Depression…what is it? My personal experience.

I will tell you.

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Depression is:

Being encompassed by a darkness that allows you to see no light, no matter how much beauty is in your life.

Depression is emotionless.

Depression is a feeling of hopelessness.

Depression is feeling alone. Disconnected in a world of connection.

Depression numbs your senses, robs you of joy, of happiness, of motivation and instead of being grateful for the life that you live (which does always have its beauty) you can barely understand the point of life, or comprehend the purpose of living.

Depression kicks you down even when you want to get up {and its a strong f&*ker, believe me I know}.

Depression is when you feel like youve lost hope, you contemplate why are you are doing all the things you are doing and getting nowhere, when you start to question the very essence of the being that you are.

Tears flow for no reason at all, and often (sometimes you can actually just make a small smile having a giggle at your self being all emotional for no reason, because its OK to cry).

Depression; it feels like the weight of the world is on your shoulders and there is no one to help you.

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Life is not all sunshine & rainbows (thanks Rocky).

Im one of the first to admit that I suffer depression and it freaking sucks.

‘Depression begins with disappointment. When disappointment festers in our soul, it leads to discouragements.’ Joyce Meyer

Sometimes there can be no trigger, sometimes there can be many.

For me, as I build my life around love, my brand about helping other people, when I am let down or disappointed by people I start to lose a little faith in humanity. One of my business beliefs is first help other people get what they want, and then you will get what you want (Zig Ziglar quote) & #sharelove; give more love everyday. Yet, when I get hurt I often feel that I have no love left to give…this is the start of a depression cycle for me. Contemplating when & if ever I will receive love (when Im not depressed I know Im blessed), and have people in my life that truly care (not just in the social media world).

The thing with depression, is that you cannot control it.

But you can create self love tools to minimise the time spent in the darkness.

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What I have found helps me, and Im no expert, simply sharing techniques that help me minimise my own stormy weather;

*Know that it will pass. The darkness will let you appreciate the light, and with every sunset there is always a sunrise.

*Be patient. Just do what needs to be done in your daily life, just get it done. Sometimes thats all you can do. You can be a world & game changer tomorrow when you feel better.

*Take some time out. Im not saying wallow in yourself, but if you feel like it’s all getting too much, have a half hr rest, maybe don’t go to the gym and go to bed early, get ten hrs sleep. Go and sit, and just be somewhere, still. We live in a world of ‘busy’, we work so hard until we actually fall apart or have a complete meltdown. Try get 8hrs sleep EVERY night.

If your laying in bed, wrapped up in terrible thoughts; go to sleep. AND GET OFF SOCIAL MEDIA.

*Fill your body with nutrients. Speaking from experience, Ive often used my down times to reach for junk food, binge eating until I feel 100% worse than what I already was feeling, using my emotions as an excuse. Learn this lesson. Instead, know that your body is needing some extra love, get a green smoothie, a rainbow salad, green juices.

‘If you dont think your anxiety, depression, sadness and stress impact your physical health, think again. All of these emotions trigger chemical reactions in your body, which can lead to inflammation and a weakened immune system. Learn how to cope, sweet friend. there will always be dark days.’ Kris Carr

*Minimise caffeine (note to self). Caffeine will only provoke the anxiety that your already feeling, instead try switch to chamomile tea or at least green tea (minimal caffeine).

*Write. Get it out of your mind. I know when I’m depressed, being the control freak that I am I try to figure out whats going on, what I need to do, over-analyse (everything, yes even texts and social media likes), and try to organise myself, free from the clutter that all seems a blur in my mind. This can do my own head in MORE. Writing helps get it out.

If it hurts to keep everything inside, get it out. What I have found with my depression is I generally extract myself further from anyone close to me, another few bricks go on my already well-built wall and I don’t feel comfortable letting someone close enough to speak to; fear of judgement, sure. Writing is my answer. Speaking to someone might be yours. THERE IS STRENGTH IN WEAKNESS.

‘The deepest fear we have, ‘the fear beneath all fears,’ is the fear of not measuring up, the fear of judgement. Its this fear that creates the stress and depression of everyday life.’ Tillian Tchividjian

I feel: write your own (disappointed)

What situation occurred to make me feel this way: write your own (I didn’t get what I wanted)

What I’m really feeling/thinking: write your own (my dream will never become reality, why am I even trying? Ill never be good enough)

Thought change: write your own (This is my life, my dream and I can make it happen. Where there is a will there is a way. I can process these emotions and then move forward, value the lesson learnt and look for new opportunities).

And with that let it go. If you can. Or just go to bed and rest. AND TRUST THAT YOU ARE BLESSED: THE UNIVERSE HAS YOUR BACK.

*Dont focus on the thoughts. When we are depressed we tend to think things that are not even true; I’m not lovable, I will never make it, Im hopeless, Im a failure, Ill never be good enough etc. These are not true statements at all, yet depression leads us to believe them, and with the thoughts follows emotions, sadness, loneliness…etc.

Just say ok. Im feeling (insert your word here) anger, hurt, frustrated. And then let it go. It will pass.

*STOP with the negative action. If your re reading someones messages, replaying someones words, actions, and it causes you to hurt. STOP. Just delete (yes the delete button is ok to use). If you are over eating that causes you to hurt/feel worse, STOP. If you turn to self-destructive alcohol or drugs, STOP. After all of these self sabotage practices we ALWAYS feel worse, so try give yourself a break (and yes, I am well aware as I write this Im speaking to myself).

*Earth. Have you heard about this? Earthing is when you walk barefoot with nature. Take some time to just BE.

‘Basically, the theory is that our bodies are meant to come into contact with the Earth (a “grounding” force) on a regular basis. Positive electrons in the form of free radicals (ever heard of those guys?) can build up in our bodies and direct contact with the ground balances this out as it is a negative grounding charge.’

Our bodies and cells have electrical energy, and especially with the high prevalence of Electromagnetic waves, Wi-Fi and mobile phone waves, many of us have a high amount of positive electrons built up in our bodies.’ Excerpt Wellnessmama.com

Interested? Read this: Earthing: The Most Important Health Discovery Ever

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*Breathe. As funny as it sounds, we all to often we forget to really breathe. Notice your breathing right now, in this moment, shallow, just filling the top of your chest, fast, small, rapid. Breathing is the best way to calm your central nervous system so just take a moment and practice a breathing technique I use often from Deepak Chopra. For the count of 1, 2, 3, 4 breathe in, retain your breathe at the top of your inhalation. Then for the count of 1, 2 , 3, 4 exhale and retain at the base. Repeat x10. Youll soon feel a sense of calm.

“Maybe you have to know the darkness before you can appreciate the light.” Madeleine L’Engle

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My words to you, and to myself, is that when you are feeling this way, just know that its ok. Dont beat yourself up about not being 110% motivated, chasing after your dream or having the best day ever. Just do what needs to be done, be gentle, kind and loving with yourself. Rest. Push the PAUSE button. Retract from anyone that makes you feel bad…perhaps (and I am trying to do this) minimise your time spent on social media and just read, write, listen to music, be still.

Love & light, Charlie x.

Know that because you have a bad day does not make it a bad life.

Be happy… NOW (not when you…)

 

Take a moment to stop and think..are you happy? Yes, no? Or are you a ‘when I’, or ‘when this happens’ Ill be happy?

Sorry to rock your world beautiful one but if you arent happy today with what you have right now in this exact moment…you wont be happy when you get those abs, that white range (yup thats on my own goal board), the hot hubby (yup, hes on there to) or whatever your ‘it’ might be.

Because your goals will always change and life will always happen. Things dont go to plan, and no matter how organised or proactive you might be…life will change. That guy that you adore, might not reciprocate your feelings. That promotion might be given to someone else. Etc, etc. What is meant for you will be.

You have to trust this, whilst working for all that you dream of, but being here today, present and grateful.

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Happiness…what is it even?

Material things; that promotion, that house, $$$, do not guarantee happiness.

Yet we claim these as symbols of success, and success to be happiness.

‘Everyone chases after happiness, not noticing that happiness is at their heels’ Bertolt Brecht

We use our ‘busyness’ as a sign of success; the busier we are the more important/successful we think we are.

Success, derived from the Latin succedere, means ‘to go on well’. Surely this would imply that success is a journey?

We {myself included} wake up with thoughts of ‘just do it’, ‘you can have it all’, ‘make it happen’, now Im not saying these are not good thoughts, but what is your ‘it’? What is ‘it’ that you are striving for.

Is it material? Or is it to inspire? Is it to love more? Emotional/spiritual goals? Are you looking for something/someone to complete you? Because the truth is, everything that you are looking for is right inside of you. And your happiness can be found in this moment.

Happiness is not an ‘it’ and the more you chase ‘it’ the more difficult it will become to achieve.

‘If your definition of success has little or no measure of love in it, get another definition’.

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Tell me, if you were to go to sleep every night content and happy…is this success?

We often read bibliographies of great men, who upon their last words wished they had made more time for the things that mattered; their family, their wife…their loved ones. See, they’ve realised, just a little to late,  that love is what it is all about. At the end of the day.

Everyday.

It all comes down to love.

‘The intelligent man quickly realize the importance of gold’ Hafiz

What is really important to you?

If love is important, how can you have more love in your life today?

If happiness is important, how can you be happier today?

If health is important, how can you be healthier today?

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Be present now. Whilst yes, I am a dreamer and I have BIG plans, when I find myself daydreaming {this includes interior designing & launch party invite creations of my 5 year goal/The Clean Treats Factory} I have to make a conscious effort to return to the moment, to today. Because if I don’t, If I spend my time to far in the clouds, to far in the ‘when I’ thoughts, the things that actually need to be done to make this dream come true, wont be.

Do you do what you love everyday?

Do you smile with someone everyday?

Do you exercise, eat healthy, treat your body with respect everyday? (If your anything like me I know for a fact that eating well can be felt as happiness within my body).

These are moments of success.

‘Dont aim for success if you want it; just do what you love and believe in, and it will come naturally.’ David Frost.

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{I am so blessed to receive such kind words like the above, truly makes my heart smile, and keeps me going when those not so great things happen, as they do in business, love, life.}

It is a proven fact that happier people are more productive. So saying something like ‘I am happy with my work’ will generate a positive outcome. Saying something like’ I hate work’ wont.

If today you can just be a little better than yesterday, your already on your way to creating your own dream reality.

‘Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm. Winston Churchill.

Even the above quote states that success is to keep going. If you ask me about business, happiness or love {not that I know a whole lot, I make mistakes everyday, but I am trying}, my words to you, to anyone would be to find what makes you happy, believe in yourself and never quit, and just blimmin enjoy it. Laugh, cry, scream, go to bed and then get the f&8k back up and get shit done.

Love & light, Charlie x.

Love right now. No matter where you are in your life, or what is happening, you are exactly where you should be & everything will always be ok.

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Happiest girls, are the prettiest girls.

The famous quote by Audrey Hepburn.

And it is so true.

Have you ever met someone and truly felt their beauty? Felt a sense of ”wow” or a pure sense of happiness in their presence? You know those people that make your heart smile, you just know theyve got ‘it’ together.

Regardless of outward attractiveness, you felt a sense of warmth, radiance in their presence? What is it about these people (girls & guys) that exudes confidence and breeds positivity that it makes you want to be around them? You may know someone like this, people who just leave you feeling ‘happy’.

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The answer, I believe, is, self-love and self-trust. These people have a resounding knowledge within them that no matter what happens, what events might occur in the near future, that they will always be ok, that their life will always go on. Knowing these things gives them confidence. A self-assurance that is portrayed to everyone they meet, the manner they act and the way that they speak. They gold within them a sense of appreciation, not only of themselves, but for you, the time it takes to meet and the very presence of now.

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There is an inner kindness about these girls (and guys) that shines from within them, and it occurs naturally. They just want to be nice. To be kind. To give.

If you want to cultivate love, kindness, giving in your life, first you need to have it to be able to give it away. Many of the most successful writers, philosophers and leaders say if you want more of something, first you have to give it away.

There are some common attributes these pretty people have…why not take some time and develop your own inner beauty?

Spend time loving yourself, develop the ‘pretty’ qualities:

Integrity: Always do what you say you will. If you were only as good as your word, how good would you be??? There is nothing that frustrates and aggravates people more than failing to follow through a spoken word, your promise. If you don’t mean it, don’t say it. But do say what you mean and mean what you do. Be who you are, and stop pretending to be someone else.

Kindness: There is always time to be kind. The little things matter. Smile, be polite, be patient. Treat people how you want to be treated. Its the small things that matter, Mother Theresa said not all of us can do great things, but we can do small thigns with great love. Hold open a door for someone, say please and thank you. As a society we are losing touch with our morals, our moral compasses seem to be getting a little interfered with with todays technology.

‘My religion is simple, my religion is kindness’ Buddha

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Gratitude: Always appreciate what you are lucky enough to have in your life for you never know when it will be too late. Miss someone; contact them, love someone; tell them, appreciate someone; say thank you. Don’t let your pride hold you back. Words are easy to say, and appreciated when they are not only expressed but felt. Accept that sometimes you are wrong, that you make mistakes. Apologise, let go and move on.

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Patience: Practice patience with people.

The capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset.

Something we all need to work on. Let go of judgement. Practice compassion and understanding with people.

Respect: Develop compassion for everyone you meet. Genuine respect and compassion does not include looking down on others, it means understanding that we are all searching for happiness and  have the right to be happy by overcoming life’s obstacles. Treat everyone you meet in a respectful manner, and be slow to judge. After all, who are you to give someone judgment?

Belief: Always make time to be true to yourself, to your passion, your life’s journey. When you find what is right for you, you will know. You will feel it. Have faith and trust that what is meant to be will be. You are exactly where you should be, doing what you should.

‘Nothing is impossible, the word itself says IMpossible’ Audrey Hepburn

Practice the pretty qualities daily and soon you will be shining from within.

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To leave you with my absolute favourite quote:

‘For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others. for beautiful lips, speak only words of kindness. and for poise, walk with the knowledge that you are never alone’ Audrey Hepburn

Do something different today.

Love & Light, Charlie x.

 

Keeping up with the ‘movers’; the new age Joneses.

Take a look around you and check out the world you live in.You know the saying ‘you are a product of your environment’…or as good as the 5 people you surround yourself with.

‘To all the other dreamers out there, dont ever stop or let the worlds negativity disenchant you or your spirit. If you surround yourself with love and the right people, anything is possible.’ Adam Green.

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What I find interesting is that Im my world I’ve somehow created a world of #boss people, entrepreneurs, dreamers…owners of their own passion and businesses.

 

‘The best thing to do when you find yourself in a hurting or vulnerable place is to surround yourself with the strongest, fnest, most positive people you know.’ Kristin Armstrong

Wow…when I think of this, yes I am very lucky. And I feel it, to have people who are in my world that a coffee meeting is a bounce meeting…sharing knowledge contacts and creating what I call collab Magic, that I can call and say ‘hey..I need your help, or what do you think about this?’ And honestly most of these people are much more accomplished and successful than me, further along in their secure businesses or more talented in their chosen fields.  

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Now, I’m not sure if it’s the rat race called Sydney that I live in or if it’s just me but there also seems to be a downside to this…the new age ‘keeping up with the joneses’. From what I believe the ‘Joneses’ was all about the material things that created status like the Range Rover, the designer handbag, the house on the water. It probably still is. But I’m taking about a term ‘keeping up with the movers’…because my gosh they do move. These people are the dreamers, the believers, the movers and the shakers…even though I consider myself to be part of this world Id definitely say they shake me up!

We’re creating a culture that is based in a social media world that IS NOT REALITY, it is a perception of a life that person wants you to see to create a relevant thought about who you think they are. (No Im not having a go or saying anything negatively). Were taught to speak positively so in the world of social media were all happy every day, living a life we love and creating HUGE success.

Because of the way we share our lives on social media it seems to me that everybody is out their building huge empires (and I must admit I use this term also…you know… think what you want into your reality). What nobody shares is the struggle – and let me tell you the struggle is real.
Every single day you have to wake up and actively create your thoughts changing anything that’s negative to positive. Everyday you have to see mistakes or f*+k ups as opportunities. For me, I have no business partners or romantic partner (probably quite lucky at this stage because he wouldn’t know what Charlie he was coming home to him every night) to lean on or to rely on, or that just have my back. But it does seems iinvestors are the new age dream house, in the same sense of security. Again, I’m not saying I’m against them I’ll definitely be looking for some soon, or maybe…still undecided #controlfreak wink emoji. 

‘Whatever you do in life, surround yourself with smart people who’ll argue with you.’ John Wooden. 

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Anyway…keeping up with greatness…it can take its toll on you. You might recall that I suffer depression and currently have adrenal fatigue so I’m just tired ALLLLLL the time (honestly really irritating me more than anything). As much as I want to go out there and change the world sometimes it can just be ‘to hard’ and a coffee or 2 is my passion substitute.

‘Surround yourself with the right people, and realize your own worth. Honestly, there are enough and people out there in the world – you dont need to be your own worst enemy’ Lucy Hale

 

 

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What I am learning to focus on is being grateful. Grateful that I am lucky enough to have such amazing inspirational leaders in my real world or even the ones on social media. Because yes even when it seems everybody is moving faster than a shooting star to their dreams and it feels like I’m here…revolving around mine like the sun around the earth…everyday they inspire me.
It’s when I act from my ego or a place of fear or my own instilled belief that ‘I’ll never be good enough ‘that I feel all the things that bring me down, make me destructive and definitely not productive. 
I’m also working on limiting my social media because as you probably now, 1 quick check can become an hr and next minute you’ve found ten other businesses in your area that are doing what you do, and their out there passionately chasing their dreams. 

‘You have to surround yourself with people who love you and want the best for you.’ Mena Suvari

 

Stop being afraid to do what you think you can’t do. And just do it. You are good enough. You can do it. You are worthy.

(note to self and to you!).
Love, Charlie x.

 

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The ‘what I want in a man’ list…

So one of the things I spend quite some time discussing aside from my dreams, my business and work is… Love and my lack there of.

 

172“…sometimes I get tired. Sometimes I get bored. And sometimes all I want, more than anything else in the world, is to go on a freaking date.” Kiersten White

I saw a funny quote on Insta ‘Im at that stage where half my friends are getting engaged or having babies and the other half are to drunk to find their phones’ this is me. But I would perhaps change the other from to drunk to find their phones to ‘to focused on their dreams to be seen’.

It’s been said to me many times during this little life of mine that I should create the list.
You know the one Im talking about…the list that lists all the things you want in your perfect man.
And surprisingly a few of the happily married couples I now have done this and highly recommend it. Because apparently how do you know what you want if you dont?

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“Never rearrange your life in order to meet Mr. Darcy half way. If he couldn’t see your worth at the moment you met then he won’t two years later’ Shannon Alder

I don’t have a list. Does this mean I’m confused about what I want? Or does it mean that I realise that the odds of finding my Mr perfect are getting smaller and smaller and Im hoping that love will find the way (without my particularly picky list of requirements I’ve decided I not only want but need in the chosen man)? Is it the fact that I dont have ‘the list’ that I seem to have attract a whole lot of Mr Maybes? Mr Im not sure, Mr facebook booty call message, Mr commitmentphobe.

As I’ve been unsuccessful in love, I would even say failing miserably… I’ve decided to create my list.

Not even sure where to start but I guess one of the first has got to be D R I V E N. Do you know how hard it is to find someone you can have those soul on fire conversations with?! I mean is it too much to ask for someone to understand when you are on deadline or at this stage in the game of my business that there isn’t a lot of structure and Im the be all and end all (not as of next week!! #newstaff #yayyyyyyyy).

‘I love a man with a great sense of humour and who is intelligent – a man who has a great smile. He has to make me laugh. I like a man who is very ambitious and driven and who has a good heart and makes me feel safe. I like a man who is very strong and independent and confident – that is very sexy – but at the same time, hes very kind to people.’ Nicole Scherzinger

 

^^^ This about sums up my list 🙂

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Secondly…someone kind, compassionate. Someone who listens when you talk, who turns their phone off while your on a date (this is one of my personally biggest reason to black X someone), someone who exercises manners.
Being polite and well mannered has become so rare it’s mistaken for flirting (thanks insta quote).

Someone real.
I am so over guys/men saying they want one thing, then go and date the opposite. Why??? Are we settling? Is there anyone left looking for that all-consuming love??? Or are we all just to crazed about being with someone, anyone is better than no one?

‘To be rejected by someone doesn’t mean you should also reject yourself or that you should think of yourself as a lesser person. It doesn’t mean that nobody will ever love you anymore. Remember that only ONE person has rejected you at the moment’ Jocelyn Soriano

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No games. I refuse to play them & you can f^*k off you expect to play them with me, honestly. If you like someone, say so. If you want to go on a date, say so. I’m over the ‘I should wait a few hrs before messaging so he doesn’t think I’m to keen’ the ‘Im busy’, the ‘kinda seeing someone’.
It’s all just a joke to me. And yes I understand most of us have our battle scars and have built ourselves unbreakable shields to protect us, but how will you ever get what you want without building a bridge or mending what was once broken?

“Sometimes it takes a heartbreak to shake us awake & help us see we are worth so much more than we’re settling for.”  Mandy Hale

Obviously fitness is a must and any kind of yoga training is definitely a plus. I believe yoga has changed me and I know that most yogis experience this. 

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Someone who does what they say they will. THIS IS NOT TOO HARD. Call when you say you will. Make plans and keep them. 

‘If hes not calling you, its because your not on his mind.’ Greg Brehendt

A…P A S S I O N A T E | ROMANTIC.
Perhaps this is a lot to ask…wink emoticon.

Someone who believes in magic.

I believe. Do you?

And the rest I’ll add to the list and keep it personal.
I am a big believer that anything we want we can have, with our thoughts. So I’ll write my list (apparently it has to be quite specific down to what he does…does #boss cut it? I love the #boss & #boss = empire ideal. Some websites even recommend 100 attributes) and continue to believe that one day the right man for me will come into my life at the right time.

“I don’t understand dating.. and the other things that people do.. all I know is that you ought to find the one you recognize. The one who gives you four arms, four legs, four eyes, and has the other half of your heart. There’s only one of those, so what are all the other things for? Like dating?”  C. Joybell C

Love, Charlie x.

I’m curious do you have ‘the list’  and has it worked for you?

Self Love Sunday; Invest in yourself

Business is a funny thing, each day you can experience those on top of the world feelings, then the every next moment feel like your struggling to doggy paddle your way to shore, …or some form of safety, sometimes just trying to breathe (not that there is ever safety in business).

Change is good. It’s also often hard. But to succeed in business, you must run toward it.

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For this reason, and as I am making the big leaps to make my business something  real, I decided to invest in a Business Coach. An investment that I felt was priceless.

While I know a bit about business from 10 years as a BDM {Business Development Manager} for leading companies in their respective fields, and managing…its a different world when you’re in your own business. Im currently re-reading the E myth…making the change from a toddler to adolescent business can be scary (and it is!). The most difficult issue being that while once you were everything in your business; the technician, the manager, the entrepreneur, the accountant, the dreamer, the marketing pro, the delivery man, the social media guru and every single thing in between, making the jump to potentially being a BIG business means your taking a leap of faith…not knowing what will happen but only knowing & trusting where you are going.

These are the things I am currently changing in my business world that will ultimately (I believe) progress me towards my BIG dream reality, my vision of making a healthy change in the world.

‘Move out of your comfort zone. You can only grow if you are willing to feel awkward and uncomfortable when you try something new.’ Brian Tracey

 

*Staff….because I can’t keep doing everything, everyday. Now if you don’t know, this itself is a huge investment of time, the interviewing process…I wish I could have some type of lie detector test (I guess this is really only a test of my intuition), people know how to interview today, and your basically opening your heart and soul that you’ve made a business to other people. It’s imeperative they have the passion and drive that you do. For me, one of the Clean Treats values is INTEGRITY. Ad let’s be 200% honest, no one will ever love your business like you do…so honestly…. I am scared.

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‘A dream is your creative vision for your life in the future. You must break out of your comfort zone and become comfortable with the unfamiliar and the unknown.’ Denis Waitley

 

In taking team members on board this also means; contracts, systems, policies and procedure manuals (that I dont have)…structure (that I also dont have a lot of).

NEW PACKAGING…as I write this on a Sunday, I underestimated how much work this would be. The risk…the pressure to get it right (I am also a perfectionist), and really just the need to have it now. Working with designers (this hasnt been my best experience) and printers, trying to make the decisions that will either mean success or failure (even though you can never fail if you dont quit), I should probably say the difference between right and wrong. And theres so many aspects to this. The legalities, the testing of the product, food regulations, display, appeal, marketing…..

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As you move outside of your comfort zone, what was once the unknown and frightening becomes your new normal.’ Robin S. Sharma

 

New Websites for both The Clean Treats Factory & my personal brand.

Ebook & Healthcoaching (I need to focus on this as helping people is my passion).

Secret projects… I cant write too much here, but these are completely new opportunities created with a thought… #collabmagic.

*Inhouse Accountant…its time for me not to waste anytime doing what I can average do and have a pro do what they professionally can.

So with all of the above, and some things being a lot more difficult than I imagined, it was only natural that I had a few tears when meeting with my Business Coach this week… her perfect words to me (and said excitedly) … your out of your comfort zone, this is where the magic happens.

‘Im continually trying to make choices that put me against my comfort zone. As long as your uncomfortable, it means your growing.’ Ashton Kutcher

 

 

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Im SO uncomfortable right now. Her (I’m using Alison Morgan from The Relauncher ) words were a perfect realisation for me. Spoken at the right time, in a little moment of self doubt & pressure. This is exactly the reason I chose to work with her.

A business coach is someone that might have more experience in an industry than you, it might be someone who has more experience with wealth creation, or it could be someone who inspires you… for me, Alison was this.

She gives me homework, so I can’t be ‘to busy’ not to do some of the things I need to do, she lets me know that everything is going to be ok when I feel overwhelmed and out of control, she helps me get all the crazy thoughts that consume out onto paper and helps me make a plan. So instead of doing everything I can until I burn out, we make a strategic plan and timeline so I know whats happening and when and can pause for a moment to catch my breath. I just feel like she has my back.

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You see getting a business coach, isnt admitting your bad at business, but it’s reaching out for help and making an investment in your self and your business because you might be too far in to look perspectively at all the wonder you’re creating (perhaps even the mess you are making). Just like you get a personal trainer for your body, a business coach is an investment you are making in your business, in your desire to be more, to grow and develop, and personally I dont have the business skills I know I will require to take my business where I want it to be. So in the terms of Henry Ford (he was a great man who knew nothing about his industry), build a team around you of people who are experts at what they do, so you can be an expert in what you do (me…Im the dreamer, the lover, the idealist)

‘Adaptability is about the powerful difference between adapting to cope and adapting to win.’ Max McKeown

Another thing…its kind of like a health coach, your basically paying for someone to hold your hand, and when you don’t have a world of business minded people/family/husband/lover, or financial support behind you…that alone is more than priceless.

Love & light, Charlie x.

{look her up, Alison also does skype coaching and I highly recommend her)

Do you jump, or are you dateless?

You know, I use this blog as a way to express myself, to show the world, or anyone who might be interested 😉 my reality, and also as my own way to release my {#crazy} thoughts. And it just so happens, theres people that apparently read them {thank you}.

One of the things my stats show you particularly like, is my ongoing quest to meet my Mr Right & the navigation of this thing that’s called the dating game that seems to be more strategic than a game of chess, with more than 2 players and ridiculously indecipherable.

dating24Something that Ive been thinking alot about, is how some people are permanently ‘in’ relationships’ (with different people) you know the ones, fb status change to in and out of relationships faster than the styles in season change.

I call these people jumpers (I used to date one, he couldnt be alone for a moment so would ‘jump’ from person to person).

Then there’s the people, like myself and others I know…that cant even seem to find a date, I call these the dateless (Oh my, labelling myself lol).

What is the difference??? And as always I dont believe any way is right or wrong, Im just intrigued. AndI know both men & women who are in both of these categories.

The jumpers…how can they fall in love so quickly, when their heart has apparently just been obliterated into pieces? Does this happen before the end of a relationship? Is it the facebook messages, the secret Instagram emojis that signal the start of something?

“We’re not dating,” Alec said again.
“Oh?” Magnus said. “So you’re just that friendly with everybody, is that it?” City of Ashes

Are the ‘jumpers’ so used to being  in a relationship they must have someone there…is it always love or is it merely comfort? Or is it that they are less selfless than the dateless (lol, just makes me laugh because its sadly true Im in this category!), that being in a relationship with them is easier for their new love? Do they have ‘relationship’ written on them? (this I definitely dont agree to).

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“Hope for love, pray for love, wish for love, dream for love…but don’t put your life on hold waiting for love.” Mandy Hale
As for the dateless…these are people who I know, and you know them to, that are genuinely great people, yet cant even find the beginning of a spark. Now, the majority of these people I know, both men and woman are independent and they generally have their own business. Is it a case then that our businesses have consumed us? Do our babies (because lets be real, a business is your baby) use our passion, our love, our energy? Or do they make us seem self centered when we cancel plans because we have to work…. selfish because we would rather invest our time working than try a first date as from previous experience the work has a guaranteed success rate compared to the dates? (My experiences)

What is the missing key?

Are some people settling just to be with someone? Is that the jumpers key to success? (although I wouldn’t say success with most of these people in and out of fast short lived relationships). Is it that we are taught not to settle for less than we deserve??? So as we gain strength and business success we naturally lift our expectations? And yes, expectations are the first key to disappointment. But is it to much to ask for that all consuming love. That magic. You hear about it… (it seems elusive), that ‘knowing’.

“To say that one waits a lifetime for his soulmate to come around is a paradox. People eventually get sick of waiting, take a chance on someone, and by the art of commitment become soulmates, which takes a lifetime to perfect.” Criss Jami

Or is it, that like me, were old school romantics, preferring to be asked on a date, rather than a Facebook message saying your hot, or even worse…lets watch a ‘movie’ (Im sure everyone knows by know what ‘movie’ means). Is it too much to ask for effort? To not play games and just to be honest?

Im just so confused. And I dont want to play the dating game…but not playing is also getting me nowhere (LOL) how is a girl/or guy to win?

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“Here’s something else to think about: calling when you say you’re going to is the very first brick in the house you are building of love and trust. If he can’t lay this one stupid brick down, you ain’t never gonna have a house baby, and it’s cold outside.” 
Are the jumpers so accustomed to be with somebody, anybody is better than nobody? And the dateless…are they so set in their ways now, that it seems nearly impossible to make time & space for new love?

The answer…as always who knows, I definitely dont.

But what I do know, is that I will refuse to settle.

Love & light, Charlie x.

(The below is me, here waiting for a miracle 😉

 

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“Let’s start with this statistic: You are delicious. Be brave, my sweet. I know you can get lonely. I know you can crave companionship and sex and love so badly that it physically hurts. But I truly believe that the only way you can find out that there’s something better out there is to first believe there’s something better out there. What other choice is there?” Greg Behrendt

Pay it Forward

Today is Pay it Forward day…

‘My religion is simple, my religion is kindness’ Dalai Lama

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A day where we should be giving someone some love, helping someone or doing a kind deed (really should be every day I think).

‘Your greatness is measured by your kindness; your education and intellect by your modesty; your ignorance is betrayed by your suspicions nad prejudices, and your real calibre is measured by the consideration and tolerance you have for others’ William J.H. Boetcker

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Why?

Have you ever had someone open a door for you when your hands are full? Had a random stranger compliment you (I still remmeber the day I was in a chemist waiting for a meeting and a kind elderly woman complimented my outfit and my composure…5 years ago)? Ever received a gift from someone unexpectedly? Perhaps even had someone let you in traffic? (Kindness doesnt have to be grandeur)

How did you feel? These are the little things (they dont have to cost a crazy amount, or anything at all) that can make a difference.

‘Unexpected kindness is the most powerful, least costly, and most underrated agent of human change.’ Bob Kerrey 

I know personally, they create a feeling of ‘good’, of peace, of connection with the world, hope, possibility and kindness. That there are good people in the world afterall. That life isnt about whats happening tomorrow, what your eating for your next meal…life is about being a good human and sharing your passion and purpose with as many people as you can.

Leave people better than they were after they have talked with you. We need to re connect, to listen, to show compassion for one another, otherwise well all be here chasing instagram likes, the latest designer outfits, more fake face plumping and left wondering why we arent actually happy?

 

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When was the last time you shared love? Complimented someone, let someone have the seat on the bus, helped someone with their boxes/bags (honestly every day Im weighed down with stock, struggling to open doors, and no men ever offer to help?! (maybe I’m not wearing enough makeup on those days, sad but true).

Then theres other days, like recently when Ive been at events (with my #balls of course) and someone hasnt had quite enough $$$ to buy a pack, so the kind lovely person next to her, purchased them and gave them to her… heartmelt moment (I then also put extra in her pack as a thank you/your too kind).

‘We think too much and feel too little. More than machinery, we need humanity. More than cleverness, we need kindness and gentleness’ Charlie Chaplin 

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So today fo Pay it Forward day…do something good…for someone…anyone, regardless if you know them or not. In fact it’s always a pleasant surprise when its a stranger.

Send some one  a love letter, send a message of love to the world.

Speak to the person at the supermarket, smile at the young girl who serves you coffee…make small talk about the weather, say please, and thank you, ‘have a good day’…these are the small things that we are losing in our fast paced world, the things that matter. That connect us.

I also know that when kindness has been given/shown to me…I then feel good about myself and continue to share this with the people I go on to connect with. An attitude of gratitude is the key to happiness.

‘You can have everything you want in life if you just help enough people get what they want in life’ Zig Ziglar

{This is my personal mantra nad belief for my business and my life}

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What will you do today to make someones day a little brighter?

Love, Charlie x.

So, so grateful beyond words that my project is nearly at 50%…if you would like to share love with me…and pre order my new #balls, check out my campaign:

http://www.pozible.com/project/190510

An evening with a Sexpert.

What is a sexpert?

Well just this week I spent an evening with one, Juliet Allen as part of the Daily Guru, Self love Series.

The topic of the night; Reconnecting with yourself – The Feminine & the Sexy.

What can I say, I was excited. I was unsure of course what type of things we would be discussing especially as Juliet started her talk with ‘sometimes Im told Im to raunchy/explicit, and sometimes Im told IM not enough’.

I presume everyones assumption of ‘raunchy’ is different, and I believe that is the key core message that Juliet got across.

So to reconnect with your feminine and be the sexy sensual goddess you are, it takes 7 steps.

‘She is a woman who radiates light. She is magnetic’

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#1 Take care of yourself.

Put yourself first.

Self care & self love. When you feel good about yourself you create an essence of confidence (without ego).

Take time out for you, reconnect, do the girly things, get a manicure, a massage, a facial.

Take care of your body. Confidence starts on the inside. Are you treating yourself like the gorgeous sexy hot woman you know you are? Eating nourishing foods? Training your mind? Creating good situations to be in? Or are you not? Perhaps choosing not so nutritious foods that can leave you feeling bloated and blah, chatting to yourself ceaselessly negatively (how can anyone feel good with those negative words on repeat?), or being in situtaions that just dont make you feel good.

 

#2 Embrace your sexuality.

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Own it.

Your desires. Yours wants. Be into sex if you want. Be sexy. Have great sex. Get more. Or less. Know what you want and get it. This is non negotiable. You are the only one who knows what you want, so go out there and get it. Be strong, be sexual, be you.

#3 Work in your own stuff.

Let go of the past. Drop the emotional baggage off.

Orgasm is in the mind. Intimacy is in the mind. Pleasure is in the mind.

Let go of yesterday, things that might have happened and accept who you are, and embrace it.

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#4 Stop Judging.

Embrace the lifestyle & choices of others. Stop judging others. We are all unique. Respect the choices people make. Respect their decisions. Respect who they are. Its not for you to decide or comment about what should or shouldnt make a person happy. Let them be them, and you jsut be you. Focus on getting more of your own big O’s before your quick to judge other people.

#5 Be open to new experiences.

Try everything once. Create new experiences. Be bold. Read books, blogs, videos…explore. Be open with your partner. Communicate. Say yes or say no. Tell him/her what you want. Sexuality is designed to be explored. Like something, say so. Dont like it, say it.

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‘Being tied up is so in right now, thanks to Mr Gray’ Juliet.

#6 Allow yourself to be vulnerable.

Vulnerability = intimacy.

‘Sex is by nature a vulnerable act on so many levels. To open ones body bare, to share deep feeling, to allow yourself to be penetrated or seen naked, to expose tender parts of yourself like desire, fantasy and insecurity, to allow yourself to want and desire and to be fulfilled. These things are vulnerable.’ Amy Jo goddard.

Risk getting hurt. Open yourself up. We hide behind our fears of ‘what will he/she think’, scared of being judged. Again, be who you are, and jut own it. Find someone with the same thoughts as you, sexual freedom to explore.

#7 Step into your power.

You can chose to be sexy.

Make it a priority. Stop blaming others or making excuses. You have the power to create change. Your lack of, or great sex life is all up to you. Do you want more sexual freedom…get it. Do you want better sex… Ask for it. Want to try something new…whatever it may be, ask for it.

If you want a FWB… find one. If your happy for a one night stand, have one.

*Obviously always practice safe sex. (Did you know that wearing a condom is becoming increasingly rare?)

 

Interesting evening with a few q & a’s at the end.

Raunchy? I thought it could be more. But it was a great experience to be in a room full of woman, and a few men, and openly discuss what was once a taboo subject.

Yet the stats say:

Only 25% of women are completely satisfied with their sex life.

Only 12% of men say they are satisfied with their sex life.

39% of women wish they slept naked with their partner more often.

23% of men say they have no sex life.

I personally think that just like we train our bodies and our minds, our sexuality, chemistry and body experiences could be an area we could learn a bit more.

Or perhaps, this just goes back to self love…knowing who you are and what you want.

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Love, Charlie x.

P.s have you checked out my new funding campaign… I would love you to buy some #balls…

http://www.pozible.com/project/190510

 

#Boss life.

I wrote this last week when I was feeling inspired, to share with you the true journey of an entrepreneur…hustling AND struggling, making mistakes AND growing.

Because we see inspirational people who have achieved ‘success’, yet we dont see their struggle. What happens in all those in between years? So youve started a company…how do you go from small business to big business and when can you say youve ‘made it’? The actual reality that is behind starting your own business you have to wake up chasing your dreams, you have to create a sense of self so strong that you are able to always get back up after failing or being pushed down. You have to believe and have a strong sense of self that cannot be broken.boss5
I’m on a flight to Melbourne for the Filex show. Clean Treats is having a stand, my 2nd event of this type {read big scale, 30,000 visitors} in 4 weeks.

I feel a quiet contentment in my soul.
There is no stress, no worry, no concerns for I know now, especially after the first expo and this whole year of business, my first,  that what will be will be.

It was just over one year ago today that I didn’t even have any #balls. I was trying to make my life & living being a health coach and speaker in a field that is influxed with ‘professionals’. What I have found that success in this takes not only a long time but its all about who you know and being honest, your social media following.

 “I’ve missed more than 9,000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life and that is why I succeed.”  Michael Jordan

It was with desperation to pay my rent that I created a product (I was actually lucky, the #balls happened. I was surprised myself that they did with no recipes  but worked first go for my first 3 love ball range flavours).

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Now 1 year on, as I continuously read personal development books (currently the E myth & Inspiration from Lisa Messenger) my business that has no business plan, a business that was created out of desperation not to be homeless, is it’s at its adolescent stage. Grown from being a baby business, something I wasn’t quite sure was real or in fact sustainable…just operating week to week, now has its own little legs and is starting to run {if your familiar with the book and the reference of adolescence you’ll also know that at this stage my business is running me, I’m not running it and that’s my the best place to be).

 “If you are not embarrassed by the first version of your product, you’ve launched too late.”  –Reid Hoffman

{the above quote! So true…Ive done so many things and have later thought what was I thinking? But its good to laugh, look back, change and move forward}

I cannot begin to write the extent of struggles I’ve experienced; from not being able to pay rent on several occasions, not being able to pay power bills. To having to put $5 petrol in, or do deliveries with the E light on. To breaking down emotionally in public then having to walk into a meeting with a potential new client. Having to rush to a the nearest bathroom facilities to throw up (stress sickness). To feeling all alone with no support (even though I have a world of support around me). 

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To now, 1 year later about to exhibit with my own team of #ballers, at the largest fitness and health exhibition in Australia after making a statement lat year that I would have my own stand this year. To expose my business: something I have created from nothing, product to logos, design….everything that is Clean Treats to approximately 30,000 people.

To the moments that I have cried tears of happiness. To feeling my heart so full it could burst. To feeling 200% in tune with my passion and my purpose. 

 “Whether you think you can, or think you can’t — you’re right.”  –Henry Ford

And truth be told not everyday I awake with passion stronger than caffeine. Some days it is about one foot in front of the other.

I’m now ready to pass on the things that give me headaches: finances, tax etc so I can ensure allll of my energy is focused on the things I now how to do and can do them well (sales, sharing love, playing with balls 🙂

Business is my game & creating a healthy happy change in the world is my goal.

“The critical ingredient is getting off your butt and doing something. It’s as simple as that. A lot of people have ideas, but there are few who decide to do something about them now. Not tomorrow. Not next week. But today. The true entrepreneur is a doer, not a dreamer.”  –Nolan Bushnell

I truly believe the universe gave me an avenue (because believe me I am not a great cook, & sometimes I don’t particularly like 14hr days in the kitchen, or having to spend the 4 day easter weekend in prep with 5000 balls before the fitness expo) to be the best that I can be. To test every skill I have ever acquired from working for some of the best companies in Australia; Pevonia Botanica, Flush Fitness, Napoleon Perdis. All companies created by someone with a dream. Someone with drive, belief and the tenacious self belief to say yes to a world that will say no. I remember to this day when the CEO of pevonia Botanica (a leading proffessional skin care company) inspired us, his team of 15 sales reps that he once had to go out door knocking. He had to walk the streets to get accounts. 7 years later the company was turning over $8million and awarded best skin care distributor (this was a while ago). Because he believed. And he did the work.

 “Don’t be afraid to assert yourself, have confidence in your abilities, and don’t let the bastards get you down.”  –Michael Bloomberg

The purpose of this post (I have missed writing!!) is to say thank you.

To everyone who has been or is still part of my journey. Whether you hate me or love me, like me or don’t…you have influenced me in some way.

If you have a dream chase it.
Do everything you can.
(You have to let go of your ego and pride sometimes; for example when you have to ask your baby brother to bail you out for rent #loveyou)
Back yourself. And be prepared to do what needs to be done. To say no to dinner or a social engagement because you have to work.
There is no balance in the beginning. This I know. You have to live and breathe your business, because you are everything and the only thing it has. When it’s you, and only you trying to make ends meet with no financial backers, you’ve got to do what needs to be done…hrs upon hrs of work…commiting to a goal, a dream noone can see but you. You have be the the chef, the social media pro, the business manager, the admin assistant, the delivery man, the accountant, the communications, strategist, product packer… everything above and beyond any lines. Its all you. 

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I have HUGE dreams. And they scare me.
I’m getting tired of being the small guy to some companies, told no repeatedly or just treated with a blaze approach (think orders/suppliers etc) so it’s time I put in place some big systems and take action to be where and who I want to be. 
In writing that, I also know I am exactly where I should be, in this exact moment. Learning everyday. Taking a jump, running fast, falling down, and sometimes barely even crawling towards my dreams. But I am always going in the right direction towards them.
I am excited (especially for new packaging, new procedures and some new partnerships that I am creating/will make happen because I want to run my business not have it run me).
I’m not perfct. I make mistakes (everydayyyyyyy) but I am trying (and yes I left that spelling mistake there).

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And so should you. Because together we can be the change the world needs.

Love, Charlie x.

{from The Clean Treats Factory}

I believe. Do you?