My BIG Dream; The Clean Treats Factory

After careful consideration about sharing this with you, I felt that it was ok to, being in line with my brand beliefs, being real.

So today (for a long time really) I wanted to share with you the very thing that is making my heart beat to its own rhythm (even just the thought of it can increase my pulse rapidly), the very thing that keeps me awake at night, the thing that I spend countless hrs daydreaming/nightdreaming about, the thing that I can feel coursing through me veins…

The Clean Treats Factory.

{So yes, it will be Charlie & the Clean Treats Factory} And yes, I do think thats quite clever, the new age chocolate factory.

‘Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world.’ Harriet Tubman

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If you read my blogs, or follow me on social media you will have noticed Clean Treats is growing rapidly. Perhaps due to the #charliesballs (apparently people like to talk about #balls), or because the brand is so simple yet so effective, or because you support me {thank you}…either way…it is growing.

There comes a time in every business that you have to decide where you want to go and how you are going to get there.

Oh yes, that goal planning. From what I have heard and found, the best way to create and achieve these goals is to set your goal, your vision and work back from it, until you get to today.

What do you need to do today that will get you to where you want to be tomorrow, next year, 5 years time.

Today, I need to share this with you.

Are you a believer? Do you believe in magic? Do you believe that belief is the key essence to success?

To business? To life?

I do. I believe that this BIG dream will come true. You know why? Because Im not doing it for myself, Im doing it to create a healthy change in the world, to offer a safe place, a retreat, an escape away from the pressures of society. Im going to build this to say thank you to all the people who have supported me. It will be the peoples place, a sanctuary offering clean treats to honour your body, a place away from the chaotic stress we call our lives, a place just to be.

‘To accomplish great things, we must not only act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe.’ Anatole France

So let me tell you about it…

As you know, I have #balls… (oh gosh always sounds silly), and recently slices (which keep selling out) and raw chocolates.

As you may also know I love to speak. to anyone that will listen (although very rarely in a social situation).

Im also a fitness/yoga junkie.

Put all these together & you have… The Clean Treats Factory.

 “When we are motivated by goals that have deep meaning, by dreams that need completion, by pure love that needs expressing, then we truly live life.” – Greg Anderson

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A commercial kitchen that will allow the Clean Treats range to include everything from superfood salads to raw cakes, cookies and muffins (of course #balls) etc. All Gluten Free, Refined Sugar Free, Dairy Free & Vegan (some will be Paleo).

A garden cafe that you will have to walk through a Lavender filled path to enter (symbolising an escape and also working in a calming manner on the Central Nervous System) before entering an indoor/outdoor (think White, Peonies, rustic light wood, herbs, #charliestyle) cafe that will serve you everything on the Clean Treats menu (think decadent raw cakes, raw nachos, raw pad thai, delicate raw chocolates). Strategically placed trees that will be enjoyed with lighting and organic wine at night time (because wine IS good, especially organic & preservative free)

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Upstairs there will be a seminar room, used for meditation, community yoga (we all need to return to our mats/ourselves more) etc and a conference room with full catering.

And SO much more (that I cant really put out to the world).

This is my BIG dream.

And I BELIEVE.

With everything in me, around me, in the air I breathe that this will very soon be my reality.

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Why? Because I know that every no is closer to the RIGHT yes.

 

Because I know that this will create a healthy change.

Because I just know.

‘There are no secrets to success. It is the result or preparation, hard work, and learning from failure.’ Colin Powell

 

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‘Happiness does not come from doing easy work but from the afterglow of satisfaction that comes after the achievemnt os a difficult task that demanded our best.’ Theodore Isaac Rubin

Do you believe in magic?

Have you had your own personal dream come true?

I would love to hear your stories, or feedback/suggestions about how you have created your own dream reality.

This post is simply putting it out to the universe that the right investor will come to me.

I have put my order in. Now I can trust, have faith & relax that what is right for me will be.

Love & light, Charlie x.

‘All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.’ Walt Disney

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Heal your hurt; give more love.

It’s no doubt that we have all been hurt by people in our lives at some stage; family, friends, lovers.

 

It’s something I know we struggle with, the hurt, resentment, pain. How can we resolve issues that we are so sure we are RIGHT in without causing more conflict? As a very personal person {believe it or not but I do like to keep my most inner musings to myself and express through writing}, I find it has become difficult to communicate our true intentions. (Most of the time letting go of the need to be in the RIGHT, will resolve any issue).

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‘Remember that the happiest people are not those getting more, but those giving more.’ H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Though we live in a world where technology allows us to communicate in a mere moment, how often is it effective? How often are you expressing your true feelings, needs and thoughts? I know for myself, at least once a day I’m confused of the subtext and the context of text. Reading on the lines, between the lines…and then deciphering those emojiis.

I am beginning to understand the true power of love and release. Of being able to just let go (believe me as a traditional over analysing personality type, a person who wants to know all the whys and hows, this has been a learning curve for me). What I have found to be true, and it’s working for me, if somebody hurts you, disrespects you or treats you in a manner not aligned with your beliefs {basically in not a good way}, as much as you feel anger, hurt, sadness or pain…change those feelings with conscious thoughts of love.

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‘Kindness in words creates confidence. Kindness in thinking creates profoundness. Kindness in giving creates love’. Lao Tzu

It can be hard but it’s not impossible. Change your energy, and intention and instead of focusing on the bad, the words that have been said, the situation that has occurred, realise that they are only people who are doing the best they can with what they have, just like you… And send them love. Not hate. And let it go.

‘You can give without loving, but you cannot love without giving’. Robert Louis Stevenson

 

This is a process and practice I am working on personally, and I have found it much better to be a giver of love rather than a creator of ill will. You can change the world that you live in by simply changing your thoughts. If you find it difficult to change from such negativity to positivity research ways that you can express yourself, via writing, fitness, reading, music…

There are many ways to release and remove bad feelings, just find what works for you. For me, if someone does something to me or acts towards me in a way I’m not quite comfortable with, Ive started my ‘give more love’ process by imagining all the good things about that person, letting go of judgement and thoughts of ‘why’, then I create love, energy and light in my heart and send it to them. Wish them well. Then I let go. Sometimes some people aren’t meant to be in our lives.

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‘Give love, then forget that you gave it’ Sun Myong Moon

Use acts of self-love to tune into the environment you want to create by the people you surround yourself with. We are a product of that environment.

Do you have deep connections or are your conversations filled with what happened in a nightclub on the weekend? Or are those conversations always negative?

As I create my dream reality I’m finding myself drawn to others who are living their own passion, those who are thankful for each day, the dreamers, the opportunity makers…they make me want to be more…to believe in myself, to be a game changer, they inspire me and my soul delights in them.

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‘Generosity is giving more than you can, and pride is taking less than you need.’ Khalil Gibran

Let love create your world. Speak words of beauty and act with intention. Let go of anything that is not creating a better world for you and in turn for them. Use love to overcome the feelings that will only bring you down; hate, hurt, pain, envy, jealousy…and remove them from your heart {remember it is ok to feel these emotions, I’m purely suggesting you don’t keep your intentions focused on them and instead, change your focus and thoughts to the most powerful feeling of all, love}

Love & light, Charlie x.

Using love to heal my heart {and I believe its working!}

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(Its ok to) Feel your heart hurt.

Sometimes I feel a sense of being on edge, of something missing.

‘I do believe that if you haven’t learnt about sadness, you cannot appreciate happiness.’ Nana Mouskouri

For those that follow my Blog, you may know that I am not only on a journey to finding myself & living a better life but I am trying to repair a broken heart.

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Every day has been and is a step in the right direction, but I realised I’ve been moving so fast, I haven’t taken any time to truly feel the emotions; hurt, pain and a little sadness, that are still within me.

It takes time to truly mend, for the pieces to be put back together. It’s fine to continue living your life and move on, obviously this is the way to move forward. However it’s also important sometimes to stop and allow yourself to feel. To just experience what is going on inside.

“You’ve gotta dance like there’s nobody watching,
Love like you’ll never be hurt,
Sing like there’s nobody listening,
And live like it’s heaven on earth.”  William W. Purkey

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Whatever or whoever it was will be a part of your life. For me 5 years, a fake engagement and countless other woman is not something I can just put away in a locked compartment of my mind and heart never to be revisited. For you see, broken relationships and situations have something to teach you and this lesson cannot be learned over night. As difficult as it may be to accept, but it is a part of you, however it does not define you.

With another recent ‘didn’t quite turn out the way I wanted’ dating experience, I was feeling a little low.

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So rather than running from these not ‘bad’ but lower feelings I decided I needed a good Movie, my comfiest pyjamas and a good cry (yes a glass of some reservatrol/Merlot was required). I needed a release, and I feel so much better for it. I revisited my past for a fleeting moment; I felt the pain of everything that I went through like it was yesterday, but it was also more like I was watching a sad movie, viewing it form a different place in my life. I am no longer that person, I didn’t have to feel the guilt or the blame, the ‘I wasnt good enough’ feelings. I was able to reflect on everything that happened nad understand that that was what was, then, not now. I have been able to grow from it, sure its taken a long time, but to see the light sometimes we need to be in the dark.

For years I have run away from these types of feelings; sadness, depression, loneliness, but I’m here to say, that they are perfectly normal. For everyone. Just accept them, acknowledge them, and continue along your beautiful way.

 

‘My faith helps me overcome such negative emotions and find my equilibrium.’ Dalai Lama

And it’s perfectly Ok to accept these feelings, let them go and then move on. In fact it’s much better in the long-term of releasing and letting go that you do find ways to explore these feelings.

‘You will know that forgiveness has begun when you recall those who hurt you and feel the power to wish them well.’ Lewis B. Smedes

Now, I’m not promoting that you sit at home and wallow, because you are to gorgeous to be hidden away from the world and who knows your prince just may be around the corner looking for you. Obviously the fresher the situation the more feelings you will need to express, but as time goes on it will be me less and less as the hurt weakens and your heart strengths (believe me).

And it will, every day.

Sunday Self love; allow yourself to feel.

Love & light, Charlie x.

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Gossip…what good is it?

Do you find yourself caught in the vicious cycle of gossip? Why?

“Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.”  Eleanor Roosevelt

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How does it benefit you, to speak of someone or something in a derogative manner, to offer your opinion on something/someone you most likely have no idea about, and let’s be real, really has no effect on your own life?

Yet we have all been guilty of this nasty act, gossip. 

Does it make you feel better?

Does it determine your self worth?

Do you get satisfaction from offering your opinion?

Just as we’ve all been guilty of partaking in this terrible activity, I’m sure we have all been on the receiving side of gossip. Sometimes it can be quite interesting yet upsetting when it is relayed back to you (you learn things about yourself you didn’t even know existed or happened).

So why do we actively participate in brining other people down? Gossip is a bad habit. 

My mantra; if you have nothing nice to say, say nothing at all.

If you find yourself being drawn into a conversation or gossip session, politely excuse yourself, change the subject or remove yourself. You do not need to be part of the world that is negative, judgmental or opinionated. Be the change you wish to see in the world.

Just like positive thinking, positive speaking will bring so much more love and joy into your world. 

Why do you gossip?

“Gossip is just a tool to distract people who have nothing better to do from feeling jealous of those few of us still remaining with noble hearts.” Anna Godsperson

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Take a look within yourself, the answer is there. Most people partake in the bad habit of gossiping because they themselves do not feel good enough. Gossip or bringing other people down allows them to get a small sense of being better than (even though this is only perceived in their mind). Speak about the good in your life, share your happiness (there is always something good to be thankful for).

The fact is, how often do you know the real circumstances about the person or situation you are gossiping about (never)?

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“Be less curious about people and more curious about ideas.” Marie Curie

Really, who are you to judge? We all have a past, we are all trying to live life the best way we know how, and this includes making mistakes. Nobody deserves your judgement. Once you become a gossip you are in turn ruining your own reputation and creating a sense of distrust. Dont you want loving , respectful, trusting relationships nad friendships?

Gossiping says more about you than the person you are gossiping about. 

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Just stop. Say something nice instead. How brilliant would it be to know that people referred to you as ‘she never had a bad word to say about anyone’? (A lovely thought I imagine).

For attractive lips, speak words of kindness’ Audrey Hepburn. 

Interesting fact; in Shakespeare’s time, a GOSSIP was someone who sat with a women during child-birth to speak with her and offer comfort.

Love & light, Charlie x.

‘Be impeccable with your word. Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love. ‘ Miguel Angel Ruiz.

 

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Land Mines (situations) & how to avoid them.

Every now and then we come across land mines that have the power to destroy us or hurt us.

‘Suffering becomes beautiful when anyone bears great calamities with cheerfulness, not through insensibility but through greatness of mind.’ Aristotle

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We can choose to react; creating drama, problems and ill feeling thoughts, or we can choose to respond; to reflect, evaluate and solve the issue.

How can we effectively choose to respond when our emotions run rampant and choose to react to situations?

Perhaps your boss wasnt happy with your level of work. Perhaps you stumble across an ex boy/girl friend picture with their new boy/girl friend. Perhaps it’s a simple no to a question you asked in hope of a yes.

Our emotions are controlled by the thoughts we think. You do have the power to choose them, although at times this can be difficult to believe. I write from personal experience, there was a time when all I would do with every situation that I continued to put myself in was run around and create ‘drama’, looking for a helping hand, feeling like my life had literally blown up. All I really needed to do was be still and look within.

Sometimes we don’t foresee these land mines and they can affect us in ways we didn’t know possible.

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‘Adversity is the first path to truth.’  ~Lord Byron

Bu it is your choice.

Creating healthy habits and thoughts daily (even every day that you are happy) will in turn build strength, positivity and self trust within yourself. So when you stunble across a land mine you can effectively deal with it; the thoughts and emotions.

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I have found that just like in the field, if you sense or do come across one of these, its important to be still and reflect. What is happening in this very moment? What emotions are you having? What thoughts are they created by?

If you find yourself always reacting, its a good tool to write down the thoughts and feelings as they occur when situations arise. Dont be surprised when you see a pattern. This pattern may stem from inner insecurities, self-doubt or as far back to your childhood.

Even our misfortunes are a part of our belongings.  ~Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

If you can be still and ask yourself ‘what can I do for you in this very moment’ the answer will come to you, and trust me it’s not to go and create more drama, if you really listen, most of the time the answer will be walk away, let it be, or it’s not your problem, (sometimes we get ourselves so caught up in other people’s problems) generally your answer will be to release and let go in some form thats specific to your issue.

There will always be highs and lows in this beautiful journey that is life, but with every situation you have the choice about how you want to feel.

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If you do have the ability to sense land mines, dont be afraid to take a side step and re direct your self. The only thing certain in this life is change. Be willing and ready to change your direction.

If you do find yourself at a land mine, know that whatever it is you can deal with it. Everything will always be ok (this is one of my personal mantras as I am a highly reactive/learning to respond person).

The problem is not that there are problems.  The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem.  ~Theodore Rubin

After all it is our trials and tribulations that make us stronger and the absolutely amazing person I know you are, today.

‘Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit.’ Napoleon Hill

Life is a journey, yours is your own and only you have the power to create the life you love.

Choose wisely.

Love & light, Charlie x.

(off to practice my side stepping).

Please trust me when I say; every cloud has a silver lining, you just have to be willing, open and ready to see it. Open your eyes, your heart, everything you need is already there.

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A Leap of Faith…

I’ve often heard this term and contemplated what it actually meant; how big did the leap have to be before it was determined a leap of faith? Were small risks considered? Did you have to risk absolutely everything for the chance to achieve greatness?

Faith: Belief without evidence.

“All the world is made of faith, and trust, and pixie dust.” J.M Barrie, Peter Pan
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Yesterday I discovered something that is truly priceless to me. Something I have never had before, self trust.

I took the (giant) leap of faith to chase my dreams instead of following them. Exhilarating yet scary, I found myself condoning old behavior and negative thoughts; what if it doesn’t work? Who do you think you are? You’ll end up with nothing.

I suffered an attack of my old friend self doubt.  (OLD, I broke up with him a while ago, but like real exes, he still likes to reappear every now and then).

‘We must walk conciously only part way toward our goal, and then leap in the dark to our success.’ Henry David Thoreau

For only a moment I allowed these thoughts in my mind, I was pleasantly surprised when a small gentle, warm thought passed over these negative, derivative contemplations…you can do it.

Wow. Like Elizabeth Gilbert in Eat, pra,  love; she asks for a sign in her moment of desperation, a voice in her head says ‘go back to bed Liz.

You can do it.

Four little, yet momentous words that completely filled my body with warmth (light/passion/happiness/joy).

And it continued; I believe in you, you have been working your whole life towards this moment, embrace it, let it happen, make it happen. I have faith in you.

I trust in your ability.

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Once upon a time I would have been too scared to take risks, to even contemplate taking a leap of faith, but I have always had a dream.

‘By leaving your comfort zone behind and taking a leap of faith into something new, you find out who you are truly capable of becoming’

I always wanted to create change in this beautiful world we live in, no matter how big or how small, even for one person, every little bit matters, yet it was my negative self talk, my lack of self-love, the fear I was holding onto of not being good enough that always held me back.

They say if your dreams don’t scare you they aren’t big enough.

My dream is (SO) big, exciting and scary.

But I can do it.

Because I have found my passion. My life’s purpose.

‘To be inspired, mean to be ín spirit’ Wayne Dyer

It takes time to build and develop a sense of self, but if you work on a little self-love, a little personal development and have a little faith every day, you will have your very own ‘aha’ moment. A moment that is worth more than all the diamonds in the world, worth more than a six-pack of abs, something worthy of your everything. A sense of self.

It has been a long journey for me, through depression, bad relationships, personal health problems and wreaking havoc on my body for the desire to  look good naked. My journey will continue, no doubt with many ups and downs and sideways twists, but I am ready.

 “Energy and persistence conquer all things.” – Benjamin Franklin

All the hard work, the daily affirmations, the numerous books Ive read (I cant wait to have a wall of books!), the lessons I have been taught are all worth it to get to this point.

A place of self love, self-trust and knowledge that I can create the life I love, I can be anything I dream of being.

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My dream is to share love. To share my knowledge, to inspire and motivate people to be the very best version of themselves. To look past the mirror, to look inside and truly feel beautiful, to radiate your inner grace.

When I start to get a little nervous…contemplating the ‘what if it doesn’t work’, I take a moment, breathe, smile (it does make a difference) and repeat mantras; love what you do, follow your passion, what is meant for you will come to you.

I have opened myself to the infinite opportunity of the universe, and I am ready to become what I am meant to be.

 “Don’t ask yourself what the world needs; ask yourself what makes you come alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive.” – Harold Whitman

Success isn’t about a destination, or having the latest car, handbag or hot boyfriend. It’s about the journey.

Regardless of what anyone has to say (it really doesn’t bother me if you choose to be judgemental), I am feeling successful. This is my life, my dream, my success. I am taking my leap of faith, unsure of what tomorrow will bring, but living for the now, planting seeds of love and positivity all around me so the beautiful garden that is my life will grow.

Every small step I take is a choice I am making to live my life filled with love.

Don’t let fear hold you back.

Don’t let tour negative self talk stop you.

Follow your heart.

Feeling inspired, ‘in  spirit’

Love & light, Charlie

I am available for individual wellness coaching, business consulting & public wellness seminars.

Are you in Sydney? Come along to my 12 steps to wellness Seminar on October 9th at Anytime Fitness Randwick.

I hope to meet your gorgeous self there!

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I also offer Be Well; the Project, if you are hoping to create change and incorporate healthy habits into your life.

“Be at least as interested in what goes on inside you as what happens outside. If you get the inside right, the outside will fall into place.” Eckhart Tolle

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The Pretty Qualities; Honesty.

Have we become so self obsessed/busy that we’ve forgotten the moral code? The right way to treat other people? Common courtesy? It seems to me that we are breeding a culture of ‘its all about me’.

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Honesty is a quality that seems to be lacking. In a society where we all live a little guarded, protecting ourselves and our hearts from hurt and disappointments, wouldn’t it be important to spend time practising this quality?

I’ve found that people will be dishonest when trying to protect themselves, rather than being honest and dealing with the circumstances.

Honesty is always appreciated.

If you know something but you don’t tell someone, are you being dishonest or simply omitting the truth? Obviously I don’t promote to interfere with other people’s business, just to act your own way, with integrity and honestly.

‘Honesty is the first chapter in the book of wisdom’. Thomas Jefferson.

 

As a business development manager, and a skin care trainer, one of the best lessons I have learnt; if you don’t know something, be honest, find out the answer and get back to the client/student. People respect honesty and view dishonesty with disdain.

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Are you an honest person?

Being honest means you refrain from lying, cheating, stealing and acting hypocritically.

If something/someone upsets you, do you hold onto resentment, or do you let the other person know their actions have affected you (of course this happens in life, were all different people on our own journeys). Be honest, talk about how those actions have made yo feel, and then choose to get over it, or invest your time elsewhere. Everyone has a different set of morals and values that they live by, spend time with people who share your moral code (not saying some are good, some are bad, just everyone is different).

 ‘Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around’. Leo Buscaglia

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Truth hurts. It’s true. The truth can be more damaging than a lie, or omitting it, but the truth will always come to light. Your better to be the person telling it. Whether to a lover, family or friend, honesty isn’t easy. Especially when words of truth have the ability to hurt, but honesty is always valued.

Many situations can be avoided when you act honestly.

I know now, if i make a mistake (whether in work or relationships) I’m quick to admit it and then FIX it. Be honest.

‘Honest disagreement is often a good sign of progress’. Gandhi

The truth is no one is perfect, but we are all here trying to live our lives happily with great love, family and friendship, to accomplish this, you must include honesty in your list of core qualities.

 ‘If Im honest I have to tell you I still read fairy tales and I like them best of all.’ Audrey Hepburn

Be honest with yourself. Who you are, what you like, what you dislike, stop trying to be somebody you’re not. When you start acting in a manner that is true to you, you’ll find the happiness you have been searching for, act from a place of integrity, live a life of passion.

 ‘There are those who are good with goodness, and also treat those who are not good with goodness. Thus goodness is attained. Be honest to those who are honest, and also be honest to those who are not honest. Thus honesty is attained. Lao Tzu

Treat other people how you want to be treated.

Love & light, Charlie x.

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The Dating Game…For Him

Now its only fair after dedicating a piece; The Dating Game for her, that I dedicate a piece to him (from her).dm1

Dating, yes it can be fun, yes it can be confusing, and yes you must take part if you ever want to meet that special someone. But when did it become a game with a rule book without defined rules? I mean would you play Rugby/footy without a playbook?

So this is for the guys out there that would like a rare insight into the female mind.

Speaking to some male friends about the dating scene and the game that is played, it seems that some of you are just as confused as most of us. One even said to me, you can’t be too nice, it gets you nowhere.

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It has become a battlefield where we protect our hearts and our feelings in layers of mistrust, wary and judgement. Yet we are all out there looking for the same thing (well some people aren’t).

‘The man who has never made a fool of himself in love will never be wise in love.’ Theodor Reik

Men and women are different. PROVEN fact.

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What women appreciate:

Be yourself; don’t try to be someone you’re not to impress her. Let your true colours show and then you both have a fair chance of deciding if there is attraction there.

Have manners; its ok to forget these around the boys, but act like a man and you may find a lady.

Listen to her (and pay attention); woman love to talk (FACT), this is how we deal with daily life, we like to analyse it, worry about it, think about every possible situation that may arise and then we eventually solve it. Let us.

‘People will not remember you for what you did or what you said – but for how they felt when they were around you. ‘ Mary Angelou

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Be Honest; Treat her how you would like to be treated. Be a good person. Treat her with respect.

Make an effort; women appreciate the small things, like calling when you say you will, being on time, and doing what you say you will, be a man of your word. Women require reassurance. Effort is reassurance.

‘Piglet sidled up to Pooh from behind. ‘Pooh’! he whispered. ‘Yes, piglet?’ ‘Nothing,”said Piglet, taking Pooh’s Paw. I just wanted to be sure of you’. A.A Milne

Dont forget Romance; it doesn’t need to be extravagant, simple Good Morning Beautiful/Goodnight messages can be enough for a smile.

Make the first move; whilst most women aren’t afraid to get what they want, there’s nothing like the thrill (and research shows you love the thrill of the chase) of being asked out by a guy (you just may have had your eye on, girls make it easy for him, smile, say hello), if she says no, so what?

‘Men always want to be a womans first love; women like to be a mans last romance’. Oscar Wilde

Mostly, have fun. Dont be a player, that may have been fun when you were younger…but it takes a real man to respect a real woman.

I am no expert, these are the simple thoughts that have been discussed between myself and my friends on many occasions (no doubt other woman) about the complicated, confusing game of dating.

“Don’t worry about finding the right woman concentrate on becoming the right man.”  Unknown
Love & Light, Charlie x.
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You, Best friend or Worst enemy?

Are you your own Best friend; loving, supportive, caring for yourself? Or your own Worst enemy, negative, derogative, disrespectful to your self?

Are you always waiting for the right time; or when the right job happens, then you’ll change you health/fitness lifestyle; when the right man comes along, you’ll work at eating better for living well; or waiting for a friend to join the gym so you can train together?

What is it you are waiting for? In actual fact you are only practising self sabotaging behaviour, procrastinating change. Change isn’t easy.

But Change is the only one thing in this world that you can guarantee will happen. That’s life.

I previously struggled with Self sabotage, so much, that I have had other people comment to me, to say this was what I was doing; self sabotaging. My rollercoaster life, I would live the ‘good’ but then my inner critic would say I didn’t deserve it so my self sabotage habits would occur, ruining anything good I had created until I felt bad. And on it went. What a pattern, the ups the downs, its no wonder not only was I exhausted, but the people around me were exhausted (and frustrated).

How much do you rely on other people to ‘fix’ things for you? To ‘help’ you? My honest advice, stop. Now. Only you have the power to change your life. But first you must decide you want to change.

Its no good speaking about it without following through by taking the required actions.

Actions Speak louder then words. Its true.

You must be prepared to accept change, be willing to let go of old negative thoughts and behaviour patterns and be ready to live the life you love! YOU CAN MAKE IT HAPPEN! Nobody but you can do it.

‘The thing always happens that you really believe in; and the belief in a thing makes it happen.’ Frank Lloyd Wright

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So ask yourself, what is it that you are waiting for? Why are you holding back? Do you actually really want to live a good life filled with love and positivity, or are you holding onto an excuse of why that wont (cant) happen for you.

In this life we all have our own situations and tribulations that we have to deal with. Its the nature of life to test us, sometimes challenge us and see how strong you are. This is the beauty that is life. Overcoming obstacles for the greater good.

“Promise me you’ll always remember: You’re braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.’

Christopher Robin to Pooh (by A. A. Milne)

Resilience is the ability to work with adversity in such a way that one comes through it unharmed or even better for the experience.  Resilience means facing life’s difficulties with courage and patience – refusing to give up.  It is the quality of character that allows a person or group of people rebound from misfortune, hardships and traumas.

The difference between self sabotage behaviour and self love behaviour is that when something goes ‘wrong’;

When you act from Self sabotage, its all downhill, the mind spirals into a world of negative thoughts, nothing seems to ever go right for you, why does this always happen to you, things will never be good for me etc.

When you act from self love; you know that everything will always be ok. No matter what happens. Because you have trust and self respect for yourself.

‘In order to succeed, we must first believe that we can.’ Michael Korda

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Self Sabotage (worst enemy) behaviour:

Procrastination:

In psychology, procrastination refers to the act of replacing more urgent actions with tasks less urgent, or doing something from which one derives enjoyment, and thus putting off impending tasks to a later time. In accordance with Freud, the pleasure principle may be responsible for procrastination; humans prefer avoiding negative emotions, and delaying a stressful task. The concept that humans work best under pressure provides additional enjoyment and motivation to postponing a task. (Wikipedia excerpt)

Comparison:

Comparison is the thief of all joy.

This is true. Stop comparing yourself to others. Stop comparing your beginning to somebody else’s middle or end. We are all different and unique. Your journey is that, yours, no one else’s.

Self Hate:

Refers to an extreme dislike or hatred of oneself, or being angry at or even prejudiced  against oneself.

Stop hating yourself for everything that you aren’t. Start loving yourself for everything that you are.

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Avoiding past issues (being the ‘victim’):

Stop blaming someone or something else for where you are right now. If you are not happy, change. Too often we hear excuses, I cant dot hat right now because of …. This is just an excuse. Excuses will get you nowhere. I understand there may have been situations and occurrences in your life or you may be living with health issues, but there is always a way to create the change you long for and to live a happier healthier life. Always. But first you must want it enough to change your mindset.

Not good enough syndrome:

The impostor syndrome, sometimes called impostor phenomenon or fraud syndrome, is a psychological phenomenon in which people are unable to internalize their accomplishments. Despite external evidence of their competence, those with the syndrome remain convinced that they are frauds and do not deserve the success they have achieved. Proof of success is dismissed as luck, timing, or as a result of deceiving others into thinking they are more intelligent and competent than they believe themselves to be. (Wikipedia excerpt).

“The only person who can pull me down is myself, and I’m not going to let myself pull me down anymore.”   C.JoyBell

Self Love (Best friend) behaviour:

*Trust yourself

*Appreciate what is good in your life…take a moment to look around, really look, open your eyes and see how much good is in your life, and be grateful to yourself, for you created it.

*Know that if you want something you can have it (you just have to work hard for it). Set goals, and work towards them EVERY DAY.

*Understand that a healthy body = a healthy mind. You consciously make the choices you  make, do you eat healthy? Do you exercise? are you taking responsibility for your own health? Knowing that a good life starts from within yourself? If you aren’t happy and healthy on the inside how can you expect to be happy and healthy on the outside. Be real.

*Love your personal uniqueness ( IM perfect). You were created perfectly exactly as you are. the day that you begin to appreciate your flaws or imperfections is the day no one else can use them against you.

*Believe in yourself. YOU are the creator of your own success. YOU have the power to change. YOU are the only one who can live your life and decide what type of life YOU want to live.

(If you don’t know, I would suggest you take some quiet reflection time and ask yourself what it is you really want).

‘Your belief determines your action and your action determines your results, but first you have to believe.’ Mark Victor Hansen

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Use the power of now…stop waiting for him, her, your friend, the right time. There will never be the ‘right’ time (your practising procrastination skills, something I’ve done a lot of and believe me it gets you nowhere).

Love & Light, Charlie x.

Be your own best friend. How do you treat you best friend? Hopefully with love and respect). BElieve (in) YOUrself

‘ You have to believe in yourself’ Sun Tzu

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