The day of the week to be still and reflect on your life, to plan and make changes (I love Self love Sunday).
‘To enjoy good health, to bring true happiness to ones family, to bring peace to all, one must first discipline and control ones own mind. If a man can control his mind he can find the way to Enlightenment, and all wisdom and virtue will naturally come to him.’ Buddha
As Im reflecting, Ive noticed that I’ve created a dependence on food to feel a sense of control, eating until a sense of satiety takes over (ridiculous amounts). Not only this but I’ve falling into the ‘I don’t care’ category, filling myself with anything toxic. As I think about it, it scares me, I have never lost my own motivation in this way. Sugar, chocolate, chips and Ice cream. Now I’ve always been prone to a ‘cheat’ meal or two a habit I have desperately been trying to break the circle of dieting. I believe in balance, but it’s always been the one or two, this time it’s been over 2 weeks where I haven’t gone longer than a few days without reaching for a sugary treat.
‘This is the very perfection of a man, to find out his own imperfections.’ Saint Augustine
Where has this come from? After researching and discovering the many causes of out of control eating/over eating and binge eating I realised I had created this as my ‘go to’. As my world is changing (I currently have the luxury of not having to set an alarm any day or be anywhere at anytime except for yoga class and a few seminars weekly). I had created a dependence on food in lieu of a sense of routine (and I am an OCD/addictive personality). In times of being unsure we become dependant on other areas in our life that we can control; partners, substances, exercise (this was my normal addiction), good and bad habits.
So how do we break these bad habits and dependencies that come on so quickly they occur without us even realising?
Make a plan. Today is a new day, I’m using my self-love Sunday to write a commitment letter to myself. Just as a reminder; healthy is happy. And a reminder that I care for my wellbeing.
I know I feel better in my body and mind when I make healthier choices (junk foods create junk moods, I have found this to be true). I am the only one in control of my life and I can choose how to live it.
‘A man sooner or later discovers that he is the master-gardener of his soul, the director of his life.’ James Allen
I also have to remind myself, it’s ok to make mistakes. For you see my whole life I have been involved in health and fitness, I live and breathe it, especially now as it’s my chosen career; the career I love. I will remind myself that it’s ok to slip up. Guilt is a bad thought that leads to bad emotions. Which only then lead to more of your bad habit (such a terrible cycle).
Let go of the guilt. The pressure to be perfect (all the time). Life is made to be lived; we live and we learn.
‘The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.’ Albert Ellis
As I reflect, making my plan, I’m thinking about the triggers; a bad day, lack of motivation, and for me personally; the hope of something blossoming into a relationship that didn’t (rejection, something I deal with poorly). I have determined this has been, amongst others, the trigger to my low self-esteem, ‘I’m not good enough’ thoughts. Why, when this time of my life, (everything is amazing) this particular person doesn’t want to be involved? . These thoughts can lead to hurt, sadness and a negative downward spiral. But it’s ok to feel them sometimes, just know when it’s time to stop (today).
Today, is my time, I’m choosing to not give my power, my self-love away to someone, away to the addictive chemicals in ‘bad’ food. Instead I’m going to write My Commitment letter and reflect on everything that is amazing in my life, because I am truly blessed. I’m starting a 28 day ‘clean’ program. Not a Diet. In 28 days it will be my 30th birthday and I’m hoping the release of my book; Live a life you love (fingers crossed). What better motivation, to be the very best version of myself.
What are you committed to? Where is your focus? What can you do today to make a change in your life?
‘As your faith is strengthened you will find that there is no longer the need to have a sense of control, that things will flow as they will, and that you will flow with them, to your great delight and benefit.’ Emmanuel Teney
I am the only one who can create my dream reality, and I have the faith, knowledge and belief that I will. Mistakes do not define me, they empower me.
Love and light, Charlie x.
I’m off to spend the day doing the absolute final (scary and exciting) read though of my Manuscript.