Aristotle Onassis

As I’m learning about business and working for yourself, I have realised I’ve been asking a lot of my friendships and from the people in my life, in terms of support and connections. I realised this when I was  experiencing a feeling of disappointment and being ‘let down’. I had to stop to think about where these emotions were coming from, what was occurring at the time and how much was I depending on other people to do the work for me? I soon realised, I had become dependant. I was utilising my support system as foundations of my business (rather then my internal strength) when they should simply be supporting structures (of a building, not 100% on this terminology, but Im sure you understand what I mean). My lesson, don’t rely on other people to do the work for you, they have their own lives to keep their focus on and no one can do what you do the way you do it.

1468706_10152113662923619_1138440331_nOne’s philosophy is not best expressed in words; it is expressed in the choices one makes… and the choices we make are ultimately our responsibility.’ Eleanor Roosevelt

Goals are dreams with a deadline. Consciously plant the positive seeds in your mind to support the beautiful garden of your mind. Plant seeds of strength. Belief. Faith. Realise what it is you dream of becoming, the life you dream of living then strive to succeed with perseverance and determination.

Dont just live your life, design a life you love to live.

Love & light, Charlie x.

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Self love Sunday…getting control.

The day of the week to be still and reflect on your life, to plan and make changes (I love Self love Sunday).

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‘To enjoy good health, to bring true happiness to ones family, to bring peace to all, one must first discipline and control ones own mind. If a man can control his mind he can find the way to Enlightenment, and all wisdom and virtue will naturally come to him.’ Buddha

 

As Im reflecting, Ive noticed that I’ve created a dependence on food to feel a sense of control, eating until a sense of satiety takes over (ridiculous amounts). Not only this but I’ve falling into the ‘I don’t care’ category, filling myself with anything toxic. As I think about it, it scares me, I have never lost my own motivation in this way. Sugar, chocolate, chips and Ice cream. Now I’ve always been prone to a ‘cheat’ meal or two a habit  I have desperately been trying to break the circle of dieting. I believe in balance, but it’s always been the one or two, this time it’s been over 2 weeks where I haven’t gone longer than a few days without reaching for a sugary treat.

‘This is the very perfection of a man, to find out his own imperfections.’ Saint Augustine

 

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Where has this come from? After researching and discovering the many causes of out of control eating/over eating and binge eating I realised I had created this as my ‘go to’. As my world is changing (I currently have the luxury of not having to set an alarm any day or be anywhere at anytime except for yoga class and a few seminars weekly). I had created a dependence on food in lieu of a sense of routine (and I am an OCD/addictive personality). In times of being unsure we become dependant on other areas in our life that we can control; partners, substances, exercise (this was my normal addiction), good and bad habits.

So how do we break these bad habits and dependencies that come on so quickly they occur without us even realising?

Make a plan. Today is a new day, I’m using my self-love Sunday to write a commitment letter to myself. Just as a reminder; healthy is happy. And a reminder that I care for my wellbeing.

I know I feel better in my body and mind when I make healthier choices (junk foods create junk moods, I have found this to be true). I am the only one in control of my life and I can choose how to live it.

‘A man sooner or later discovers that he is the master-gardener of his soul, the director of his life.’ James Allen

I also have to remind myself, it’s ok to make mistakes. For you see my whole life I have been involved in health and fitness, I live and breathe it, especially now as it’s my chosen career; the career I love. I will remind myself that it’s ok to slip up. Guilt is a bad thought that leads to bad emotions. Which only then lead to more of your bad habit (such a terrible cycle).

Let go of the guilt. The pressure to be perfect (all the time). Life is made to be lived; we live and we learn.

 

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‘The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.’ Albert Ellis

As I reflect, making my plan, I’m thinking about the triggers; a bad day, lack of motivation, and for me personally; the hope of something blossoming into a relationship that didn’t (rejection, something I deal with poorly). I have determined this has been, amongst others, the trigger to my low self-esteem, ‘I’m not good enough’ thoughts. Why, when this time of my life, (everything is amazing) this particular person doesn’t want to be involved? . These thoughts can lead to hurt, sadness and a negative downward spiral. But it’s ok to feel them sometimes, just know when it’s time to stop (today).

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Today, is my time, I’m choosing to not give my power, my self-love away to someone, away to the addictive chemicals in ‘bad’ food. Instead I’m going to write My Commitment letter and reflect on everything that is amazing in my life, because I am truly blessed. I’m starting a 28 day ‘clean’ program. Not a Diet. In 28 days it will be my 30th birthday and I’m hoping the release of my book; Live a life you love (fingers crossed). What better motivation, to be the very best version of myself.

What are you committed to? Where is your focus? What can you do today to make a change in your life?

‘As your faith is strengthened you will find that there is no longer the need to have a sense of control, that things will flow as they will, and that you will flow with them, to your great delight and benefit.’ Emmanuel Teney

I am the only one who can create my dream reality, and I have the faith, knowledge and belief that I will. Mistakes do not define me, they empower me.

Love and light, Charlie x.

I’m off to spend the day doing the absolute final (scary and exciting) read though of my Manuscript.

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Monday Motivation…

Today it is my great pleasure to share with you someone who motivates me everyday, someone who is living proof that you can overcome life’s adversities to change your life and become the person you want to be, living the life you want to live.

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Introducing Linda Fenech; Salon owner and therapist of Skin Fitness Hair and Beauty.

Linda began beauty therapy in 1993, 18 years ago. Then in 1996 bought her own salon and has grown her business to where it is today.

Linda: I have two established and busy salons in the Hawkesbury area of NSW with more business opportunities and adventures arising. I have 25 staff who are locally hired and undergo extensive training. All salons and staff have the latest up to date technology, science and trends.

All staff are very experienced in all different aspects of beauty. I have won the local business awards 10 times, winning the overall GOLD prize also for best business in the Hawkesbury and last year won overall best business person in the Hawkesbury 2010, we were awarded and made an Ambassador salon for Napoleon Perdis Makeup, With Napoleon himself inviting me to LA and NY for fashion week. We have also been rewarded with 10 trips to Paris as incentive trips from Payot Paris (prestigious skin care range).

I have a passion and dedication like no other, which is why we have achieved such great awards and results.

NBB: When did you decide you wanted a career in beauty?

I have always been an outgoing girl who just loved people and making them smile. I was 15 years old and in year ten in high school when I saw a job advertisement for an apprenticeship in beauty therapy. I wanted practice with interviewing and thought what do I have to lose. I passed the first two interviews and had a practical work day and I loved it, so much I found my career path.

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NBB: Has there been any challenges along your journey?

The absence of family and the time you spend away from them.

NBB: How do you maintain balance between your Career and personal health?

When my marriage broke down I realised I needed to step back and take some time out for me, I had lost touch with who I was and what I wanted from life. I had become depressed and lethargic.

NBB: When did you decide to create change in your life?

I woke up one day and was having a depressed day. I wanted to  pull the covers over my head again and hibernate. I got up made a cup of tea and thought about the people in my life who have overcome adversity, my mum, friends who have lost a child and I thought to myself; I am the only one that can change my situation.

It was not at first a goal to get a fit body, but a healthy mind (also if I’m honest, jealous of my ex husband and his new girlfriend, I wanted to look good).

‘you’ve got to be willing to lose everything to find yourself’. Lyanla Vanzant

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‘Your life is a result of the choices you make, if you don’t  like your life, its time to start making some better choices.’

NBB: Who are your inspirational figures?

Seriously I have a couple, My cousin David Vassallo, a really good person with heart and compassion.

Charlie, yourself, just proved to me I could do it.

Fred Hasting, He has lost alot of weight and inspired me constantly.

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NBB: How do you feel as an inspirational figure/mentor? You manage a team of young women daily (I know its not an easy task)…

My staff call me mum at times because I like to give them advice and support. Some of my team have lacked friends or family support and I love being their big sister or mum. At times with hormones etc we can all have tough days but honestly overall I hire on good hearts and trade skills. You can always trade skills and learn something however a bad attitude or mental approach is the most difficult to change.

‘What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us’ Oliver Wendell Holmes

NBB: What do you believe are the keys to success in business?
Love what you do, treat people well and work harder than anyone else.

NBB: What is your advice for anyone who has a dream?
Plan, set goals and targets and adapt when needed.

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NBB: When can we look forward to next from you?

I want a family that’s what I hope for next.

(NBB: Knowing you and your caring generous nature, you will be an amazing mother.)

NBB: Share something no one knows…

Noone knows that I actually am full of self doubt and hide it behind a smile. I believe if you think it you become it. SO I am a work in progress.

I sincerely thank Linda for her time.

If you would like to experience any amazing beauty/spa or hair treatment, visit www.skin-fitness.com.au for locations and services.

I realise there are many more inspirational stories out there, if you have an inspirational or motivational story you would like to share (it can be shared anonymously), please submit by email (charlie@charliedehaas.com.au) or personal message.

Life isn’t always easy and we all need motivation to create change for the greater good.

Love & Light, Charlie x.

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Build a Bubble Butt

Ive heard the term ‘bubble Butt’ being used a lot lately, in fact there is even a new Hip Hop song by Major Lazer; Bubble Butt. I myself have often referred to a leg training session as building a bubble butt.

So in keeping with my NO EXCUSES motto (anywhere, anytime you can always workout), here is your very own build a bubble butt workout…

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Warm up:

10 minutes gentle walking, cycle or cross trainer.

1: Squats.

Feet hip width distance apart, lower until parallel and rise by pushing through the heal.

Repeat  x20

2: Lunges.

Stand up right and step forward with your right leg, (approx. 2-3 feet), slowly lower your upper body with the knee bending, be sure the knee doesn’t bend over the front toe, keep your posture straight, and push up through the heals (use your hands on your hips if you struggle with balance).

Repeat x 20 each leg and swap.

3. Squat Jump.

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Repeat x 20

4: Lying Hip Lift (thrust)

Begin by lying on your back with your arms by your side. Place your feet hip width distance apart. Push through your heals and lift your hips up. Hold at the top and then gently lower.

Repeat x 20

5: Sumo Squats

Place your feet further then hip distance apart with your toes pointing out. squat as low as you can whilst keeping your posture straight. Press back up to standing.

Repeat x 20

6:  Bulgarian Lunges

Similar to a standard lunge, but place your left leg on a platform (or chair) and lower. (Excellent to target the troublesome areas).

Repeat x 10 each side

7.  Calf Raises

Find the edge of a stair or curb, stand with your heals of and press up into your toes, squeeze your calves, hamstrings and butt, hold and lower until you feel the stretch.

Repeat x 20

8. Step Ups.

Using a stair or bench, begin with one leg up and on the bench and use the other to step up and down. Keep up momentum.

Repeat x 20 each side (this is my personal torture)

9. Wall Squat.

Position yourself against a wall, feet are shoulder distance apart, lower until your legs are parallel to the floor.

HOLD for as long as you can (minimum 20 seconds).

10: Jumping Jacks x 20

REST for 2 minutes and repeat x 3-5 (depending on your fitness level)

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Are you committed to change? This is a NO EXCUSES exercise routine that can be done anywhere. Where there is a will there is a way.

You can have the body you want, but you will have to work for it. Make it count.

It will be worth it I promise.

Love & Light, Charlie x.

 

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A ‘Can do’ attitude

Whether think you can or you think you can’t, your right.

Think positive thoughts, and positive things will happen. It sounds so simple, yet for some people it can be everything but.

I have lived a period of my life consumed by hate & negativity. Disgruntled at the situation I was in, feeling ‘victimised’ by the situations that occurred in my life, feeling the ‘poor me’ syndrome. Always  expecting someone to reach out and just make everything better.

I wasn’t wise enough, willing to look within, or ready to comprehend the power of self love and self assurance.

We can only live this way for so long.

Aren’t you sick and tired of being sick and tired??? Isn’t it time for a change?

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The power of the mind has been studied for centuries, and is receiving more and more recognition in recent years. There have been numerous best sellers (the secret), movies and motivational speakers (Anthony Robbins) that have created empires teaching people how to change their mindset and create the life they love.

Remember, we are creatures if habit. The power to change relies on the breaking of ‘bad/unsupportive’ habits. Negative thoughts are simply bad habits, thoughts you have created in response to situations.

Contemplate for a moment how amazing would it feel to break a negative, bad, makes you feel everything but good, habit?

We are all intricate individuals living busy lives, pursuing happiness. It is easy to be consumed by fear and negativity.

What if you actually reached that state of happiness…now? Do you think that would make you feel good? If in this very moment, you had a sense of well being, of peace, of serenity?

Yes…you would feel good, more then good (great I expect).

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Happiness is everywhere…it is in the rising of the sun every morning to light your world, it is in the  breeze that circulates pollen to fertilise the flowers, the carbon that is removed &  oxygen that is released from trees to assist in our state of living, it is in the sun setting allowing the stars to shine bright in the night sky. 

Are these gifts from Mother Nature not happiness? Have you taken a moment to wonder at the worlds natural beauty. To stop for a moment, breathe, relax. Calm your mind. Then deal with whatever situation you are in or that may have occurred.

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A personal favourite mantra of mine (and I’m still learning to master this art); Respond, do not react.

We tend to react when we are acting in fear, of wanting to be right, from a place of anger (any state that is opposite of calm).

We respond in a calm manner. Anger or negativity has subsided and we can communicate effectively.

Yes, still learning this (have been advised on many occasions, not to send ‘that’ email).

So, how can we break the bad habits of negative thoughts/affirmations…

‘Write it on your heart that everyday is going to be the best day of the year’ Ralph Wardo Emerson

Wake each morning with a feeling of gratitude. Be thankful for the day that you have been blessed with. Every day can be a GOOD day.

‘There is nothing good or bad, only thinking makes it so’ Hamlet

When a negative thought occurs in your mind, acknowledge it, and let it pass by. Pay absolutely no attention to it. Negative thoughts are affirmations, just negative. The more you repeat them, the more you focus on them, the larger they will grow and suddenly it will seem you are consumed.

Understand that the thought will pass. The feeling that you are experiencing will pass. Refocus your mind. think of something that sends warmth into your heart, a person or place that creates a feeling of wellness within you.

Plant seeds of positivity into your mind. Just like a garden those seeds will grow. Feed them, water them, nourish them. This may include activities hat make you feel good; reading, running, yoga…DO MORE of what makes you feel good.

Have faith that you can change your life for the better. Trust yourself. Believe.

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‘The greatest discovery of all time is that a person can change his future by merely changing his attitude’ Oprah Winfrey

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 You can create the life you love, you just have to believe it.

My ‘Can do’ attitude was given to me by my Opa; dutch for grandfather. Who, at a very young age had us on his knee learning to drive (manual) tractors on the family farm (whether or not he was trying to teach us a lesson or train us to work on the farm/free labour, who knows?). To this day, he will remind me of my repetitive cries ÍCANT do it”. This man, who is everything any Man or woman could look up to (moved to New Zealand during the war, away from family & friends and my beautiful Oma; dutch for grandmother, to create a life of opportunity, and our gorgeous family), did not believe in the words Í CANT’, so we just had to do it (I wasn’t very happy about it at the time I expect), but…I drove a manual tractor, into a few hedges but never the less, I DROVE. And to this very day I remember this lesson taught to me at a young age, if those horrendous words ‘I CANT’ enter my mind and I suffer from self doubt I hear his voice, You ‘CAN’.

*Id like to point out here, that it wasn’t about whether you drove into the hedge or the barn (a cousin of mine  has left her permanent mark), it was about trying.

Love & light, Charlie x.

Today I am choosing to be grateful that thorns have beautiful roses, rather then sad that the roses have thorns. There is good and bad in all things, let the good into your life, nourish it, and it will flourish. Believe it.