Detox your relationships.

It seems to me we are limiting ourselves with the company we keep. Just like how we become what we eat, we are only as strong as those we surround ourself.

‘I think it’s important to get your surroundings as well as yourself into a positive state – meaning surround yourself with positive people, not the kind who are negative and jealous of everything you do.’ Heidi Klum

 

 

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Do you want love and support? Are you loving and supportive? Whatever it is that you need you must become. Take a moment and evaluate your circle. The people who are closest to you, who influence your choices and actions. Are they positive? Are they supportive? Do they care about your wellbeing? Are they understanding? Are they respectful? Do they guide you in the right direction? Do they have your best interests at heart?

I have found that allowing people to move through my life is one of the most difficult things to do. You see some people are only meant for a moment, some for a lifetime.

“7 things negative people will do to you. They will… 
1. Demean your value;
2. Destroy your image
3. Drive you crazily!
4. Dispose your dreams!
5. Discredit your imagination!
6. Deframe your abilities and
7. Disbelieve your opinions!

Stay away from negative people!” 

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If you have those toxic (negative, disrespectful, ‘take’ mentality) people in your life, how do you expect to reach your potential? Toxic people are toxic. To you. Your life.

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Detox immediately. You are the only one who has the power to make decisions in your life. You can wake up in the morning and choose to hit snooze or choose to get your body moving. You can choose to think it will be a beautiful day. You can choose what behaviours you accept. Every choice you make will create your life.

Make better choices. I used to carry a bucketload of guilt and sadness when I would distance myself from people.

“Someone who smiles too much with you can sometime frown too much with you at your back.” Michael Bassey Johnson

I would keep trying, giving people the benefit of the doubt, hoping and holding into thoughts of the goodness within is all. Truth is we are all on different life rhythms. Let go of those who are trying to hold you down, and let yourself be free. Just let go with love and light, wish them well and realise they were only for a moment. Let go with no guilt and surround yourself with the people who lift you higher (no guilt, it is a natural progression in life as we each change).

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Detox. Because people have the power to influence you, but only you have the power to decide and choose what you want and what is acceptable behaviour. Be strong. I can promise the more decisions you make to let go and move on from people who no longer have your best interests in their heart, the closer you are to finding the ones who do.

‘Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you’ll start having positive results.’ Willie Nelson

 

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I am so grateful for every person in my life, the good and the not so, in this moment and the previous. For you have all contributed to the person {& I finally love who} I have become today.

‘Good for the body is the work of the body, and good for the soul is the work of the soul, and good for either is the work of the other.’ Henry David Thoreau

Love & light, Charlie x.

Do you have toxic people in your life? Have you successfully detoxed? Are you happier?

To enter to win this gorgeous ‘NOTOX’ box, please write a comment about your experiences with people detoxing.

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Depression & its Ebony tinted glasses.

Yesterday I had one of those days, I had felt it coming for a little while, my old enemy depression knocking at my door, waiting for its opportunity to come in and make himself at home (oddly I refer to it as him).

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And he did. It only took a few little things to escalate to a big thing. I started the over-thinking, over-awful sing, the ‘oh my Goodness it’s over’ thinking. The negative downward spiral that fast sends us out of control. Now I’m not perfect and I have never claimed to be. I am just like you, trying to make each day better, to live healthier and happier, hence why I have decided that becoming a Health coach is my calling, inspiring people is my passion, because I need the love & inspiration to surround me. I have studied and learnt about the body, the hormones and the way food affects us, especially in a depressed state (think how often you do something that is self harming when feeling down? the alcohol, the binge, the acting out towards a loved one, only to feel worse, these are all created from sense of fear and are acts of self sabotage). So I have created healthy happy rituals that are my ladder out of that black hole known as depression, or my light when the darkness takes over (the world is see through ebony tinted glades that once were rose but now everything that was once beautiful seems to have a black (ebony) tint, also know as the fog).

 

‘This is what I am. I have periods of enormous self-destructive depression, where I go completely off my trolley and lose all sight of reality and reason.’ Siobhan Fahey

 

 

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Life is not always going to be sunshine & roses (thank you for that fact rocky), but it truly is about how you deal with whatever it is that is thrown to you. Yesterday I jut let myself wallow for a moment (it lasted approx half an hr) I went to bed in the middle of the day I ate chocolate (organic though) and I cried. All The while my mind was in a battle, the positive vs the old negative beliefs were at war (you created this problem, you should have known better, the universe will look after you, it’s your own fault, I trust you, you can find a way, you don’t deserve happiness, it was good for a moment, you have to do the work, you can do it, just get up!). My heart and body just simply needed a time out.

 

‘I’ve had some dark nights of the soul, of course, but giving in to depression would be a sellout, a defeat.’ Christopher Hitchens

 

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So whilst I have suffered depression for many years now, it’s nowhere near the crippling, stay in bed self sabotage, self loathing, last for days on end as it was before. Because now I know I deserve good in my life. I have cultivated self love and self-dependence that even when the darkest storm comes in, the little light inside my heart will not be blown out, it will always burn, and it will always have my key mantra…’everything will always be ok, I love you on’ repeat for times like this when I need it. For you may not understand but every single positive thought, every happy action, every healthy habit you think and do is like water on this seed, everyday fertilising the light/flower within my heart and soul, and It’s miraculous, like a seed it grows and becomes stronger.

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‘Enthusiasm is followed by disappointment and even depression, and then by renewed enthusiasm.’ Murray Gell-Mann

Now, this little light, my true essence of being is protected like my own secret garden, it’s fiercely guarded. No one or nothing will ever take or blow this out. This does not mean that I don’t feel depression, sadness, loneliness, confusion or the ‘this is too hard’ thoughts (especially trying to run your own business as a giver, when the cost of living is a taker). But I can appreciate the dark low feelings. I can go to bed for a minimum amount of time, allow myself to cry express my frustration, and the what will I do thoughts of exasperation, but rather than wallow I have now built up enough positive thoughts and affirmations these are on repeat in my mind. So like a friend that says those ebony tinted glasses don’t suit you at all, I take them off (because we do live in an image based world and I am a women who attempts to take pride in my appearance) and instead replace them with my rose tinted glasses. Because when there is a will there is always a way.

‘Exercise is the most powerful and underutilized antidepressant and its free.’

Create healthy habits that keep you afloat through the storm. Understand that it is ok to feel bad. It’s fine. Don’t focus on the thoughts, the problems. Instead feel them, acknowledge them then get to your positive actions, be a problem solver. Go for a run. Read an inspirational book. Everything will always be ok and there is always light within the darkness you just have to look within yourself and be ready to see it. Life is nt meant to be easy, but you choose your thoughts like the way you choose what your wear, will you put on the dark unflattering ebony tinted glasses or will you choose to be your best self and put on the flattering pretty rose-tinted glasses?

The choice, has and will always be yours.

Love & light, Charlie x.

Today Im wearing my favourite Rose (& gold) tinted glasses to see my world in sunshine, light & happiness.

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Time for a change…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

No doubt your feeling like you have over indulged {slightly or a lot}, just like myself.

To continue practising the gift of giving, I am promoting Be Well; the Project for $75 until January 6th.

 

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‘Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship.’ Buddha

Email me for more information.

Love & light, Charlie x.

{Gift vouchers are also available}

The best is yet to come.

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Your life, your responsibility.

Many people know what they want yet have no idea to get there. Many aren’t prepared to take action towards their goals. Whilst others aren’t sure what their goals are.

‘The greatest day in your life and mine is when we take total responsibility for our attitudes. That’s the day we truly grow up.’ John c. Maxwell

 

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What is it that you really want from life? If you could change anything in the life that you are living now, what would it be?

If you want something, do everything you possibly can to make it happen. Take action. Daily. Consciously. Make a change today.

You cannot escape the responsibility of tomorrow by evading it today.’ Abraham Lincoln

Find your goal and make a plan. Other people can’t achieve your goal for you it’s yours. Make decisions about achieving your goal then give it your all, your mind, body & soul. Dedicate your heart to your passion and achieving it. You can create your dream reality, if you focus. Energy goes where intention flows.

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Stop playing the victim and giving other people the power to change your life. And stop waiting for other people to make your life better, or make your dreams come true. You are the only one who can change your life.

You can choose to be happy, just as you can choose to be unhappy.

‘One reason so few of us achieve what we truly want is that we never direct our focus; we never concentrate our power. Most people dabble their way through life, never deciding to master anything in particular.’ Tony Robbins

Whatever happens, if it works, if it doesn’t, if you make mistakes… IT DOESNT MATTER. Mistakes are proof that you are trying. If you truly want to make a change realise that you can, believe in the beauty of your capabilities and make it happen. It wont be easy but it will be worth it.  Be prepared to learn, to grow and develop in your life. Be flexible, allow your direction to change as your life does.

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‘It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light. Aristotle Onassis

As I’m learning about business and working for yourself, I have realised I’ve been asking a lot of my friendships and from the people in my life, in terms of support and connections. I realised this when I was  experiencing a feeling of disappointment and being ‘let down’. I had to stop to think about where these emotions were coming from, what was occurring at the time and how much was I depending on other people to do the work for me? I soon realised, I had become dependant. I was utilising my support system as foundations of my business (rather then my internal strength) when they should simply be supporting structures (of a building, not 100% on this terminology, but Im sure you understand what I mean). My lesson, don’t rely on other people to do the work for you, they have their own lives to keep their focus on and no one can do what you do the way you do it.

1468706_10152113662923619_1138440331_nOne’s philosophy is not best expressed in words; it is expressed in the choices one makes… and the choices we make are ultimately our responsibility.’ Eleanor Roosevelt

Goals are dreams with a deadline. Consciously plant the positive seeds in your mind to support the beautiful garden of your mind. Plant seeds of strength. Belief. Faith. Realise what it is you dream of becoming, the life you dream of living then strive to succeed with perseverance and determination.

Dont just live your life, design a life you love to live.

Love & light, Charlie x.

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Monday Motivation…Amanda Rootsey

Monday, the day we all need a little motivation (sometimes). Today, Im sharing with you an extremely gorgeous soul who has battled cancer and now shares her passion to help others Shine from Within.

‘The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.’ Eleanor Roosevelt

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About Amanda: I’m 28 and live in beautiful Noosa, Queensland. I have a business called Shine From Within where I teach girls about wellness, self-love, presentation, first impressions, skin care and lots more. It’s kind of like a deportment school with a twist!

NBB: You are a well-known Eco Model and Health/Wellness advocate. What do you attribute this success to?

I was modelling with Vivien’s Model Management for many years and while working in Europe I found a lump on my neck. When I came home and had it checked out it turned out to be Hodgkin’s Lymphoma, a cancer in the lymphatic system. This turned my world upside down and I started researching everything I could to help my body heal. It was the best thing ever (in hindsight!) because I became so passionate about the importance of healthy eating, self-love, peace and making the most of every moment. I got back to nature and the more I headed down this new wonderful path the more distance I felt from my old life. I didn’t think I would ever get back in to modelling because I wasn’t interested in helping people sell products and fashion that harmed animals, people and the planet. But there are so many beautiful companies out there that are trying to tread a little bit lighter on the planet and do things in an ethical manner, so I work exclusively with these companies and love shining a light on all that they do. So I think I can attribute my success as an eco-model and health/wellness advocate to having gone through a 2 year battle with cancer and coming out the other side with a new passion for life and a desire to create a beautiful world for future generations.

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NBB: When did you decide to you wanted to be involved in the health industry?

I decided to start blogging about my journey early on in my cancer diagnosis because I was coming across so much information that really blew me away. I couldn’t believe some of the stuff I was reading, particularly around the detrimental effects of meat and dairy. I went vegan straight away, started A Modern Girl’s Life (my blog) and my partner and I started Vegan Era as a way to share everything I was learning. It was a lonely time for me so I wanted to put something out there in case there were other young women going through something similar. It’s how I found beautiful soul sisters like Jess Ainscough, the Wellness Warrior.

‘I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles.’ Audrey Hepburn

NBB: When did you decide to begin SHINE (from within) personal development school?

Shine From Within has been brewing for many years. I used to teach personal development courses and professional model training in schools and during school holidays back when I was modelling in Brisbane. I loved teaching but I never once thought I would actually start my own school! It wasn’t until I learned so much about the health side of things that I really wanted to help young girls realise the importance of taking care of themselves, each other and the planet. So the courses cover everything to help the girls look and FEEL their very best. We use all natural, local and organic products in the courses and I feel them delicious organic raw food so they can start to appreciate what good food tastes like!

NBB: How do you feel as an inspirational figure/mentor?

Honestly I’ve never thought of myself as an inspirational figure! I’m just doing my thing.

NBB: Has there been any challenges along your journey?

Definitely but that’s how we learn and grow. The biggest one was obviously cancer but there were lots of little battles in there too. For example, I really wanted to treat the cancer naturally and did so for about a year but eventually I had to have chemotherapy and radiation – something I was very much against in the beginning. But I realised that we all have our own journey and what works for some people doesn’t work for others and vice-versa. All we can do is our best and listen to our own intuition. We always know what is right for us if we take a moment to listen.

‘Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers you cannot be successful or happy.’ Norman Vincent Peale

 

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NBB: How do you maintain balance between your Career and personal health?

It’s a constant battle! I’m very good at taking on too much so I just try to monitor that, say no when I need to and make sure I do things that make me feel good every day. I don’t stick to a certain fitness regime or anything like that – I just try to move everyday. I love swimming in the ocean, going for runs in the national park, going to a bikram class and taking my gorgeous dog Trudi for big walks. I find journaling at night helps me to keep an eye on when I am getting a bit overwhelmed so that really helps me to maintain the balance.

‘Be happy with what you have and are, be generous with both, and you wont have to hunt for happiness.’ William E. Gladstone

NBB: What do you believe are the keys to success in business?

I believe the keys to success in business are embracing your unique story, talents, gifts and not worrying too much about what everyone else is doing. Do what feels right, listen to that intuition and then get organised!! You have to be prepared to do the things that you don’t want to do sometimes too and you have to motivate yourself. Even when you do what you love there are days when you don’t want to do anything

 

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NBB: What is your advice for anyone who has a dream?

Put it down on paper and start working towards it, one step at a time.

NBB: What can we look forward to next from you?

I’ve got a Tweens course for 10-12 year olds starting on November 30th and then lots of courses happening throughout 2014 for teenage girls. I’ve had loads of enquiries for a course for adults too so that will be coming as well. I’m also working on an ebook and an online course for shinefromwithin.com.au but that will be coming later in 2014 or early 2015. I’m always speaking at different events around Australia and writing about eco-living too at amandarootsey.com.au so stay tuned!

NBB: Top 3 healthy tips/advice?

1. Listen to your body

2. Meditate

3. Be gentle with yourself

‘Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes.’ Carl Gustav Jung

NBB: Share something no one knows…

Hmm…I tend to do my best work in the middle of the night – I’ve been fighting it for a while now but it just works for me! Lazy mornings and late nights working.

Follow her journey and continue to be inspired:

Facebook: Shine from Within or A modern girls life.

IG: amandarootsey

Website: http://www.amandarootsey.com.au or http://www.shinefromwithin.com.au

There are some people in this world who were born to inspire and motivate, to be leaders for us all, I believe Amanda is one of them and would like to thank her sincerely for being a personal source of inspiration and doing what she can to make a change in the world.

Love & Light, Charlie x.

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Self love Sunday…getting control.

The day of the week to be still and reflect on your life, to plan and make changes (I love Self love Sunday).

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‘To enjoy good health, to bring true happiness to ones family, to bring peace to all, one must first discipline and control ones own mind. If a man can control his mind he can find the way to Enlightenment, and all wisdom and virtue will naturally come to him.’ Buddha

 

As Im reflecting, Ive noticed that I’ve created a dependence on food to feel a sense of control, eating until a sense of satiety takes over (ridiculous amounts). Not only this but I’ve falling into the ‘I don’t care’ category, filling myself with anything toxic. As I think about it, it scares me, I have never lost my own motivation in this way. Sugar, chocolate, chips and Ice cream. Now I’ve always been prone to a ‘cheat’ meal or two a habit  I have desperately been trying to break the circle of dieting. I believe in balance, but it’s always been the one or two, this time it’s been over 2 weeks where I haven’t gone longer than a few days without reaching for a sugary treat.

‘This is the very perfection of a man, to find out his own imperfections.’ Saint Augustine

 

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Where has this come from? After researching and discovering the many causes of out of control eating/over eating and binge eating I realised I had created this as my ‘go to’. As my world is changing (I currently have the luxury of not having to set an alarm any day or be anywhere at anytime except for yoga class and a few seminars weekly). I had created a dependence on food in lieu of a sense of routine (and I am an OCD/addictive personality). In times of being unsure we become dependant on other areas in our life that we can control; partners, substances, exercise (this was my normal addiction), good and bad habits.

So how do we break these bad habits and dependencies that come on so quickly they occur without us even realising?

Make a plan. Today is a new day, I’m using my self-love Sunday to write a commitment letter to myself. Just as a reminder; healthy is happy. And a reminder that I care for my wellbeing.

I know I feel better in my body and mind when I make healthier choices (junk foods create junk moods, I have found this to be true). I am the only one in control of my life and I can choose how to live it.

‘A man sooner or later discovers that he is the master-gardener of his soul, the director of his life.’ James Allen

I also have to remind myself, it’s ok to make mistakes. For you see my whole life I have been involved in health and fitness, I live and breathe it, especially now as it’s my chosen career; the career I love. I will remind myself that it’s ok to slip up. Guilt is a bad thought that leads to bad emotions. Which only then lead to more of your bad habit (such a terrible cycle).

Let go of the guilt. The pressure to be perfect (all the time). Life is made to be lived; we live and we learn.

 

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‘The best years of your life are the ones in which you decide your problems are your own. You do not blame them on your mother, the ecology, or the president. You realize that you control your own destiny.’ Albert Ellis

As I reflect, making my plan, I’m thinking about the triggers; a bad day, lack of motivation, and for me personally; the hope of something blossoming into a relationship that didn’t (rejection, something I deal with poorly). I have determined this has been, amongst others, the trigger to my low self-esteem, ‘I’m not good enough’ thoughts. Why, when this time of my life, (everything is amazing) this particular person doesn’t want to be involved? . These thoughts can lead to hurt, sadness and a negative downward spiral. But it’s ok to feel them sometimes, just know when it’s time to stop (today).

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Today, is my time, I’m choosing to not give my power, my self-love away to someone, away to the addictive chemicals in ‘bad’ food. Instead I’m going to write My Commitment letter and reflect on everything that is amazing in my life, because I am truly blessed. I’m starting a 28 day ‘clean’ program. Not a Diet. In 28 days it will be my 30th birthday and I’m hoping the release of my book; Live a life you love (fingers crossed). What better motivation, to be the very best version of myself.

What are you committed to? Where is your focus? What can you do today to make a change in your life?

‘As your faith is strengthened you will find that there is no longer the need to have a sense of control, that things will flow as they will, and that you will flow with them, to your great delight and benefit.’ Emmanuel Teney

I am the only one who can create my dream reality, and I have the faith, knowledge and belief that I will. Mistakes do not define me, they empower me.

Love and light, Charlie x.

I’m off to spend the day doing the absolute final (scary and exciting) read though of my Manuscript.

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Medical practice; how good is it?

It’s now been over a year I have been dealing with a personal health situation with still no answer.

I wanted to express my thoughts and my understanding to those who are in a similar situation, or even worse.

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Whilst it isn’t life threatening at this stage, my issue  has had a huge impact on other areas of my life, and my mental health (not to mention my finances).

“Those who are without compassion cannot see what is seen with the eyes of compassion.”  Thich Nhat Hanh

As we put out trust into the medical system, led to believe that they have the answers, how are we meant to feel when the answers we receive are: no explanation, more tests required, I cant tell you why?

It has been through my own process of trying to determine the cause of a digestive issue (some of you close to me know, but I generally tend to always look like I’m 3 months pregnant, sometimes more depending on food). After seeing specialists, gastroentologists, naturopaths and nutritionists, being recommend medication for paraplegic’s to full Fod maps diets; no gluten; no diary; no sugar diets….still with no solution and no reason for cause, I can say it becomes more than a little disheartening. To feel pain with no explanation, no see distension in your own body, leaves you feeling less than happy, hoping to understand what is causing it.

In a review 1 in 6 patients will visit a Dr with digestive issues.

Does this not send a loud signal to not only our government but the medical world that something we are doing is WRONG?

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“The art of medicine consists of amusing the patient while nature cures the disease.”  Voltaire

Personally, I have tried it all; I tried the medication that I was given after a transit study, the specialist had no reason for the cause wasn’t interested in finding it but happy to give me a drug that ‘should’ work (it didn’t, and I realise this may be part because of my own mind mentality of not wanting drugs in my body, especially without treating the cause). A standard GP who was quick to write a script for a course of serious and intense antibiotics for a period of 2 weeks (with no recommendation of cultivating any good bacteria with a probiotic), to the nutritionist who recommended a full FOD map diet (no consumption of specific foods that cause fermented gas in the stomach), no gluten, no alcohol, no sugar (I did commit to this for 3 weeks, and can honestly say it was very difficult and limited with no result).

I can begin to understand why people have little faith in those who invest years to develop knowledge about the human body.

I love to read and do my own research this can sometimes be beneficial, but also detrimental as there is so much information out there. The more you research a particular issue the more confused you can become, just as with nutrition or anything in your life, there will be many reasons why it is the most amazing thing (EVER), and many that claim it to be the worst.

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The digestive system is the beginning of all disease. From bad bacteria (of which we need some), equalling malabsorption of nutrients, creating toxins and unbalance within the body to serious disease. It is one of the least understood systems in the body.

Instead of diet, what if we looked at the properties in food, the times best food types are digested, with different food partnering? This is something I am now looking at.

As I’ve had everyone from family, friends (who are all fabulously fit and share a passion for knowledge and learning), to the specialist and naturopaths find problems but no solution or cause, you get to a point of beyond frustration.

“Always laugh when you can, it is cheap medicine.”  George Gordon Byron

Curious, the digestive system in eastern philosophy can be dictated to by our emotions. If you find you have had problems with digestion, this can relate to life experiences such as resistance to letting go, or releasing things in your life. Intriguing thought (if you know I’m still working through some issues remaining from a bad relationship and healing my heart). In fact, my next visit,  if I decide to pursue this will be to a kinesiologist; the combination of eastern and western medicine.

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I’ve even flown interstate to see (an expensive) holistic dr, still with no answers; ‘I just don’t understand’.

So my personal advice for anyone who is dealing with these situations, and as I mentioned I do sympathize, especially with those dealing with life threatening situations, is sometimes, just follow your internal instinct.

Return to clean natural eating. Get your body moving, keep up your h2o, and maybe you’ll be surprised at how the body will return to its natural balance that is homeostasis (it naturally wants to be here and will always try to return to this place of balance), give it the tools/food/nutrients to do so.

‘The greatest force in the human body is the natural drive of the body to heal itself–but that force is not independent of the belief system.  Everything begins with belief.  What we believe is the most powerful option of all.’ Norman Cousins

It’s not about giving up, it’s about having faith in the miracle that is your gorgeous body (believe me I know this is hard). For me, I’m giving my beautiful body the reward of taking a break from intense dieting, supplements, intense training and just letting it be. A kg or 2 (or 5, oops), what does it matter? Ease up on yourself and remember there’s so much more in life to focus on; the good.

Studies show that a positive mind and a positive body can heal more than you think possible.

Believe (I am). Energy goes where intention lies.

‘To keep the body in good health is a duty… otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear.’ Buddha

Love & light, Charlie x.

Today’s mantra: I am healthy, I am happy. I honour and appreciate my body.

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Gossip…what good is it?

Do you find yourself caught in the vicious cycle of gossip? Why?

“Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.”  Eleanor Roosevelt

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How does it benefit you, to speak of someone or something in a derogative manner, to offer your opinion on something/someone you most likely have no idea about, and let’s be real, really has no effect on your own life?

Yet we have all been guilty of this nasty act, gossip. 

Does it make you feel better?

Does it determine your self worth?

Do you get satisfaction from offering your opinion?

Just as we’ve all been guilty of partaking in this terrible activity, I’m sure we have all been on the receiving side of gossip. Sometimes it can be quite interesting yet upsetting when it is relayed back to you (you learn things about yourself you didn’t even know existed or happened).

So why do we actively participate in brining other people down? Gossip is a bad habit. 

My mantra; if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all.

If you find yourself being drawn into a conversation or gossip session, politely excuse yourself, change the subject or remove yourself. You do not need to be part of the world that is negative, judgmental or opinionated. Be the change you wish to see in the world.

Just like positive thinking, positive speaking will bring so much more love and joy into your world. 

Why do you gossip?

“Gossip is just a tool to distract people who have nothing better to do from feeling jealous of those few of us still remaining with noble hearts.” Anna Godsperson

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Take a look within yourself, the answer is there. Most people partake in the bad habit of gossiping because they themselves do not feel good enough. Gossip or bringing other people down allows them to get a small sense of being better than (even though this is only perceived in their mind). Speak about the good in your life, share your happiness (there is always something good to be thankful for).

The fact is, how often do you know the real circumstances about the person or situation you are gossiping about (never)?

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“Be less curious about people and more curious about ideas.” Marie Curie

Really, who are you to judge? We all have a past, we are all trying to live life the best way we know how, and this includes making mistakes. Nobody deserves your judgement. Once you become a gossip you are in turn ruining your own reputation and creating a sense of distrust. Dont you want loving , respectful, trusting relationships nad friendships?

Gossiping says more about you than the person you are gossiping about. 

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Just stop. Say something nice instead. How brilliant would it be to know that people referred to you as ‘she never had a bad word to say about anyone’? (A lovely thought I imagine).

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness’ Audrey Hepburn. 

Interesting fact; in Shakespeare’s time, a GOSSIP was someone who sat with a women during child-birth to speak with her and offer comfort.

Love & light, Charlie x.

‘Be impeccable with your word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love. ‘ Miguel Angel Ruiz.

 

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Your Relationship; toxic?

Toxic; something that deflects life, energy and is no good for you.

I was recently asked by a friend for some advice about how to distance herself, break and get over a bad relationship. A relationship she felt she had lost herself to, and was now causing her Emotional trauma.

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When asked by this person, someone I thought had a strong sense of self, a strong sense of being, I began to contemplate; how does this happen, to the best and worst of us all? We get stuck in relationships that are detrimental to our health in the name of love?

Surely this is the opposite of love? And how do we allow ourselves to become lost? What an interesting contemplation.

‘Some of the biggest challenges in relationships come from the fact that most people enter a relationship in order to get something: theyre trying to find someone whos going ti make them feel good. In reality, the only way a relationship will last is if you see your relationship as a place that you go to give, and not a place that you go to take.’ Anthony Robbins


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But it does happen. It happened to me. I was always chasing the thought of being married to the love of my Life (by 30, just to add extra pressure), chasing the thought that love from another would complete me. In fact, in this love I refer to, I did the opposite I lost myself, completely. All for the hope of one today becoming his wife and the sense of security I thought being that would mean; always having someone there.

Relationships based on obligation lack dignity. Wayne Dyer

Now, when I reflect it wasn’t him at all, it was the sense of security I thought being in a relationship portrayed; of having someone always there, a hand to hold, a shoulder to lean on and of course someone to always love. It can be confronting to think about your relationship in such a manner, bringing up negative thoughts and emotions, but if you are feeling a sense of being unworthy, of feeling lost, contemplating if this is right…I suggest you take a moment and ask yourself the difficult questions (for in your heart you already know the answer).

If you are afraid to be yourself; the relationship isn’t good for you.

If you feel you aren’t good enough; the relationship isn’t the best one for you.

If you feel you are always wrong; the relationship probably isn’t right for you.

 

Dont you want to be in a relationship you can be your true self? encouraged to grow and develop into the amazing person you want to be? In a relationship that is supporting and nourishing, where you treat each other with a minimum level of respect?

Stop letting people who do so little for you control so much of your mind, feelings and emotions.’ Will Smith

Now, I can honestly tell you, there is always someone there; yourself, your sense of trust, faith and belief that you can deal with anything this beautiful life offers (you just have to take some time to develop it, like watering seeds ina  garden, self love will grow).

So, from falling in love to being trapped in something we don’t know how to break away from, something were not to sure about that we once were positive this was the best love ever, where does the love go? Our sense of self?

‘Falling in love and having a relationship are two different things.’ Keanu Reeves

Some people choose to be in relationships that they know in their hearts aren’t good, scared of being alone.

A thought…why are you scared of being alone? You always have yourself; are you a person you would want to spend time with? (If yes, excellent, I suggest you start spending some quality time with that gorgeous person, if no; what ways can you grow and develop for yourself?)

Often, when in these relationships we become addicted to the drama, the highs of love and the lows of hate.

‘What fascinates me about addiction and obsessive behavior is that people would choose an altered state of consciousness that’s toxic and ostensibly destroys most aspects of your normal life, because for a brief moment you feel okay.’ Moby

We become people we don’t even recognize in the mirror, acting in ways different to that of our true selves, of our morals and beliefs.

My advice for those that feel they are in one of these difficult relationships, is simply ask yourself is this what I really want? Is this how I should be treated? Is this the right way to treat someone else?

Take some time to fall in love with yourself. The saying, first you must love yourself before you can love someone else is true. If you don’t love yourself, your life, you look to the other person to ‘fix’ those areas. Automatically putting pressure on someone who has no idea of those unseen expectations, and is surely destined to fail.

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Contemplate; if the relationship is causing you drama, emotional trauma and you are no longer being true to yourself, is this the definition of a good relationship? Is this the type of relationship you would be happy for any of your loved ones; family and friends to be in?

We seek advice from others, family, friends, even counsellors (I have seen many and I truly believe they are like a personal trainer for your mind), yet all the answers you need are within you.

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Break the addiction. That’s all it really is. Learn to have some self-respect, you are worthy of so much more, but be sure you have more to give. You will be ok on your own, it may take time, practice patience with yourself; good things take time.

Love & light, Charlie x.

Dedicated to a friend I wish I could offer more than my words & love to.

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Elation; the Feeling

Its not very often in our lives we get to experience the feeling that is pure elation. The exhilarating feeling of everything being right.

‘If you do what you love, it is the best way to relax.’ Christian Louboutin

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Elation; 

Noun: Great happiness and exhilaration.

Synonyms: Delight.

Last night I held Be Well; 12 steps to Wellness. This was the first event I held for my own business, for myself.

As I am a perfectionist I had put immense pressure on myself to make sure everything was just perfect…I wanted attendees to think and feel a sense of ‘WOW’.

‘Passion is energy. Feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites you.’ Oprah Winfrey

As I was preparing for this event some nerves, my old foes started to settle in. As they began to create ‘what if’ feelings of self doubt and create thoughts of absolute disaster, I had to step back, out of my own mind and contemplate where these little (sneaky, naughty) thoughts were coming from. I took a moment to reflect on how many public speaking events and seminars I had held before and once i counted to 100, I stopped with a sense of relief and belief reignited within myself.

‘Dont aim for success if you want it; jus do what you love and believe in, and it will come naturally.’ David Frost

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These fears and thoughts were not from lack of knowledge, I know everything I speak about inside and out, in fact I speak about these things all day every day (especially balance 😉 so how were these sneaky, negative unwanted thoughts creeping into my mind like little unwanted gatecrashers to a party?

The fact is, as I am a perfectionist, I hold myself to a very high standard, I like to be organised and when I want something to be perfect…it will be perfect (obviously these traits can be beneficial at times, detrimental at others). this perfectionism trait was building and creating immense pressure on myself, I had created it.

When you start out in your own business, every small move you make can be a success or perhaps not so good. Like a chess player playing an international tournament, every move you make must be thought about carefully; is it a move in the right direction? What will the possibilities be from this? And also to contemplate the possibility of it not being quite so good.

‘Every great dream begins with a dreamed. always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars and change the world.’ Harriet Tubman

I have in fact given many seminars and educational seminars before, but without the intensity and dependance of my name, growing my business attached.

I had the intention that attendees felt a sense of warmth from the moment they walked in. I come from a day spa background and trained my staff that the moment a client steps through the door is just as important as the treatment itself (some day spas have lost this memo).

I had the intention of attendees feeling and thinking…WOW. Of creating a sense of warmth, love and belonging. that they were in fact in the right place at the right moment.

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I invested my heart, my time and my funds into organising this event to create something special, and I was rewarded with something no amount of money can bu;, with smiles, kind words, even hugs from people who listened. I was ‘wowed’ my words could have that effect? You see, I don’t stand or speak from as manner that is egotistical I speak from a place in my heart, a place that has been there in the shadows with no light to be seen, a place where I have had to face my own inner demons and self sabotage acts, a place of emptiness and feeling lost…a place that is now filled with love for myself and love to give. When I speak I simply want to share.

My goal as a Wellness coach is to inspire 1 person daily, to smile, to make conscious choices and to perhaps love a little more. Just one person, in the words of Mother Theresa…‘Not all of us can do great things. But we can do small things with great love.” 

(I do have every intention of doing great things 🙂

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I am still floating on cloud 9, this feeling is my reward, and it is priceless.

“Real elation is when you feel you could touch a star without standing on tiptoe’ Doug Larson

ELATION; when everything just feels RIGHT. You know those days you wake up and you feel just RIGHT? The outfit works, your hair works (the hair part doesnt happen to often for me), life is GOOD.

When you chase your dreams, you are filled with a sense of passion, greater than any fear. Do what you love, love what you do.

You are exactly where you are meant to be right now, everything you need is already within you. It was quite amusing; when I was preparing my theme and things that I wanted for the event, I already had most of it, some items from years ago, everything you need and want, you already have. Appreciate it.

If you want to make a change, in the terms of Nike; JUST DO IT.

Love & light, Charlie x.

‘Every great dream begins with a dreamed. always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars and change the world.’ Harriet Tubman

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