Be happy… NOW (not when you…)

 

Take a moment to stop and think..are you happy? Yes, no? Or are you a ‘when I’, or ‘when this happens’ Ill be happy?

Sorry to rock your world beautiful one but if you arent happy today with what you have right now in this exact moment…you wont be happy when you get those abs, that white range (yup thats on my own goal board), the hot hubby (yup, hes on there to) or whatever your ‘it’ might be.

Because your goals will always change and life will always happen. Things dont go to plan, and no matter how organised or proactive you might be…life will change. That guy that you adore, might not reciprocate your feelings. That promotion might be given to someone else. Etc, etc. What is meant for you will be.

You have to trust this, whilst working for all that you dream of, but being here today, present and grateful.

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Happiness…what is it even?

Material things; that promotion, that house, $$$, do not guarantee happiness.

Yet we claim these as symbols of success, and success to be happiness.

‘Everyone chases after happiness, not noticing that happiness is at their heels’ Bertolt Brecht

We use our ‘busyness’ as a sign of success; the busier we are the more important/successful we think we are.

Success, derived from the Latin succedere, means ‘to go on well’. Surely this would imply that success is a journey?

We {myself included} wake up with thoughts of ‘just do it’, ‘you can have it all’, ‘make it happen’, now Im not saying these are not good thoughts, but what is your ‘it’? What is ‘it’ that you are striving for.

Is it material? Or is it to inspire? Is it to love more? Emotional/spiritual goals? Are you looking for something/someone to complete you? Because the truth is, everything that you are looking for is right inside of you. And your happiness can be found in this moment.

Happiness is not an ‘it’ and the more you chase ‘it’ the more difficult it will become to achieve.

‘If your definition of success has little or no measure of love in it, get another definition’.

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Tell me, if you were to go to sleep every night content and happy…is this success?

We often read bibliographies of great men, who upon their last words wished they had made more time for the things that mattered; their family, their wife…their loved ones. See, they’ve realised, just a little to late,  that love is what it is all about. At the end of the day.

Everyday.

It all comes down to love.

‘The intelligent man quickly realize the importance of gold’ Hafiz

What is really important to you?

If love is important, how can you have more love in your life today?

If happiness is important, how can you be happier today?

If health is important, how can you be healthier today?

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Be present now. Whilst yes, I am a dreamer and I have BIG plans, when I find myself daydreaming {this includes interior designing & launch party invite creations of my 5 year goal/The Clean Treats Factory} I have to make a conscious effort to return to the moment, to today. Because if I don’t, If I spend my time to far in the clouds, to far in the ‘when I’ thoughts, the things that actually need to be done to make this dream come true, wont be.

Do you do what you love everyday?

Do you smile with someone everyday?

Do you exercise, eat healthy, treat your body with respect everyday? (If your anything like me I know for a fact that eating well can be felt as happiness within my body).

These are moments of success.

‘Dont aim for success if you want it; just do what you love and believe in, and it will come naturally.’ David Frost.

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{I am so blessed to receive such kind words like the above, truly makes my heart smile, and keeps me going when those not so great things happen, as they do in business, love, life.}

It is a proven fact that happier people are more productive. So saying something like ‘I am happy with my work’ will generate a positive outcome. Saying something like’ I hate work’ wont.

If today you can just be a little better than yesterday, your already on your way to creating your own dream reality.

‘Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm. Winston Churchill.

Even the above quote states that success is to keep going. If you ask me about business, happiness or love {not that I know a whole lot, I make mistakes everyday, but I am trying}, my words to you, to anyone would be to find what makes you happy, believe in yourself and never quit, and just blimmin enjoy it. Laugh, cry, scream, go to bed and then get the f&8k back up and get shit done.

Love & light, Charlie x.

Love right now. No matter where you are in your life, or what is happening, you are exactly where you should be & everything will always be ok.

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Gluten Free Apple Crumble #yum

Im so excited to share this delicious recipe with you today!

Created by Angie Cowen from Love life and Gluten free….

Gluten Free Apple Crumble:

 

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As well as being a tasty and warming dessert, I love having any leftover crumble for breakfast through winter. It’s warm both in temperature and with its gentle use of ginger, cinnamon and nutmeg.

Gluten free, grain free, vegan
(Serves 8) 

Ingredients

Apple Filling
  • 7 large red apples, peeled (approx 1kg)
  • 6 Medjool dates, large soft variety – pitted
  • 1 tbsp finely grated ginger
  • 1 tsp cinnamon (ground)
  • Zest of 1 medium lemon
  • Pinch of Himalayan crystal or Celtic sea salt
  • 2 cups fresh or frozen blueberries
  • 2 tbsp tapioca or true arrowroot to thicken
Crumble
  • 3 tbsp tapioca or true arrowroot
  • 1 tsp cinnamon
  • 1 tsp nutmeg
  • 2 tbsp coconut sugar or maple syrup (real)
  • 3/4 cup roughly ground almonds
  • 3/4 cup desiccated coconut
  • 1/4 cup extra virgin coconut oil (melted)
  • 2 tsp natural vanilla essence

Method

  1. Peel and core apples, then cut into rough 1-2cm cubes. Place apples in medium/large saucepan with about 1/2 cup water and gently simmer, covered on a low heat. Rotate apples bottom to top every so often until apples are just tender but not mushy (usually 10-15 minutes once water is steaming). Add berries and mix evenly. Once berries are warmed through, add tapioca and stir well (you will see the liquid thicken). Cook for a further minute, stirring often, then remove from heat. At this stage, preheat your oven to 180°C.
  2. Finely chop dates and combine them with lemon zest, ginger and cinnamon and mix well. Toss through the apples and set aside.
  3. Combine coconut sugar, tapioca, almonds, desiccated coconut, cinnamon and nutmeg in a medium bowl and mix well.
  4. Melt coconut oil and add to dry ingredients along with the vanilla essence. Combine so that the oil is evenly distributed amongst the mix.
  5. Place apple mix evenly in medium pie dish. Spread crumble mix over top of apple and bake for 15-20 minutes, or until crumble topping is lightly browned.
  6. Serve

 

A woman or a girl; how to tell.

As  I am changing my life, working every day on my dreams whilst still trying to be the best person I can be (kind, thoughtful, loving, giving), I truly feel like I am becoming a woman.

“A girl wants attention, a woman wants respect. A girl wants to be adored by many. A woman wants to be adored by one.” -anonymous

What is the difference between a woman and a girl? How can you tell?

Being a woman brings a cultivated sense of self. As you get older, you become wiser. A very true age old saying.

 

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‘I like being a woman, even in a man’s world. After all, men can’t wear dresses, but we can wear the pants.’ Whitney Houston

There is absolutely nothing wrong with being either. I just wanted to express my thoughts about my feelings, and experiences of what I believe is entering womanhood.

You learn not to sweat the small stuff, you learn about true relationships and people. You become aware of who you are. The things you like, the things you dislike. Youve made enough mistakes to learn from (perhaps are still learning and your ok with that).

After years of hard work, growing and learning some woman find it objectionable to be labelled or called a girl. It’s as though being a ‘woman’ rather than a girl demands respect. Weve done the hard work, lived through the highs and lows of life and have chosen the lives we currently live. We have been tested with lifes tribulations and proved that we are worthy of a beautiful life.

woman
noun
  1. an adult human female
girl
noun
  1. a female child.

‘It takes people a long time to learn the difference between talent and genius, especially ambitious young men and women.’ Louisa May Alcott

I recently read in an article; I go to work with woman, I go shopping with the ‘girls’ (obviously woman but meaning a sense of freedom, about letting our inner child come out). Is there pressure as a woman to always be composed? Perhaps so. Woman have a demeanour, a sense of knowing, you may even call it ‘pressure’ placed on them. Especially to ‘make it’ in this fast paced world. I know there are several woman I aspire to be like and they always hold themselves with composure, speak words of truth and are true to who they are. They just know who they are, and what they want, and what they need to do to attain it.

As a woman you create a confidence. A confidence that comes from a trust of yourself.

‘People think at the end of the day that a man is the only answer [to fulfillment]. Actually a job is better for me.’ Princess Diana

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We can develop these senses through more self-love work, more positive affirmations, more healthy habits.

Every day you are creating change in your life, every small step today is towards your future self. My gosh, even the food you eat today, is what you become…your skin cells turnover every 28 days (approx and this does slow down as we age), the food you eat creates the cells within your body…Are you making the right choices? You really are what you eat.

Do men prefer woman or girls, well I guess that is up to the individual man. Some of my male friends prefer ‘yes’ girls, the type that aren’t pre committed to their own career instead want their woman/girl to  commit to their own beck and call (which is also fine if that works for you).

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‘Smart women love smart men more than smart men love smart women.’ Natalie Portman

Girls have a tendency to believe that the world revolves around image; woman know its whats on the inside that counts.

Girls may believe a man will be their financial saviour; woman know they can be their own financial success.

Girls play games; woman don’t.

Girls look for someone to look after them; woman look for others to look after.

Girls change themselves depending on their man or situation; woman have a firm set of beliefs and sense of self regardless of the situation or man.

Girls speak without integrity; Woman offer integrity in everything they do.

Girls have not yet learnt the value of their body and will use it for attention, flaunting & disrespectfully; woman have learnt the body is priceless to be treasured and shared with someone special.

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“After spending time with a girl, you feel exhausted because she takes more than she gives. After spending time with a woman, you feel invigorated, because she empowers you with possibility, and a passion for life.”  N. Mah

{Please note this is not an ALL girls or ALL woman are like the above post}

After all,we are all beautiful creations. But believe me if I could give my 20yr old self some of the wisdom I know now, I would have changed a few of my ways 😉 In writing that, I wouldnt be where I am today and wouldnt have my story to tell, which is so perfectly imperfect, Im grateful.

Love & light, Charlie x.

All I aim for now is to be respected. Not loved or even liked (but if wither then this makes me happy), but respected for my grind, for my dream chasing, for my passion to create change.

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Can women have sex like men? #nocommitment

Last night I was watching a tv show… (my trainer has asked me to stop over training at the moment to balance my hormones and Im left at night time with time) where the woman was stressed out and advised by her male business partners that she required a FWB… a friend with ‘benefits’.

It was recommended to her to find someone she is attracted to but had no respect for so they could enjoy a purely  physical relationship without the risk of getting attached.

Weve all watched Sex and the City, and if your like me…probably over and over. We know the story of Samantha who portrays a strong woman, knows what she wants, wont settle for anything less and is happy to be directed by her sexual fantasies with an ‘easy come, easy go’ in all senses of the words, attitude.

Can women have no commitment sex?

What I believe to be true…

Now, the pros are you both know it’s what it is, there’s no game playing, no sweetness, no fake promises. No sweet lies of romance (hopefully, if your FWB knows whats up), no leading on, no dating.

Its just a natural human  action you’ve both agreed to. And lets be real, we all want to feel the warm touch of someone sometimes.

This is type of relationship/agreement is fine if you are prepared to ignore emotions, because I promise you they will appear.

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As a woman is it possible to have sex without getting emotionally involved?

“Your naked body should only belong to those who fall in love with your naked soul.” –Charlie Chaplin, in a letter to his daughter, Geraldine.

For some, you might say yes. For me… no. Every time Ive decided to have this kind of arrangement, feelings appear, about someone who is not even close to what Im looking for. All because of the hormones released after sex. And youre being intimate, shouldnt there be a level of like/love?

‘A key hormone released during sex is oxytocin, also known as the ‘cuddle hormone’. This lowers our defences and makes us trust people more, says Dr Arun Ghosh, a GP specialising in sexual health at the Spire Liverpool Hospital.

It’s also the key to bonding, as it increases levels of empathy. Women produce more of this hormone, although it’s not clear why, and this means they are more likely to let their guard down and fall in love with a man after sex.

However, the problem is that the body can’t distinguish whether the person we’re with is a casual fling or marriage material — oxytocin is released either way. So while it might help you bond with the love of your life, it’s also the reason you may feel so miserable when a short-term relationship ends.’ Excerpt The Daily Mail.

“Friends with benefits? More than friends? Don’t sample the goodies unless you’re willing to risk addiction and withdrawal.’ Ann Landers
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To often, women use sex to get love.  Some women have been known to sleep with men in order to make them like them more (in the hope of a relationship developing) if this is you, get real, what are you doing?

Relationships rarely ever develop after a one nighter, first night, it’s a fairytale, or after a FWB agreement.

Men like to hunt and women gather, remember to give him something to chase if you want to see him again.

Value yourself.

Ask yourself is it really worth it? Sure it might feel good to get some feigned attention, but for how long? How do you feel after the deed is done and your on youre way home? Does it feel good when he only contacts you to see if your available for late night horizontal cardio?

From what I know (personal experience and from friends), most FWB agreements have a maximum 3 months expiration before feelings are developed and you’re simply left wanting more. Which of course wont be given as you’re the one breaking the deal. From what Ive heard its always the female who is asking for more as her bond to this man develops.

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To share your body with another and expect that you will not be emotionally involved is really only lying to yourself. 

Women are emotion beings. We like to nurture, to develop, so don’t be surprised when those feelings occur and you start to contemplate dating you’re FWB. Only problem is, he’s already getting what he wants, you made a deal and he most likely doesnt see you as relationship material.

‘It’s not who you want to spend Friday night with, it’s who you want to spend all day Saturday with’

What happened to the days of dating? Of simply crushing on someone, asking someone out, enjoying some time, getting to know them before giving them all of us? Call me old fashioned but this is the demise of relationships and dating everywhere. Those 1 night stand, the casual hookups, FWB agreements, secret facebook messages, instagram page likes…where is the love? It really is no wonder most of us are in a state of confusion. Were living in a world were actions mean nothing, yet mean everything. Words have lost value & communication is started by hiting a ‘like’ button.

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And if youve found youre special someone…hold onto them, value them… dont lose a diamond while chasing glitter.

Love & light, Charlie x.

Pretty happy here, waiting (but not) for someone special, whilst working on building my dreams.

Have you had a FWB? Has it worked?

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Self Love Sunday, my non negotiable date.

We are getting busy. This we all know. Its nearly an automatic response when people ask how we are? Answer; busy. Almost as if being busy is a sign of success. But when is your busyness…too much?

‘Find the love you seek, by first finding the love within yourself. Learn to rest in that place within you that is your true home.’ Sri Sri Ravi Shankar

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Self Love Sunday. I will write about it & speak about it to anyone who will read/listen to me. I cannot begin to stress how important it is to just take a time out, for yourself.

You are the CEO of your life. A self love Sunday date with yourself is like taking a weekly meeting to review, analyse, gain clarity, organise and plan how to proceed with that dream chasing you’re doing.

‘You are very powerful, provided you know how powerful you are.’ Yogi Bhajan

Last week, I missed this (I was at the Fitness Expo all weekend with my #balls), and I could definitely tell I felt ‘off’ on Sunday night, but also through this week.

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‘Most of the shadows of this life are caused by standing in one’s own sunshine.’ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Rest is as important as everything else you do. Sometimes we get so caught up in ‘destination success’ {we think we wont feel successful or happy until we attain certain goals}, that we forget to realise that most of the time were crazy busy…we are actually unproductive, and we miss the happiness that can be found in this very moment.

Have you ever found yourself creating a whirlwind of things to do, stress, drama? Yet nothing really seems to be done? This is being unproductive.

‘A loving person lives in a loving world. A hostile person lives in a hostile world. Everyone you meet is your mirror.’ Ken Keyes.

I know for myself, and I would recommend you try it, my date with myself is time for me to just chill, to check in with my core beliefs, my passion, my purpose. Without this downtime, I would be just racing towards my BIG dreams, feeling pressured and stressed, without realising & appreciating the beautiful journey that I am on, including those highs and lows {& there’s many of those, daily when your trying to create your own business and brand}.

You dont even have to do anything. In fact this is one of my favourite dates… I book in time to DO NOTHING. And honestly it feels as good as those big deals and accomplishments feel.

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When was the last time you just did nothing?

Perhaps enjoyed a herbal tea {or wine} and just sat still? Sat underneath the stars and just star gazed?

This is my challenge to you…make a date with yourself, you; the CEO, the one who is responsible for all the decisions you make in your life, the one who gets to choose what type of life you will live, the one is the most important of all. Do something {or nothing} that you just love to do.

Plant your own garden and decorate your own soul, instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers.
’ Veronica A. Shoffstall

This week I went art shopping, its been forever since I’ve picked up pencils and drawn, but I remember when I was younger this was actually one of my ‘self calm’ techniques (without realising it), drawing was my escape {I can actually draw more than a few squiggles, but painting, well…this is more stressful to me than a corporate meeting with the CEO of a massive food store}.

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Just try it.

You are number 1 in your life. Your mental health is just (if not more) important than your physical health, yet we invest hrs every day working out our bodies. What are you doing to workout your mind?

Let me know how you go.

Love & light, Charlie x.

P.s whatever you do, DO NOT make this meeting and then cancel it. Would you do that in real life to your boss? Husband? It is a non negotiable.

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The Dating Game {for her}

I recently wrote an article about the complexity of the game that is called dating.

The response I received proved I was not the only player playing without a rule book.

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The Dating Game; For her…

{*Please note these are only my thoughts, not rules, and I am definitely not a professional dater}

Stop waiting for someone to ‘fix’ your life.

Is your life broken, perhaps not quite as you want it to be? We all go through the highs and lows that are called life, but its important that you look within yourself to ‘fix’ whatever it is you feel isnt quite right. You are the only one who can truly create change in your life. Sure, other people, love, may help, but these are only a temporary distraction from what is really going on within you.

Imagine how good it will feel when you create change in your life and you have yourself to thank for creating it (I can tell you, it is one of the most overwhelming emotions EVER).

‘Eventually all the pieces fall into place…until then, laugh at the confusion, live for the moment, and know that everything happens for a reason’. Carrie Bradshaw.

 

 

Love Yourself FIRST.

If you do not truly love yourself, how can you expect someone else to? Love your imperfections, these are your unique gifts. Love your attributes. Love the way you act, the way you speak…learn to love yourself. This is not coming from an egotistical point, but just be ok with who you are. Imagine looking in the mirror and instead of saying ‘I wish I was taller’, ‘gosh your fat’, ‘why cant I look like …{insert favourite models name here}; Imagine if you could start your day with positive self image thoughts; ‘looking good’, ‘Im feeling healthy today’, ‘I really love my hair/skin/eyes’ etc.

This is the best knowledge you will ever attain. You don’t need a certificate of attainment, for this will be written on your heart every day in the way you treat everything around you.

When you truly love yourself for everything that you are and everything that you are not you will give yourself that sense of security you may have always been looking for (I was, in all the wrong places). Good date, bad date, it wont matter because you will always have yourself.

Stop comparing yourself. You are precious; like a diamond.

“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.”  – Buddha

Ask for what you deserve.

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The game is tricky and many people are serial daters (dating 1, 2, 3 or more people at the same time). When you start to know someone, if you enjoy their company and things are going well, don’t be afraid to ask for respect (basically exclusivity with no pressure). Do you respect your time? So should he. The heart is a sensitive muscle and it can easily be damaged. Respect is a minimum requirement when emotions get involved. And if he can’t/wont….he doesn’t deserve your time. Its ok to create your own standards for what you think is acceptable treatment/behaviour.

Show him how to treat you.

Do you value yourself, your life, your time? Life gets busy and it seems, well for me anyway, my whole life not just work is on a schedule (yes I am hoping to relax this). Men tend to be more blaze then women about plans (we all know this as fact), show him or tell him that it isn’t ok to attempt to organise dinners/sleepovers….that day (A woman has to be prepared!). I’m not advising that you start playing games, just remember, women plan, men, well, they don’t.

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This also shows that you respect yourself and your commitments. Note to all the ladies out there; DO NOT CANCEL on pre arranged plans (with friends! We are all so guilty of this) because he calls last minute. It is not ok and your friends, you know those people who have been in your life for longer, will be upset.

‘A  loving heart is the beginning of all knowledge.’ Thomas Carlyle

Do not excuse bad behaviour.

Lies. Cheating. Abuse (physical or mental). Sabotage.

Is not ok.

Date the nice guy (and if you find one of these, let me know 😉 Nice, driven, motivated, kind, & replicates scenes from romcoms…up, its no wonder Im single).

Stop settling/better than nothing.

Don’t be the girl who NEEDs to be in a relationship. Have you ever asked yourself why? Why do you NEED to have someone in your life regardless of if you love them or not? Be happy on your own.

Don’t settle for less than you deserve, but also remember that no one is perfect. so, you don’t like his shoes or perhaps the way he does his hair…these are such minute details, do they even matter?

 

Get rid of your ‘list’. I once had a friend who had read a dating book which advised to write a list of attributes her perfect guy would have, then to keep it folded under her pillow and that then he would enter her life. Did it happen, no. Was every guy she ever met then on not good enough? Yes. Her list of attributes; generally; tall, dark, sexy smile, great body etc…only gave her high expectations that no normal guy could met.

“You cannot be lonely if you like the person you`re alone with.” Wayne Dyer

RELAX your ‘plan’.

The plan you dreamed of when you were a small girl (many dream of being married with children by a certain age) only puts pressure on yourself and the (poor) man you are dating. I personally had definitely thought I would be married by 30. Relax the plan, take it as it happens. Make it easy. Let it flow.

Have faith and trust that everything does happen for a reason. Perhaps you aren’t ready yet, perhaps you have some areas within yourself that need that love your willing to give away.

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“Whatever you are doing, love yourself for doing it. Whatever you are feeling, love yourself for feeling it.”  Thaddeus Golas

When it happens, it will be worth it, and it will be so much better because you will be complimenting each others lives rather than living in need.

Love & Light, Charlie x.

‘Where there is love there is life’ Ghandi

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Happy all the time?

Just yesterday I was asked if I was genuinely happy ALL the time.

I thought it was a simple question to deeply contemplate.

 

The answer of course is no. No, I am not happy all the time. Whilst most of the time I do believe Im living in a different world (choosing to see positive, opportunities and beauty), I still hurt. A cruel word or action can definitely pop my bubble and bring me back down to earth, wondering where did I go wrong? Whats wrong with me…why cant I just seem to ‘make’ it, why will nobody love me?

{oh hello self doubt, self sabotage thoughts}.

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The thing that I have found with happiness, is you must stop searching for it. Stop thinking; ‘When I get married’, ‘when I have a family’, ‘When I achieve my business goal turnover’… {you probably have your own ‘when I do this, then Ill be happy’}.

‘It is not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that makes happiness.’ Charles Spurgeon

The fact is happiness is yours right now, if you choose to see it, to feel it, and believe it.

Happiness is in the fact that you woke up this morning. For me, I woke up and exercised…happiness. I chose a clean egg white omelette with my espresso whilst I write this…happiness.

Happiness is the small moments that create our life. It is not, and will not ‘appear’ when you achieve your goals, in fact it will most likely remain just out of your grasp. Elusive.

We think happiness is something that means all our problems will dissappear…I promise you they wont. Everyday I genuinely feel a sense of contentment, passion and purpose course through my veins, but all day everyday…no. Its more a general state of wellbeing, of keeping a positive mind, of knowing that life will happen, challenges will arise, people will hurt you, {intentionally or not}…but everything willalways be ok.

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Happiness; you can cultivate it. With an attitude of gratitude.

I BELIEVE THIS WITH ALL OF MY BEING. 

Stop right now, sit comfortably, focus on breathing deeply and create a thought of gratitude. What are you thankful for? It doesn’t have to be something huge, it can be something as simple as I am grateful for my health.’ ‘I am grateful I have a career, work to go to’, ‘I am grateful I woke up this morning.’

‘Be happy with what you have and are, be generous with both, and you wont have to hunt for happiness.’ William E. Gladstone

So simple. What we focus on grows.

I absolutely adore reading and whilst some self-help books are merely thoughts that cannot be applied into daily living, some contain powerful tools that teach you to challenge your thought process, which is naturally prone to negative thinking/self protection.

When I am feeling less than happy, {and that’s perfectly ok to, be at peace with your emotions} I use some of my own personal SOS {really should be Save my Soul, SMS} tools.

‘I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by pur circumstance but by our disposition.’ Martha Washington

1. Sit & just breathe.

Notice where and how you are breathing in times of distress; short and shallow. Just take a moment be still and breathe in for the count of 4, retain and then release for the same count, retain. Repeat x 10. There is no better magic cure for your body, your mind and your whole Central nervous system then to breathe deeply.

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2. Make a phonecall to someone who makes me feel good.

This is what friends and family are for. Sadness, depression, anxiety, anger or upset are not signs of weakness, don’t be afraid to reach out to someone for a little love. I sometimes send out a little love note to my friends, the people I truly care about…by giving love, I get love (their replies).

3. Take a break from Social Media.

I’m sure you feel me on this one…there is nothing that can bring you down faster than social media ‘stalking’, ‘research; whatever you prefer to call it. All of a sudden I find myself on the guy I’m crushing’s ex girlfriends page from 3 years ago, reading comments and deciding that they must still be in love? Hmm, not quite sure that is productive for me or a potential relationship. Or, I find myself seeing numerous new ‘competitors’, or businesses of a similar nature to mine, people who I thought were friends/acquaintances to some level, using the EXACT same ingredients in their product?! Does this create a good feeling? No.

4. Listen to my self love song {on repeat} Mariah Carey; Hero. Eva Cassidy; Time after time, or True Colours.

#nojudgement.

But if we talk to ourselves at a rate of 50 words per minute, 3000 per hr (Excerpt Authentic Success)…why not get some self love, strong, inspiring words?

‘Theres a hero, if you look inside your heart, you don’t have to be afraid of what you are.

Theres an answer, if you reach into your soul and the sorrow that you know will melt away.

And then a hero comes along with the strength to carry on, and you cast your fears aside and you know you can survive, so when you feel like hope is gone, look inside you and be strong and you’ll finally see the truth that a hero lies in you. 

{oh yes, love, love. And believe me when I say, Ive listened to this more times than I can remember and even reading the words creates a warm feeling in my heart}

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5. Just go to the gym.

Exercise creates endorphins, your internal feel good drugs. I know sometimes I just dont feel like going…it can take me an hr to get there after pro level procrastination, but when I’m there… happiness, or just a general sense of feeling good.

6. Do something business wise I don’t really want to do.

I know the sense of achievement will boost my spirits and Ill feel a sense of pride in being able to do the work I may not want to do.

7. Write.

I still keep a journal of my inner most thoughts, including the things I have written about my dark days, the days when Ive felt on top of the world, and some  of the things I have wanted to express to people who have hurt me. Writing is expression.

8. Just go to bed.

Now the difference is learning when you really need this; rest {I suffered depression and spent days being unable to get out}, or when you are just trying to escape something.

‘Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions.’ Dalai Lama

These are some of my little ‘Help me’ tools. Find what works for you. The ocean, running, surfing…create your own ‘happiness cultivation tools’ and have them on speed dial.

So, no I’m not happy all the time, but I am ok. I know that life will have its highs and its lows. I know that some people will love me, and some wont even bother to reply to a text message…and this is ok. I know that Ill have friends forever, and some for a short time. I know that in business, I will make mistakes and I will kick goals. This is all ok.

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And its all good, because I’ve got my own back {and I know the universe does}.

Love & light, Charlie x.

‘Lord knows that dreams are hard to follow, but dont let anyone tear them away’

 

Self Love Sunday…Make decisions.

Self love Sunday…sometimes there really is nothing better than a sleep in, a book and a coffee {perhaps cuddles would conclude perfection}.

Today, I wanted to write about the power of making decisions. Of loving yourself, trusting yourself enough to be able to make decisions effectively and know that they are the best for you.

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‘First say to yourself what you would be, and then do what you have to do’ Epicteteus

Because, most of the time we feel anxiety, unstable or insecure it’s because we are unsure about something; were to busy wondering ‘what if’, over thinking, over analysing, to actually enjoy the present moment, the now.

“Decision is the spark that ignites action. Until a decision is made, nothing happens…. Decision is the courageous facing of issues, knowing that if they are not faced, problems will remain forever unanswered.” Wilfred A. Peterson

Last year after I felt that Yoga changed my life, I decided I wanted to become a Yoga Instructor, in fact it was on my goal list for this year to study in India, in the Himalayas. Unfortunately due to unpredicted #ball {Clean Treat} success, I wasnt able to take 4 weeks away.

Just the other week I got the opportunity to study Pilates, a 5 day class to gain certification to teach. The timing & pricing were right, and I felt it would be a perfect prelude to the Yoga study I still want to do, a perfect addition to my wellness seminars.

Yesterday, I went to my first class, but something didn’t feel quite right. You know when your heart just isn’t in it? I wasnt focused, didn’t feel like I was being attentive, retaining any information and spent most of the time dreaming about my secret BIG dream project Im working on (for Clean Treats).

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I decided to trust this feeling.

I contemplated the pros and cons, sure I wanted to do it, I still do and  it will be great to add to my growing resume, but is it right for me right now? No. Was it simply a self-limiting distraction/option? Yes (taking my focus away from the substantial risk I may be about to take).

Decision made. Relief felt. Focus restored.

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‘In any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing’ Theodore Roosevelt

I had an ex come into my life and declare his undying, unconditional love, promises of marriage & kids (yes, I do wear my heart on my sleeve and I cannot wait to find someone to truly love and create my own family). Yet when we spoke the past was always brought up and I realised it always would be). I had to ask myself if I wanted to be reminded of that person I was (who I didnt and don’t like very much), was this love real, or was it the thought of that romantic love story, that true love will always concur everything?

I decided it was the thought. So I decided to be grateful for the words, but made the decision to firmly close the door behind us by taking myself off his option list (he is about to be married). I am not that person and I refuse to be reminded of who I was, my actions, and live in the past.

Decision made. I let him go with love and felt my heart smile.

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‘Follow your heart and make it your decision.’ Mia Hamm

Also recently (yes an emotionally, heart-felt month for me), I fell in ‘Like/lust/want/desire/perhaps love’ with someone who I hadn’t actually met. Non stop messages, texts with loaded emotional meaning, excitement beyond words, phone calls with cute giggles. I actually (silly of me) thought he might be the one. Then we met and I knew his heart wasnt in it. So I let go.

Decision made. Simple.

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‘Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.’ Ralph Waldo Emerson

Decision making can be scary, I mean most of the time were so scared of making the wrong decision we aren’t actually focused on the right decisions, what we know within us feels right.

But what does it really matter if we make a decision and its the wrong one? Of course it doesnt. THIS IS LIFE.

Every single day I am sill making mistakes, some financially expensive, some emotionally expensive, but for all of them I’m grateful, for how else would I learn? Just make the decision to understand it, act, then let it go, then move on.

Truth is you can’t be everything, to everyone…so be everything you dream of becoming and want to be…for you.

‘First seek to understand, then to be understood.’

Everyday I talk about creating self-love thoughts, being able to say ‘I love you’ in the mirror, consciously choosing healthy food, choosing happy thoughts, exercising and treating people with respect. Because every time you do these actions, every day, it’s an act of self-love, and do you know one of the most beautiful things about love…it grows. It gets stronger and stronger. So the more you cultivate self-love, the easier the difficult times in life will be.

I’m not saying that because Ive found a sense of being ok with who I am that my life is easy, but what I am saying is that when I feel emotionally disrupted, unwanted or unloved by someone, these feelings are only fleeting because I have created the self love/care habits that I can action to bounce right back.

Love & light, Charlie x.

Have trust, what is meant for you will be. Dont be scared to say no, to anything less than you deserve.

Pretty excited I now have 4 whole days that I had dedicated to my Pilates course to invest in my master plan… oh and my new website {#finally!!!}

 

Integrity; a pretty quality

Integrity, such a powerful word, yet not many know the true meaning.

Integrity: {noun}

The quality of being honest and having strong moral principles; moral uprightness.

‘Real integrity is doing the right thing, knowing that nobody’s going to know whether you did or not’. Oprah Winfrey

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I have chosen to focus my intentions on acting with integrity.

Being who I say I am, doing what I say Ill do.

Integrity is having ethics; morals and being trustworthy. Doing exactly what you say you will, when you say you will and  living a life exactly as you say you do. Basically, practising what you preach.

If you follow me & my journey, I am a do-er, I make my mind up about something and just get it done (and figure the logistics out later, I have researched this ‘just do it’ trait and apparently its good for entrepreneurs, thankfully), Im a hopeless romantic (I choose to believe the words I hear & that everyone is truly ‘good’), and I also suffer depression/self sabotage (yes, my days are very interesting!).

‘Have the courage to say no. Have the courage to face the truth. Do the right thing because it is right. These are the magic keys to living your life with integrity’. W. Clement Stone

I use alot of powerful quotes everyday, romantic poems & invest my time reading in physiology, because it intrigues me as I only want to be a better person, for myself and those around me (one day my own family), yet on several occasions I find myself acting with my emotions even though I have the best intentions, speaking words that shouldnt be said and over analysing/acting with fear, hurt & ego.

For these reasons I am choosing to actively focus on this quality that few really possess; Integrity.

I want to be a woman of my word. That does not mean Im perfect, or I ever will be, it simply means that I will actively try to focus my intention on being as good as I say I am. On actively acting with integrity, not fear, hurt, anger.

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Thought: If you were as valuable as your word, how valuable would you be?

‘Be impeccable with your word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love. ‘ Miguel Angel Ruiz

If you want to live a life with happiness; it is essential to act with integrity. To speak and live your truth. (Why I classified it a ‘ pretty’ quality).

Integrity means to honour your word. Can people trust you? Are you responsible? Reliable? Integrity as a quality means that you do the right thing and people find you trustworthy and reliable (important characteristics for any relationship/lovers or friends) . Integrity means that you are honest, about yourself, everything that you are, who you want to be,  and who you have been.

Be true to you…

What are your morals? What do you believe in (Respect, honesty, trust)?  To truly act with integrity you must know what your morals are.

Do you believe in treating people with respect yet are disrespectful to those around you?

Do you always say you will do something, that never seems to get done? Do you always commit yet never seem to follow through? (We are all guilty of this, especially via social media)

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Integrity is about being true to yourself, to who you are, knowing what you belive in and acting it out everyday.

‘The foundation stones for a balanced success are honesty, character, integrity, faith, love and loyalty. ‘Zig Ziglar’

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For some us, we are still on the journey to discovering our true selves…(there is no rush it can be a life long beautiful journey). If you are unsure about your morals and ethics take some time, on your own, and reflect, what do you believe in? Once you know what it is that you believe in, what you desire from life, the person you want to be, you can consciously act with integrity every day.

‘Nothing is at last sacred but the integrity of your own mind. ‘Ralph Waldo Emerson

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The more I am focusing on acting with integrity, the stronger relationships I am building and the better  my life is becoming.  If I say I will do something, I will (reliability). If I’m unsure that I can, I will say so (honesty).

Be honest with those around you, its much better then over committing and being  a disappointment.

Love & light, Charlie x.

Everyday do something that makes you a better person, you are your only competition, just be better than yesterday 🙂


 

 

 

 

Monday Motivation…Jackie Dunn {Fire and Shine}

Monday!!! Hello. I am ready for you with open arms, an open heart and a ‘lets kick ass’ attitude.

As times change, I have found that business is about you. You are your brand. People will purchase from you, and support you if they like YOU. Your passion, your drive, your beliefs.

“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.” Mahatma Gandhi

Today feature is the beautiful team from Fire and Shine, ethical fitness and yoga wear, who both have a deep burning passion that you can just feel.

Business, its about surrounding yourself with people who inspire you and sharing love.

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You have created a rapidly growing business; Fire and Shine/ethical fitness fashion, what do you attribute this success to? 

Jane and I are very passionate about ethically made activewear and have been fortunate to have partnered with some amazing brands who also have the same values. We want to make it easy for people to do some good and feel like they are making a difference to the world we live in.

When did you decide to you wanted to be involved in the health industry?

Jane and I met at Yoga Teacher training 4 years ago and our journey will never end with our practice. We both had active lives before yoga teacher training with Jane being a triathlete and me doing boxing, personal and weight training. We have been grateful for the health and wellness people we have met and to those people we will meet on our journey.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be?”  Marianne Williamson

When did you decide you wanted to work for yourself? 

We both have always had the thought of having our own businesses, it just so happened that 1 year ago the idea developed to start Fire and Shine.

“Hope is the thing with feathers That perches in the soul And sings the tune without the words And never stops at all.” Emily Dickinson

How do you feel as an inspirational figure/mentor?

It’s very humbling and we are grateful that we are seen as mentors and are inspiring people to follow their passions and dreams.

Has there been any challenges along your journey?

Oh where do we start! Yes, we like to call them opportunities and Jane and I enjoy being able to make decisions and feel empowered to drive our business. Our biggest challenge is ensuring we have a positive work life balance.

“Simplicity, patience, compassion. These three are your greatest treasures. Simple in actions and thoughts, you return to the source of being. Patient with both friends and enemies, you accord with the way things are. Compassionate toward yourself, you reconcile all beings in the world.” | Lao Tzu, Tao Te Ching

How do you maintain balance between your Career and personal health?

We both always make time for our yoga practice. Meditation and breath work is also part of finding the balance. Being active is part of our routine and we make time for it every day.

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What do you believe are the keys to success in business?

Believe in what you are doing, find something you are passionate about and find other like-minded people to talk to about it, celebrate the wins – no matter how small they are!, be grateful for whoever and whatever crosses your path, the universe has delivered it for a reason.

What is your advice for anyone who has a dream? 

Don’t let anyone ever tell you that it can’t be done, manifest abundance.

‘Be brave enough to live life creatively. The creative place where no one else has ever been.’ Alan Alda
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Top 3 healthy tips/advice?

– remember to breathe in all situations

– start the day with lemon/lime in warm water
– coconut oil is the best thing in the pantry!

Share something no one knows… 

Jackie: I used to play the violin and considered going to the Conservatorium of Music, I love singing in the shower

Jane:  Played the part of Sandy in my Primary School’s  Musical ‘Grease’…. What’s even funnier is that I went to a country Primary School with only 15 students in total, with 2 girls and 1 boy in year seven, so I was a 50/50 chance of getting the part…. I was REALLY bad!!!
I sincerely thank Jackie for her time.
Be sure to visit the Fire and Shine website for hot fitness trends and healthy inspiration.
Instagram @fireandshine
Because we believe in sharing love…
WIN a $100 Fire and Shine voucher and a $50 gift pack of Clean Treats aka #charliesballs
Simply repost this image on your Instagram page, tag @fireandshine & @charliedehaas to enter.
*Entires close Weds 27/8 12 pm.
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Love & light, Charlie x.
When you begin to believe in the beauty of your dreams, other people will believe in you to.