Self Love Sunday; The cost of ambition

Do you know what it takes to be successful? Are you prepared to commit to your dream? Are you prepared to work for it? To give up weekends?

‘To succeed in life, you need two things: ignorance and confidence.’ Mark Twain

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Ive been having some in-depth discussions lately about people, our different values, and different dreams.

These are the very things that make us all different and unique, yet also make it harder for us to connect to one another. Sometimes you can meet people and you just click, and sometimes you just don’t (and that s ok to).

Ive been speaking with some of my very close, trusted friends about this feeling of loneliness I have thats lingering (& growing) underneath all my dream chasing.

Just yesterday I said ‘I feel like I’m living in a world of my own’. Now, this is not meaning my world is better or worse than anyones, it was simply a statement revealing the truth, underneath my passion and purpose I am finding it hard to create or even manage my connections with people.

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My dream consumes me. And as much as I am about balance, I would rather spend my time working on it then out socializing. I just don’t seem to have a lot of patience for small talk, the negative things that most people have to say (listen carefully to your next conversation, how much good, inspiration are they speaking?).

I am hoping that this is just a phase of turning my dream into reality, because I am well aware of the connections we need with people. Friends, family, lovers, shared smiles; they are what make it all worth it.

‘Decide what you want, decide what you are willing to exchange for it. Establish your priorities and go to work. ‘ H. L Hunt

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So today, Self Love Sunday, I’m working on my priorities. You know its true, when people say they don’t have time, you can rest assured that the truth they are telling you is that they just don’t have time for you. People make time for what they want.

So, as we go into the silly season, events and invites are everywhere, and as easy as it is to get caught up and play the social butterfly, I need to create some time management systems for both my dream, my health/fitness and my social life. I need to set my priorities straight to ensure I am focused on my goals, whilst making some time for some love in my life.

‘Dont make people a priority if they only make you an option’ Unknown

Im going to make time for the people who make time for me. As unfortunate as it sounds its true. The ones that also make an effort. Friendship/love cant be created by one person (unless youve create a social media ‘stalking’ relationship they dont know about). Im done with chasing people.

‘The key is not to prioritise whats on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities.’ Stephen Covey

 

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As my business grows, so to does the pressure (and amazing gratitude for the opportunities I am being given), of creating more success. So, if I have to be choosy with my time, its ok (trying to give myself a little mental break), because what I have to realise, and perhaps you do to, is not everyone gets these types of opportunities. Just recently I presented my BIG dream/proposal, regardless of the outcome I AM SO grateful I got the chance to do that, the biggest sales pitch of my entire life, for something I had created/will create.

‘Take up one idea. Make that one idea your life – think of it, dream of it, live on that idea. Let the brain, muscles, nerves, every part of your body, be full of that idea, and just leave every other idea alone. This is the way to success.’ Swami Vivekananda

{I definitely feel the above #obsessed}

There are things/people in life that will either lift you higher or pull you down. Cultivate Self love to trust your decisions. Time is priceless. Do not spend it doing things that don’t make you happy, with people who don’t spark the passion in your soul.

 

Today, Self Love Sunday Im reflecting & evaluating my priority list to ensure I can use my time more wisely, with people who inspire me, who make my heart smile (also organising my business so I can become more time efficient, Ive kind of been going along with it, surprised at how something so small #charliesballs, could grow so quickly, and I now need to realise that it is real. Even though Im a small business I need to start big business thinking & strategic planning).

As I work weekends, different hrs of the day, I know that this is what it takes. I am cultivating an attitude that every no, is closer to a yes, every mistake is an opportunity. And Im prepared to do the work (just watch me).

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Love & light, Charlie x.

A huge heart felt thank you to the people I can call my true friends who are in my life/holding my hand/putting up with my crazy work/dream/passion… Bali & cocktails soon 😉

 

Are you prepared to sacrifice for success?

How badly do you want it?
A question you have to ask yourself when you are chasing your dream.

A question I ask myself daily. Especially when it can all seem to much, I find its important to step back and think about why I am doing what I am doing (to create a healthy change in the world), sit with myself to connect with my heart, my passion and trust that what is right for me will be.

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What most people don’t understand is the sacrifices that are made by successful people to get to where they are today.

The hours of work.
The commitment.
The lack of social life.
The energy required to cultivate a constant ‘can do’ attitude.

Success does not just happen overnight. It requires work. Commitment. Focus. Out of the square thinking & ingenuity. An indomitable will to keep going. Passion. Purpose. Love.

Today, not the first of many, I’ll be working while the world around me is celebrating Melbourne Cup day.
Would I like to be in the sun sipping champagne, sure.

But I would like to be Director of a multimillion dollar business…more.

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You have to decide what you want and then make decisions that will get you there.
If you read my words, you’ll know I’m a big believer in motivational speakers, positive affirmations, filling your mind up with them so much that there’s no space left for negative thoughts, self doubt, or fear. (I was actually told the other day that im like a walking quote book/motivational cd…quite funny).

‘You want something, go get it.’

How prepared are you to make sacrifices so that you can invest your time in making your dream reality?

How prepared are you to commit to your dream? To always find a yes when life/people may say no?

How prepared are you to keep going when the going gets tough?

‘Dont be afraid to fail, you can’t always win, but don’t be afraid of making decisions

You have to believe that something different can happen, he who says he can, and he who says he can’t are both usually right.

Most of you say you want to be successful but you don’t want it bad, you just kinda want it, you don’t want it badder than you want to party, you dont want it as much as you wanna be cool, most of you don’t want success as much as you want to sleep.’

When you want to succeed as bad as you want to breathe, then you’ll be successful.

 

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You have to be prepared to make sacrifices. Believe it or not, but I used to take great pride in my sense of fashion; classic but designer. Sass and Bide was a personal favourite. Now, I cannot even remember the last time I brought designer items, choosing Nike (and only if I’m lucky) and investing in my business first. Doing what i can with what i have, organic growth, new packaging, new clients, new products…these make me just as happy as those Sass and Bide purchases (actually probably more). *When my dream is real I will be spending some hrs and hard earned $$$ in there Im sure, but for now Im prepared to go without.

‘To sacrifice what you are for what you will become. 

Talent you have naturally, skill is only developed with hrs and hrs of beating on your craft.

If you are not making someone elses life better tha youre wasting your time.’

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I no longer spend my weekends in a night club, bumping and grinding with people who are drinking away their problems (because isn’t that what nights of drinking that turn into 5am mornings are? Drinking to escape reality?) *Dont get me wrong, I love a nice wine, or my latest favourite Coconut tequila, but these happen once every blue moon. My days are to valuable to waste hung over, my body to precious to torture with the dehydration, and no doubt fast food that’s normally consumed.

Every decision you make is a step towards your future. Is it a decision for a better you? Or is it a step backwards?

‘Who do you want to be? What it’s going to be, who youre going to be, how youre going to do it. Just decide.’

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‘If you know what you’re worth, go out and get what your worth, but you got to be willing to take the hits and not point the finger and say you aint where you want to be because of him or her or anybody, cowards do that and that aint you. Youre better than that.

Because everyday is a new day, every moment is a new moment…Ima show you how great I am.’

So with that, and yes my writing is a way that I can share with you that yes I do struggle; some time in the sun, looking pretty, sipping champagne would definitely feel good. But I am committed to making my dream, my reality & honestly the thrill of my new project about to become real…absolutely nothing can beat.

Love & light, Charlie x.

 

Self love Sunday; Evaluate your Priorities

Its Time to spend a little time with myself today; Self love Sunday and I’m going to evaluate my priorities, and hopefully get some clarity and re direction for this lovely life of mine.

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It’s no doubt that I life a busy life, (I wouldn’t want it any other way), and it’s no doubt that I am a creative soul, when I am excited/inspired….there is absolutely nothing that will stop me. When I’m not, well it’s very difficult to find that inspiration ‘on’ switch.

With so many opportunities in life, how do we ensure we make the right ones? I’ve written before, but I will state that I am a perfectionist, I like my life in order and organised so I know exactly what’s going on (for mental peace but this also ensures everything gets done), I admit, I like to feel a sense of control (this does generate from a period of my life where I had no control, no direction, no sense).

It has been brought to my attention lately that perhaps I’ve taken on a little too much, committed to too many projects. (I have no problem committing to goals/deadlines or projects, but I am still working through my commitment to people/opening my heart issues).

‘ Always concentrate on the most valuable use of your time. This is what separates the winners from the losers.’ Brian Tracy

When your mind becomes an abyss of thoughts; what ifs, where to, what oppourtunity…how do you step back and re balance, Re connect with your true direction and path that’s so easy to get off?

Evaluate your priorities.

What is truly important to you? What is it that you are working for every day? Working towards every day?

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Today I’m writing a list of…

Important, not so important.

Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do. – John Wooden

I’m going to write every little thing that’s on my mind, weighing down on my shoulders, then I’m going to organise them into top priorities; things that I can change and then on the not so important; list the things that I cannot change and are simply out of my control, so I effectively mentally, release them from my mind and they stop taking up the precious space (this will be easy for some of you, but because I like to be in control, to let go of what I’m not, or what I cannot change isn’t for me).

Research shows that writing lists is an effective way to create mental clarity. You stop the thoughts running around in your mind (chaotically in mind), causing stress, and create a clear direction visually. You can analyse what tasks are important, must do today, and determine the not so important, can be done at leisure tasks. When you have an effective planning system you can become more effective, time efficient and less stressed (get planning now). It also provides a sense of satisfaction, achievement and accomplishment when you can tick or cross those tasks off.

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‘The key is not to prioritize whats on your schedule, but to schedule your priorities’. Stephen Covey.

Having a priority list/goal list/to do list also allows you to be visually reminded about why you are doing the things you are (even those mundane tasks) to get to where you want to be. If you are anything like me, I need these reminders in my life, daily.

ps4‘To succeed today, you have to set priorities, decide what you stands for.’ Lee Iacocca.

It can be so easy to be distracted; friends & social activities (enjoy time with true friends who believe in you, dont partake in negative behaviour towards yourself and to others), love & promises (stop waiting for someone to save you or make your life better); bed & sleep (this is always my personal test when the 5:30am alarm goes off).

Now because I am me and I’m a little creative (special) soul, I like to do things with essence, with meaning and create soulful experiences. Therefore my priorities list isn’t just going to be on some random bit of paper with a random pen, written at a random time, no, I am going to make it an experience; I am going to relax with a herbal concoction (my new favourite licorice/digestive, green tea/antioxidant and fennel/cleanse), light my gorgeous Ecoya candle (A beautiful gift from a truly gorgeous friend, Mimosa & white Tea nectarine), and get my ‘colourful’ on (pretty pens).

‘Decide what you want, decide what you are willing to exchange for it. establish your priorities and go to work’. H. L. Hunt

These are the Sunday mornings of Life.

What are your priorities? Where are you going? Who do you want to be?

If You have no goal, how can you make the right choices to get there/where you want to be?

Every moment of every day is your chance to do it right, to make it better, to live a better life. Every choice you make no matter how big or small are pieces of your dream reality.

Love & light, Charlie x.

Only you have the power to create your dream reality.

 

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Acting from your Ego…

‘It is the nature of the ego to take, and it is the nature of the soul to share. Proverb

What is ego acting?

When you are behaving in a manner that is conceited or with an inflated sense of self. Conceit, vanity, and importance can be characteristics of acting from your ego.

Before deciding who the people are in your life that may life this way, take a look within yourself… What egoic behaviours to you have?

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The ‘ego’ can occur when we are coming from a place of fear or uncertainty. Ego can be experienced by anger, greed, pride, arrogance, self anxiety. Lack of self esteem can also bring out the ego; a low self esteem means you do not believe in yourself, your self confidence is low and you may be easily persuaded to give up, the ego or negative thought pattern will arise and justify this. This may involve great challenges in your life, doing something you have never done, it may occur when developing relationships and friendships, generally by making assumptions or making blame.

‘The foundation of the Buddha’s teachings lies in compassion, and the reason for practicing the teachings is to wipe out the persistence of ego, the number one enemy of compassion.’ Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

Research shows ego can be a highly destructive force within you, whilst being the motivation and determination or desire for more.

Ego is want and need.

Simply; acting with your ego is not good for your well being.

‘Anytime there is a struggle between doing what is actually right and doing what seems right then you ego is interfering with your decision’. Darren L. Johnson.

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Interesting, self depreciating is what we would assume keeps us from reaching our highest heights, but it’s opposite, the ego, also keeps us in a place of mediocrity.

Fact: In Buddhist belief, you can perform an ‘egocide’ to remove your ego and release the full potential within you.

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Ego is your inner self that may have been hurt somewhere along your life’s journey. Take time to heal. Nourish. Rebuild trust for yourself, with trust, self love will come.

Acting with your ego is a defence mechanism.

 ‘The authentic self is the best part of a human being. Its the part of you that already cares, that is already passionate about evolution. When your authentic self miraculously awakens and becomes stronger then your ego, then you will truly begin to make a difference in this world.’ Andrew Cohen

Are you driven by your ego? Your desire, greed, a need to succeed?

*ego driven people are always competing and comparing.

*they may fear asking for help in hope they will receive credit.

*they have a need to always be right.

*they live in the past or future, rarely in the now.

*they always want more

‘Your ego is your souls worst enemy’ Rusty Eric

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Are you ready to change? Are you ready to create the life you love?

“Happiness is threatening and misery is safe – safe for the ego. Ego can exist only in misery and through misery. Ego is an island surrounded by hell; happiness is threatening to the ego, to the very existence of the ego. Happiness rises like a sun and the ego disappears, evaporates like a dewdrop on the grass leaf. Osho, The Dhammapada: The Way of the Buddha.

You can have a healthy ego, if you have self esteem, look after yourself and have values and morals. These are signs your ego is in balance.

Be confident, not arrogant; be humble, not proud; be driven, but appreciate; respond, don’t react; Listen, dont interrupt; Give more, take less..

Admit you are wrong when you are.

Give up the belief that you have to do it own your own.

Love & light, Charlie x.

Remember that the world does not revolve around you (sometimes we become so consumed in our own lives we forget to appreciate others).

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